The rules of life

slacker

Get out of the middle lane. It's not yours.

Bridgehouse

If it looks like a scam, smells like a scam, sounds like a scam and makes your scam radar go off, it's a scam.

If any of the above are even partly true, it's a scam.

If it's too good a deal, it's a scam.

The internet is a brilliant way for people to scam you, so chances are they are going to try it.

IvanMC

Live and let live. Simple, classic, and great. Had a bad day at the job? The boss pissed you off? Play guitar. Play the shit out all evening (Rick's massive wisdom).

snakemanStoo

Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!

Strat54

Don't marry a woman without a hobby, or else she'll be forever protesting/obstructing your guitar indulgences/expenditure. Her hobby will then become trying to ruin yours...just sayin'

ICBM

snakemanStoo said:

Do not act incautiously when confronting little bald wrinkly smiling men!

Do you know my daughter's karate instructor?

Danji

Have a good time........ all the time.

axisus

We can all learn a lot from the way kids think, so put yourself into a child - Jimmy saville

Christophe

Wear sunscreen - Baz Luhrmann

HAL9000

It is easier to get forgiveness than to get permission 
There are no pockets in a shroud
 Never play leapfrog with a unicorn

ICBM

HAL9000 said:

It is easier to get forgiveness than to ger permission

One of the greatest misconceptions of all time.

Women (in particular) don't forgive easily.

Sambostar

Don't project your issues on to others
Never take anything for granted
Don't expect anything from anyone
Don't hold a grudge
Don't hold a memory
Think about it
Do drink too much ale
Laugh
Work hard
Don't hate horse riders as they're horny and have all the muscles in the right places
Find a decent sunscreen and wear a hat
Make animal noises
Sing Priest's 'Breaking the Law' riff often and loudly
Talk to yourself a lot, it's natural.
Bond with strangers.

ThePrettyDamned

Always eat your mate after giving birth.

Sesh

If it's not yours, don't touch it (without permission).

smigeon

Hofstadter's Law: "It always takes longer than you think, even taking Hofstadter's law into account."

mike_l

If she says it's a 5 minute job, take 2 weeks off work to complete.

If she says it's a 2 week job, sit down and have a brew, it'll be done in no time.

Myranda

When you're an adult you get to decide what qualifies as a waste of time - or what is silly... But only in your own home.  

TheBlueWolf

Walking away is often the only solution and it's fine.

starwarsnosebleed

Smell it before you lick it.

snakemanStoo

Be afraid when you are in possession of a deadly weapon and face an unarmed man in a pose of submission