Dumb things you get asked at work

mike_l

We all get asked stupid questions from time to time. In the last couple of years I've been asked
Why don't you stock bits for my 1967 Gull-wing Mercedes?
What would you recommend for fixing my fish pond?
Why don't you have parts for my boat?
I work in a truck and plant parts supplier.......

What stupid questions do you get asked at work?

Iamnobody

I work in a marine and aquatics centre and I'm always being asked for truck parts...

quarky

Not that I've been asked, but I have told fucking stupid things like,
"you're wrong, we don't need to put in a desktop management system for our 10,000 PCs"
"We will never move stuff into cloud because you need to shift your data, so why bother"

Actually, one stupid thing I was asked to do, was fill in a change request for firewall changes to allow a trust relationship between two domains in separate parts of the company. Basically, it would have taken something like creating 500 lines in a table in a Word document. If the change gets rejected because I didn't do it (you can explain it in about two sentences), I will tell them to hire a contractor to do it.

fretmeister

From a trainee upon  learning I also do magic...

"I know you do magic. Are you an illusionist or a real magician?"

it wont surprise anyone to know I wouldn't sign off on their qualification.

Bucket

I work in a supermarket. A kid today came up and asked if we had any toast.

Boromedic

My regular night shift conversation used to usually involve the question:

Do you think he/she has been spiked........

No they've just drank far too frickin much, and when you say this its usually followed up by the equally stupid:

But they usually drink far more than this and they're fine.

If only it was that straightforward.....

Not that I'm bothered, they're usually one of the easiest patients to deal with as they are too far gone to be any trouble!!

EricTheWeary

Bucket said:

I work in a supermarket. A kid today came up and asked if we had any toast.

I've bought pre packed toast in French supermarkets  and you can buy French Toast ( which is a similar thing, I think it's a bit sweetened) in Tesco. 

EricTheWeary

I'm basically the office junior where I work now so I ask all the stupid questions  

relic245

As I hypnotherapist I was asked can you hypnotise my ex and get her to forgive me for having an affair? 

Me - what doss she think about that? 
Him - she doesn't know, I was thinking you  could walk past her in a supermarket or something and hypnotise her and do it there. 

Sporky

I get asked a lot of questions that could be solved by looking at a picture of the bit of kit in question. Or reading the manufacturer's website. Or reading the manual, or running one of the five bits of software required.

ESBlonde

We now get asked to complete 6 monthly staff reviews complete  with a stupid questions form to tick and comment. Ocwr half the staff have 20 years and some over 40! If you ever feel like doing something pointless, pop round and have a go.

Flink_Poyd

The hot weather we've had lately usually brings up

Office worker in aircon " It must be lovely working outside today.."

Me, with sweat dripping off my nose " Sign here please you fucking moron....."

kin

Why have the stones started to fall out of my ring ?  ( that I have worn all day/everyday for thirty/forty/fifty odd years, yet have never even had cleaned let alone checked over in all that time.)

The chain, that I brought in for repair six months ago ( that I've worn everyday for twenty years ) has broken again, I think it's the same link, I won't have to pay again, will I? Because it was fine for twenty years before I brought it in here!


Bastards!

Dominic

I once spent 40 minutes explaining to a decorator that the undercoat and top coat were different colours but of the same colour family ..........He kept saying "Don't worry,I understand Guvnor "
As I walked away he looked a bit perplexed and said.....
"oh just one thing........do the two colours come in the same tin ! "

jamiexsilver

Where do I start!
ones that stuck with me.

A lad I work with once asked me this
What's the best way to peel a orange, is it with a spoon?

One day I had a customer ask me what a butt plug was. I thought he was joking, he wasn't I literally had to draw one on some paper.

then you get all the old fellas in on a Saturday morning saying " I know they do them I've seen them" I always reply with "who's they?" Then they'll describe a fitting that doesn't exist. 

I could go on.

Teyeplayer

Was a bookseller some years ago and the things we were asked often defy belief. One lady for instance asked "where's your child abuse section" - the confused look on her face when I asked if she was looking for the 'how to' or the 'dummies guide' was quite special (even if I had sussed immediately that she wanted misery memoirs). There was another lady who asked for 'that book, you know the one I mean, the blue one, I think it had a tree on the cover', no title, no author , no idea what it was about -I looked deep into my crystal ball and suggested she look 'in our blue section, down the shop and on your left', she never came back so she's either still there looking or she realised that not having a title or author was possibly a hopeless task after all.

bodhi

The dumbest ever:  "My mouse cable is too short".

Said cable trapped under a mound of more earthly possessions under the desk than I could or would care to accumulate over multiple lifetimes.

Tavernor

When I was in the wine game loads of people hated chardonnay but loved Chablis...

underdog

"Can you make sure you don't hurt me", just before I put a needle through their ear/nose/nipple/belly/cheek/neck/arm

WezV

"Can I ask a dumb question",

fairly sure you just did.


i welcome questions, some even involve me starting a half hour rant which I thoroughly enjoy.  

stimpsonslostson

I run a lab at a university... I have too many to go into. 

Internationally renowned professor ripping strips off me for a microscope being broken... He hadn't plugged it in. 

Student nearly failed an honours project as he assumed that the light stayed on in a fridge when the door is closed. (He was working on the effect of cold on an organism that needed light to display the behaviour he was monitoring).