Dumb things you get asked at work

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  • TTonyTTony Frets: 27345
    WezV said:
    "Can I ask a dumb question",

    I used to think that there were no "dumb" questions,  if you don't know something, then you should ask rather than making a dumb mistake.


    Bucket said:
    I work in a supermarket. A kid today came up and asked if we had any toast.
    But now, I'm not so sure.
    Having trouble posting images here?  This might help.
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  • TavernorTavernor Frets: 85
    It's not work, but I noticed my Cambridge educated sisters reversing light was out once. She asked if the police might notice and pull her over driving home on the motorway. I know quite a few Cambridge/Oxford grads, I wouldn't trust a lot of them to tie their own shoe laces.
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  • Tavernor said:
    It's not work, but I noticed my Cambridge educated sisters reversing light was out once. She asked if the police might notice and pull her over driving home on the motorway. I know quite a few Cambridge/Oxford grads, I wouldn't trust a lot of them to tie their own shoe laces.
    There certainly seems to be an inverse relationship between level of academic achievements and common sense. 
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  • WezVWezV Frets: 16546
    TTony said:
    WezV said:
    "Can I ask a dumb question",

    I used to think that there were no "dumb" questions,  if you don't know something, then you should ask rather than making a dumb mistake.


    Bucket said:
    I work in a supermarket. A kid today came up and asked if we had any toast.
    But now, I'm not so sure.
    You skipped my second point.  That question would definitely get a half hour rant
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  • "Have you killed all the female virgins? You're positive that you got them all & that they're all dead?"
    Maybe not a dumb question, but one that certainly got the attention of the cleaner working in my office. 
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  • TavernorTavernor Frets: 85
    Very true, I went to a formal at Cambridge once and had an argument with a vegetarian who are fish who and didn't realise I was winding him up. At all. I told him he should eat ducks too, because ducks are basically fish. He disagreed in an extremely extremely (extremely) condescending way/tone, 'ducks aren't basically fish', he genuinely thought I was legitimately debating that ducks were a form of fish. I pointed out fish weren't basically plants and the conversation ended, small victory for me. He was so far fetched as a human being I actually thought he was sending himself up and was a Chris Morris style genius for a while. Unfortunately he wasn't and to paraphrase that guy in Good Will Hunting will probably be served fries by me at a drive through on the way to a skiing holiday in France one day soon.
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  • Flink_PoydFlink_Poyd Frets: 2490
    Me: "Hello, one parcel to sign for..."

    Idiot  Customer: " Whats that?"

    Me on the outside " Not sure, if you sign for it you can find out, ha ha ha..."

    Me in my head " How do I know? YOU ORDERED THE FUCKING THING!!!"

    This happens up to 10 times a day along with

    "Is it ticking/hope its not a bomb *chuckle* "

    " I cant remember ordering anything...................Oh wait....."

    " Can you wait 10 minutes/come back later while I finish packing this parcel that I said would be ready at 1000 even though its now 1430.....?"




    Nobody is guaranteed tomorrow.....


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  • TavernorTavernor Frets: 85
    There is the old adage about never arguing with idiots as they will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I came across a new version the other day, along the lines of, 'dont try and explain yourself to idiots - you aren't the f***face whisperer'. Enjoyed that.
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  • professorbenprofessorben Frets: 5105
    Bucket said:
    I work in a supermarket. A kid today came up and asked if we had any toast.
    I work in supermarkets. 
    I fix the lights, whilst on top of a ladder, light fitting in pieces around my head.....
    "excuse me! Where the Orange Juice?"

    ffs. 
    " Why does it smell of bum?" Mrs Professorben.
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  • TavernorTavernor Frets: 85
    How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
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  • skunkwerxskunkwerx Frets: 6838
    Jeez. I work in retail so If I didnt get asked stupid questions, I wouldnt get asked questions at all.

    This years finest:

    Xmas temp: You look like a pirate, do you have a boat?

    Another xmas temp: Why do they call you Schapes? (Short version of my real name). Is it because your hair is different shapes? 

    Where are your dvds? 

    Is this a video? 

    Do blu rays play on dvds? 

    What was that song from the adverts last night? 

    Whats the difference between this and the special edition with bonus songs? 

    Where are the tills? (We're a very small fucking store) 

    Do tescos have this for cheaper? 

    Why arent there more older staff here? 

    The list goes on.... 


    The only easy day, was yesterday...
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  • Working in a film rental store-
    Them "Do you have that film with the guy in it". 
    Me "I might need a bit more information, which film & guy"
    Them "if I knew that I wouldn't be asking YOU"

    My personal favourite was the regular (at least 5 times a shift) 
    "I don't know what to watch, can you recommend something I'll like"
    "What was the last film you liked"
    "I dunno, I like most things"
    FFS
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  • ReverendReverend Frets: 4974
    From a trainee upon  learning I also do magic...

    "I know you do magic. Are you an illusionist or a real magician?"

    it wont surprise anyone to know I wouldn't sign off on their qualification.


    You should have turned him into a frog.
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  • fobfob Frets: 1430
    I work in supermarkets. 
    I fix the lights, whilst on top of a ladder, light fitting in pieces around my head.....
    "excuse me! Where the Orange Juice?"
      Next to the Apple Juice!

    My first Saturday job was in a supermarket and I had a customer ask me where the pasta was. I asked if he wanted fresh or dried and he looked at me with a bit of disdain and said 'fresh'. I took him to it and he seemed amazed (he'd wanted dried - 25+ years ago fresh pasta was fairly new in supermarkets). He held a packet in his hand like it was an alien artifact and turned to me and asked 'And I can buy this?'
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  • martmart Frets: 5205
    fob said:
    I work in supermarkets. 
    I fix the lights, whilst on top of a ladder, light fitting in pieces around my head.....
    "excuse me! Where the Orange Juice?"
      Next to the Josef K!
    ...
    Ftfy.
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  • darthed1981darthed1981 Frets: 11670
    Tavernor said:
    How many guitarists does it take to change a lightbulb?
    Five?

    One to change the lightbulb and four to argue about whether the light bulbs made in America by a machine are worth £1000 more than the ones made in China by a machine?
    We have to be so very careful, what we believe in...
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  • McSwaggertyMcSwaggerty Frets: 657
    ' Have you got a new bubble for this spirit level ?'


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  • McSwaggertyMcSwaggerty Frets: 657
    'Have you got a packet of sparks for my Grinder ?'
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  • BoromedicBoromedic Frets: 4700
    All these shop ones, aside from reminding me of my time working for a large supermarket chain also reminded me of this!
    Love this film!



    My head said brake, but my heart cried never.


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  • 57Deluxe57Deluxe Frets: 7329
    Me (at tuning up stage) - right, play the E major chord.... Student of  18 months - "which one is that again?"
    <Vintage BOSS Upgrades>
    __________________________________
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