Friday humour

Hootsmon

Fretwired

Nitefly

"Droopy Drawers", by Lucy Lastic.

Fretwired

Fun at the fair by Candy Floss ...

ESBlonde

Cliff tragidy - Eilean Dovery. 

hotpot

Scrotum care - Tess Tickle.

Fretwired

kin

Should this be a new thread, Good Friday humour? ^^

Sesh

"Dad, why is my sister called Teresa?"
"Well, your mum likes Easter, and Teresa is an anagram of that."
"Ok, thanks dad."
"No problem, Alan."

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

quarky

Would be funny if it wasn't so true..

axisus

I bought a rubbish thesaurus. It's rubbish.

axisus

They booked The Cure to play in the evening at the homeopathy convention, but Placebo turned up instead. No one noticed. 

rawk100

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery. Mick says 

"Crikey!  There's a bloke here who was 152!"

Paddy says "What's his name?"

Mick replies "Miles, from London!"

Cacofonix

ESBlonde said:

Just been sent this in an email so thought I'd share.

I happened to run into an old school friend today. 
He started bragging, talking about his well paying job and expensive life style. 
Then he pulled out a photo of his wife and said, 
"She's beautiful, isn't she?" 
I said, 
"If you think she's gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend." 
He said, 
"Why? Is she a stunner?" 
I said, .

What?

hotpot

Be Strong


A man escapes from a prison where he’s been locked up for 15 years
He breaks into a house and inside, he finds a young couple in bed.
He ties him to a chair. While tying the wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband whispers over to his wife,
“Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He’s probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years.

I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain. Do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!”

She responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he’s gay, thinks you’re cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too.”

Bellycaster

What is the Favourite Song of all Mushrooms?
























We are the Champignons!



Thank you and Goodnight.

Nitefly

Have we lost some pages from this thread?

axisus

Nitefly said:

Have we lost some pages from this thread?

I don't get it?