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Thing is the focus of songs for me is more for the folks you are playing to, so unless there are too many teeth gritting songs in the set then compromise.
On particularly contentious songs maybe try a different arrangement or take it it a different genre. As long as it doesn't end up sounding like ass of course.
Never easy though if people get hung up on getting their favouritist songs in the set.
We're not gigging yet ... we are still building up a set list from scratch with a view to gigging in a few months (depending on recruiting a new keyboard player and 2nd vocalist, so fingers crossed on that time line).
We have a rota of 20+ songs that we have learned and played through ... some much more than others.
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I don't mind song choices but I like them to have some idea how we will do it, or at least don't expect one guitar to sound like 3 guitars and a horn section.
Ideally with a covers band you have some kind of parameters of what the band covers. So, party hits of the 80's covers band. If that sounds like your kind of thing then most song choices will be fine. If its just any song from history then, well, then you might not like any of them I suppose. Or be able to sell yourself to venues mebbe.
Singers will always try and dictate shyte songs with no groove or decent riffs or guitar parts. Bass players will insist that you play chordy numbers or if you are lucky funky things so that they can take it easy or get a platform to express themselves, lead inclined guitar players will always try and stretch the technical boundaries so you end up playing non sensical stuff that bypasses the audience completely, sounds thin and barely holds together and drummers usually don't get a say in anything.
As a band you should stick to the numbers that sound tightest and really rock, everyone can pull off fluently with their eyes closed and that the audience will enjoy and build upon that. There is no point over stretching yourselves in any one direction if it translates badly to the audience. Try everything, see what works and what doesn't, then develop a theme from that.
We came together under the banner of doing soul / r&b / motown.
Most of us had not played in such bands before.
The songs go back to 60s Motown, through 70s Chic to 00s Noisettes (with slight diversions to Doobie Brothers, Gnarls Barkley etc).
It's the quality of the suggestions that concerns ...
Edited ...
Maroon 5 - Move Like Jagger.
(auto-tune pop dross)
Sam Sparrow - Gold & Black
(ffs)
Beverley Knight - Mama Used To Say / Southern Freez
(soul diva singing poor covers)
Climie Fisher - Love Changes Everything
(yawn)
Go West - We Close Our Eyes / Call Me / King Of Wishful Thinking
(three by the same band - dross 80s synth pop!!)
Hall & Oates - Private Eyes / Kiss On My List / Maneater / Out Of Touch / I Can't Go For That Family Man etc
(six suggestions from the same band means it's awkward to say No, No, No, No, No, No ... big-selling, maybe popular, but really just 80s bland soul-pop )
Love Affair - Everlasting Love ... sing-a-longa cheesy soul
Mica Paris - One Temptation ... maybe a smooth, classy number but bland 80s stuff imho
If you're wanting to play for an audience's benefit, they are the final arbiter. Your band members who have the most gigging experience *should* have a feel for what will go down well. Obscurity is the enemy!
Bands should be a team; debate it, put your opinions forward and then you'll have to reach a consensus. Unless you're a pro of course and you're being paid to play what you're told.
If the consensus offends you, vote with your feet. Otherwise, shut up and do your bit for the team, as long as that goes both ways with the rest of the band.
Communication is the key and it's rarely easy.