Random nonsense - weird questions

Emp_Fab

I couldn’t possibly start a new thread every time some trivial question pops up in my remaining brain cells so I thought it might be better to have a thread for random nonsense any of us want answers to.

First query of the thread;  Am I the only one who, when eating toast, often ends up with this shape;



....and automatically starts humming this in their head ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQwHb1pWPE

breakstuff

Wibble. 

breakstuff

That's just your toast subconsciously telling you you'll eventually find your ideal car somewhere in the Manchester area. 

SouthpawMark

Follow the direction of the arrow and buy the first car you see. 

thecolourbox

Emp_Fab said:

I couldn’t possibly start a new thread every time some trivial question pops up in my remaining brain cells so I thought it might be better to have a thread for random nonsense any of us want answers to.

First query of the thread;  Am I the only one who, when eating toast, often ends up with this shape;



....and automatically starts humming this in their head ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQwHb1pWPE

Why didn't you spread whatever the brown stuff is all over the toast?

Sesh

Breakfast means breakfast.

VimFuego

jeez, he can't even finish his toast!!!

Sassafras

No, but you're probably the only one that smears shit on his toast.

Emp_Fab

So....  Does anyone else stand in the garden, pissed, and look up at the night sky and the twinkling constellations and wonder about the generations that have come and gone and gazed upon the very same constellations ?

I often do it (well, as often as the Welsh weather will permit!).  I think about the ancient mariners making their way across the Mediterranean using the stars to navigate.  The worried man in an ancient English village, who has drunk himself into a similar state as I, worrying about a family problem.  

Countless others over millennia who have stared up at the same stars as I look at tonight.

It makes me feel simultaneously part of something magnificent and yet utterly insignificant.

RandallFlagg

It's a subconscious mirroring of the size and shape of your penis.

chillidoggy

Presumably you dropped that bit of toast because it looks suspiciously like white oak laminate flooring to me.

viz

chillidoggy said:

Presumably you dropped that bit of toast because it looks suspiciously like white oak laminate flooring to me.

Cheap laminate flooring too, judging by the orientation of the toast. 

Mudcrutch

https://youtu.be/hX8I4Etixic

chillidoggy

viz said:

chillidoggy said:

Presumably you dropped that bit of toast because it looks suspiciously like white oak laminate flooring to me.

Cheap laminate flooring too, judging by the orientation of the toast. 

Indeed not.

In both cases, the grain looks to be substandard.

merlin

Dad's Army theme = one of the best theme tunes ever.

BluesLover

Next time you're standing in the garden looking at the stars, think of this...

Spread your arms out to your sides, like a plane. Your wingspan is a timeline. Your left fingertip represents the time of the first single-celled life on earth. And your right fingertip is right this minute. Between the two is 3.7 billion years of time, the history of life on earth.

From your left fingertip, all the way up your arm, past your left shoulder, across your chest, and past your right shoulder, life on earth is nothing but bacteria. By the time you reach your right wrist, the most impressive form of life on earth, the king of beasts, is the worm. In the middle of your right palm you finally get your dinosaurs, and they're extinct by your last finger joint.

Run your eyes along that history again so far. All that history, all that life, and still no appearance by the Main Attraction, the species for whom everything is supposedly made - humankind.

So when do humans finally show up at the party? Well it's more than fashionably late. Homo sapiens fits in one fingernail clipping.

Dale McGowan

JerkMoans

Mon ascenseur est plein des anguilles.

Funkfingers

Emp_Fab said: 

Looks like a low budget fæcal immunochemical test kit. Did your result come back positive or negative?

merlin

BluesLover said:

Next time you're standing in the garden looking at the stars, think of this...

Spread your arms out to your sides, like a plane. 

Hold a jar of Vegemite in your left hand and a jar of marmite in your right.... smile. 

Emp_Fab

I love 'Nothing to Declare' type programs....   Watching smugglers' lame stories unravel and change as they are questioned and tests come back positive etc.  Best of all are the Far Eastern travellers trying to enter Australia with suitcases rammed with wombat cocks and pickled snakes' eyeballs then hilariously trying to explain why they signed the declaration that they weren't carrying any foodstuffs.  The melodramatics on camera about how their rights are being infringed and how dare the customs officers  treat them like a common criminal - until they get a body scan and are found to be bursting at the seams with packages of heroin.

I laughed my tits off at a middle-aged Welsh couple, when being asked by the customs guy at Bristol Airport who was pointing at a carrier-bag full of cannabis buds what it was, replied meekly... "Sweets ?".    

drofluf

Emp_Fab said:

I couldn’t possibly start a new thread every time some trivial question pops up in my remaining brain cells so I thought it might be better to have a thread for random nonsense any of us want answers to.

First query of the thread;  Am I the only one who, when eating toast, often ends up with this shape;



....and automatically starts humming this in their head ?

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfQwHb1pWPE

How many times have we told you not to play with your food