My dad died last night.

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  • ZoolooterZoolooter Frets: 431
    My mum died last month and it is difficult to cope with all the things that surround the death of a parent. But, as a few people have said already, take one thing at a time and be ruthless with focusing on the most important things. CAB or similar with all the follow up info they will require needs to be sorted out ASAP.

    Things will improve if you do this.
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  • DiscoStuDiscoStu Frets: 3184
    Sad news and you have my condolence.
    I lost my dad (my hero) many years ago but he and my mother are still alive in my mind and memories so in time I hope yours are too.
    Tough call on your housing but you have sound advice from many sources already and I agree totally that you need to be proactive about this matter.
    In my experience, things always work out. That is based on taking control of situations as and when they arise.
    All the best to you and yours.
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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 657
    rlw said:
    Tenancy can be inherited and most HA will honour this once.  Go to the Shelter website and check that you are covered.  Hopefully you are.
    My dad died in 1977 and I think about him everyday.  You never get over it but it gets better with time.  My thoughts are with you. 

    Thank you to you all for your kind words and advice, it means a lot. I haven't even cried yet I just feel numb.

    The problem I have is the tenancy agreement was inherited by my dad when my mum died so according to the housing officer it can't be inherited again. I'll be phoning around on Monday trying to get as much help as possible, the mental health team should be able to help to some degree.

    Again, thank you to you all you've been a great help.
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  • 57Deluxe57Deluxe Frets: 6739
    condolences
    <Vintage BOSS Upgrades>
    __________________________________
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  • thumpingrugthumpingrug Frets: 1619
    Unfortunately HA are correct,  succession of tenancies is a once only event.

    Go to your GP to get a letter detailing your health problems and get to the council homeless department.

    All the best mate.



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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 657
    Unfortunately HA are correct,  succession of tenancies is a once only event.

    Go to your GP to get a letter detailing your health problems and get to the council homeless department.

    All the best mate.


    I've had a meeting with a housing officer and have been told I can stay in the home until a suitable one bed home becomes available. I have the right to a tenancy just not on the family home but it looks like I'm going to be fine thanks to the very much appreciated help from the princess trust and mental health team. I can breath out and relax now, many thanks to all of you for your advice and support.
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  • BahHumbugBahHumbug Frets: 163
    Sorry for your loss.  It’s great to hear that you have the support, and the strengthen in yourself, to have found a way forward.  Very best wishes to you.
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  • KittyfriskKittyfrisk Frets: 951
    zepp76 said:
    Unfortunately HA are correct,  succession of tenancies is a once only event.

    Go to your GP to get a letter detailing your health problems and get to the council homeless department.

    All the best mate.


    I've had a meeting with a housing officer and have been told I can stay in the home until a suitable one bed home becomes available. I have the right to a tenancy just not on the family home but it looks like I'm going to be fine thanks to the very much appreciated help from the princess trust and mental health team. I can breath out and relax now, many thanks to all of you for your advice and support.
    Great news. Good things can still happen, even in the darkest times.
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  • Mark1960Mark1960 Frets: 232
    Really pleased for you!
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  • NiteflyNitefly Frets: 2636
    Good to hear that, zepp, great news.

    Did anyone bring the petits-fours?
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  • DB1DB1 Frets: 1204
    That's great to hear - kudos to you for getting hold of the situation so quickly. At least it's one (huge) thing less to worry about. All the best to you.
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  • JezWyndJezWynd Frets: 3238
    zepp76 said:
    I've had a meeting with a housing officer and have been told I can stay in the home until a suitable one bed home becomes available. I have the right to a tenancy just not on the family home but it looks like I'm going to be fine thanks to the very much appreciated help from the princess trust and mental health team. I can breath out and relax now, many thanks to all of you for your advice and support.
    That's great news, takes a lot of stress out of the situation.
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  • VimFuegoVimFuego Frets: 7620
    really glad to hear that zepp, you needed to catch a break.

    I'm not locked in here with you, you are locked in here with me.

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  • JalapenoJalapeno Frets: 3860
    Excellent news ! Now focus on your losing Dad, it's equally as important that you resolve all of that too !

    Imagine something sharp and witty here ......

    Feedback
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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 657
    Jalapeno said:
    Excellent news ! Now focus on your losing Dad, it's equally as important that you resolve all of that too !

    Yes you're right I haven't really mourned the loss of my dad since all this happened. He is being cremated on Thursday and myself and my brother are going down to Devon to spread his ashes, it'll give us time to connect again as we've had a bit of a strained relationship.
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  • guitars4youguitars4you Frets: 5744
    tFB Trader
    JezWynd said:
    zepp76 said:
    I've had a meeting with a housing officer and have been told I can stay in the home until a suitable one bed home becomes available. I have the right to a tenancy just not on the family home but it looks like I'm going to be fine thanks to the very much appreciated help from the princess trust and mental health team. I can breath out and relax now, many thanks to all of you for your advice and support.
    That's great news, takes a lot of stress out of the situation.
    agree - Best wishes
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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 657
    Some more good news from a meeting with the housing officer today, I have been successful in my application to the rights to inherit the tenancy from my dad. It gives me the right to stay here indefinitely until I/ they find me a one bedroom home. I was also successful in my application to be put on the housing list and have been put on the high priority list due to my mental health and also because I would be giving up a three bedroom house for a one bedroom place. I don't have to worry about rent until they sort out the tenancy transfer, giving me a bit of breathing space. I doff my hat to the housing officer and lady from the Princess trust, they have been nothing but amazing during this hard time. And thank you again to you all for your help and support, I love this place, I truly do!
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  • ICBMICBM Frets: 39647
    Sorry for your loss, and glad to hear the house situation is safe for now.

    This may seem rather cold advice currently, and it will probably be emotionally difficult, but make a start on clearing your dad's things as soon as you can, so that when your new house becomes available you don't have to rush to do it all at the last minute. It's amazing how much there is to go through and it's even worse to have to deal with it under pressure. When we had to clear my mother-in-law's house - which was only a little 2-bed one - it was shocking how much work it was.

    "Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone." - Walt Kowalski

    "Just because I don't care, doesn't mean I don't understand." - Homer Simpson

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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 657
    ICBM said:
    Sorry for your loss, and glad to hear the house situation is safe for now.

    This may seem rather cold advice currently, and it will probably be emotionally difficult, but make a start on clearing your dad's things as soon as you can, so that when your new house becomes available you don't have to rush to do it all at the last minute. It's amazing how much there is to go through and it's even worse to have to deal with it under pressure. When we had to clear my mother-in-law's house - which was only a little 2-bed one - it was shocking how much work it was.
    Hi @ICBM Thank you for your reply and advice, I have pretty much cleared out dad's stuff already it's just his bedroom I have to do now which I just can't bring myself to go into just yet. I know it has to be done but I need to just take a break from the clearing and try to come to terms with the loss which really hits me hard when I see his room. I'm pretty much on top of everything else.
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  • zepp76 said:
    Unfortunately HA are correct,  succession of tenancies is a once only event.

    Go to your GP to get a letter detailing your health problems and get to the council homeless department.

    All the best mate.


    I've had a meeting with a housing officer and have been told I can stay in the home until a suitable one bed home becomes available. I have the right to a tenancy just not on the family home but it looks like I'm going to be fine thanks to the very much appreciated help from the princess trust and mental health team. I can breath out and relax now, many thanks to all of you for your advice and support.

    Many condolences, and well done for getting through the more practical issues. 

    Good little support network on this forum - it's helped me more than I ever thought it could. Hope things start looking up for you soon. 
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  • zepp76zepp76 Frets: 657
    zepp76 said:
    Unfortunately HA are correct,  succession of tenancies is a once only event.

    Go to your GP to get a letter detailing your health problems and get to the council homeless department.

    All the best mate.


    I've had a meeting with a housing officer and have been told I can stay in the home until a suitable one bed home becomes available. I have the right to a tenancy just not on the family home but it looks like I'm going to be fine thanks to the very much appreciated help from the princess trust and mental health team. I can breath out and relax now, many thanks to all of you for your advice and support.

    Many condolences, and well done for getting through the more practical issues. 

    Good little support network on this forum - it's helped me more than I ever thought it could. Hope things start looking up for you soon. 
    Thank you, it really has helped having the kind words and advice of the forum. You have all been great, I can't thank you all enough.
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  • EricTheWearyEricTheWeary Frets: 8277
    Good news about the house. 

    We are starting to sort out my mother's house ( she's gone into a care home ) and it's a big bit of work so as has been said do a bit as often as you can. 
    Who invaded Spain in the eight century?
    The Moops.
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  • RockerRocker Frets: 3262
    Many condolences my friend and well done on the work you have got through so far.
    Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. [Albert Einstein]

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  • JalapenoJalapeno Frets: 3860
    Great news on the house !   Just cleared my late Dad's place - in the end we got the Red Cross to do it, and they took a lot of the furniture to clean/resell.
    Imagine something sharp and witty here ......

    Feedback
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  • My condolences, I'm so sorry, I too am thinking about my father, he's been in hospital for 3 weeks and is 80 with diabetes and is having his leg amputated today, he's known for half a week now he was going to lose his leg.. Found out yesterday that was today, requested no visitors today to recover from the operation; it's a general anesthetic, am a little worried.
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  • LesbianWithAGunLesbianWithAGun Frets: 514
    edited August 6
    zepp76 said:
    As title, my dad passed away yesterday evening. After nearly 15 years of being his sole carer I am devastated. I am now staring at homelessness as the housing association will repossess the house that we have lived in for over 20 years. I don't know where to turn with all this happening, dark times ahead.
    Alright, first of all, don't panic... you've got to arrange a funeral if there isn't one in place... I hear a cremation is the cheaper of the two options between burying and cremating that most funeral homes offer... £995.00 for a dignified funeral from simplicity.co.uk... sorry for your loss.
    As for housing... If you're not already, get on to universal credit. You can apply for housing too...
    It's way better than nothing.
    Do that asap, I'm sorry, but, you've got to do a lot of stuff legally to tie up your father like the tell all scheme and, if you haven't already, and he was getting any state pension or anything like that, any state payments, annouce his death.
    It's like £10.00 for a death certificate from a hospital if he passed at one...
    You're going to need to have a funeral in place to release the body.
    You'd need the death certificate to take to the funeral home who will collect the body....

    And never forget, people were lucky enough to know him, you, are even luckier, you get to be descended from him!. Sorry for your loss there brutha.
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  • stephen.wood125stephen.wood125 Frets: 146
    edited August 6
    So sorry for your loss, my dad died last September and I had to sort all of the estate out. As you mentioned earlier in the thread, I only really started grieving for him June this year when the house was sold etc.

    I'm made up for you that you got a sympathetic housing officer and got to keep the house even if temporarily.

    It seems like this place is fantastic support once you're known here. I know I'm just a stranger, but if you ever wanted to talk or just vent, then PM me.

    Best wishes mate.

    Stephen
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