Black Tie events...last minute shopping

thecolourbox

The company I work for decided to book a table at a Black tie event thing which is this Thursday, without actually asking how many of our small office actually wanted to or were able to go. As such we've been pressured into it a bit but as there's free booze, free food, and "entertainment" I thought why not give it a go, might be fun.

Then I googled what black tie actually meant, and unfortunately the only item within the dress code I own is a black dinner jacket from my prom (which was 16 years ago, still fits!) which is actually fairly nice but which also does not colour match with any of the trousers I've tried today (Slaters, Tyrwhitt, Moss). I thought I had a suitable shirt but unfortunately I can't do the collar up (see size issue annoyance below).

So essentially I need:

1. Either trousers that match (god knows where from, will just be luck of the draw) or an entirely new suit, but the cheap ones I've seen in Slater look rather like school uniform level of niceness.
2. Shirt - easy enough, seen them from as low as £14 up to £30 so no problem there
3. Shoes - patent or velvet slipper type? Again, shouldn't be too hard although extravagant for one night
4. Bow tie. easy, cheap enough

Problems:
a) Sizing. If i buy trousers that fit on the waist they are too tight on leg. And vice versa. If i buy a shirt I can do up on the neck, it's a tent on the body and hangs horribly. And vice versa. Due to my waist:legsize and collar:bodysize ratios, slim fit generally looks like a struggle.
b) colour matching what I have is tricky, but am lothe to throw away what I already have and spunk £100+ on a worse looking plastic suit, or pay what it costs for a nice one (£300 is the cheapest nice one I've seen today)
c) It's in four days time
d) I'm usually rather good at avoiding these things so the old "it'll come in every time you need one" argument is not very strong. The last time I wore one was my prom aged 16...

Any suggestions before I just feign a migraine attack and don't go? It's just that a free event that is now looking like costing me £200 does not seem like that great a deal. I looked at hiring but Moss hires still seem steep for one night unless you get the terrible fitting own brand stuff

Where's mr Gok Wan @snap as I'm sure he'll have advice to offer?

Thanks
Matt

fretmeister

Just rent one or don't go.

Do not go in a mix and match hand me down outfit. You'll look like a tool.

ronnyb

Too late for ebay. For a one off try the charity shops there'll be loads of dinner suits many hardly worn. I went to a similar 'do' never been to one before, got a Marks and Spencer's dinner suit virtually brand new £15. Cheap white shirt and dickie bow tie, again the charity shops are full of them. 

thecolourbox

fretmeister said:

Just rent one or don't go.

Do not go in a mix and match hand me down outfit. You'll look like a tool.

Probably true I suppose. The irony being that everybody in there will actually be a tool (it's a property industry do), whereas I would just look like one. Perhaps worth it for the irony but hopefully a minor illness takes hold tomorrow or Wednesday

ronnyb said:

Too late for ebay. For a one off try the charity shops there'll be loads of dinner suits many hardly worn. I went to a similar 'do' never been to one before, got a Marks and Spencer's dinner suit virtually brand new £15. Cheap white shirt and dickie bow tie, again the charity shops are full of them. 

There's only a couple here in Birmingham city centre unfortunately and they didn't have anything. eBay wouldn't have worked even if I had time due to the sizing issues unless I was incredibly lucky and found somebody nearby selling one.

munckee

M&S do slim fit shirts, I have the same issue with a 16.5 inch neck and I'm medium build, 16.5 inch neck shirts are made for people who are 20 stone for some reasons, the slim fit ones fit much better.

They also do a cheap dinner suit, I had one for a ball once, it wasn't the best suit ever but it was alright didn't look embarassingly rubbish, was about £60 I think.

King85

Primark do a tuxedo that a friend had bought for a wedding we were going to that was black tie, it both looked better and cost less than my rental so I'd go check there if there's one accessible to you.

Snags

As mentioned, try a rental.

Failing that, I got a perfectly servicable DJ from M&S for about £100 (jacket/trousers to match). It's not a proper DJ set because it doesn't have the stripe on the trousers, but it was cheap and for work-related stuff where 99% of the attendees don't even know the difference between black tie and smart casual.

You'll need to get a half-decent dress shirt too, if you don't have one, and obviously a bow tie (although again, at the last formal black tie I went to, an IOD awards ceremony no less, about 40% of the guests didn't appear to realise that "any old tie you have lying around" wasn't technically within the remit of black tie. So frankly, it may not be worth bothering ...).

Funkfingers

thecolourbox said:

The company I work for decided to book a table at a Black tie event thing which is this Thursday, without actually asking how many of our small office actually wanted to or were able to go. 

That is their own stupid fault, then.

thecolourbox said:

we've been pressured into it a bit but as there's free booze, free food, and "entertainment" I thought why not give it a go, might be fun.

Is there any real purpose to the occasion? If not, all invitees should feel free to politely decline. 

As a lifelong skeptic, I would be wondering why my employer is suddenly being nice to its staff? Proverbially, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

thecolourbox said:

pay what it costs for a nice [suit] (£300 is the cheapest nice one I've seen today)

A proper suit costs over a grand. 

thecolourbox said:
I'm usually rather good at avoiding these things ... Any suggestions before I just feign a migraine attack and don't go? 

Conspire with your wife and/or children to have a small "emergency" at home.

thecolourbox

Funkfingers said:

thecolourbox said:

The company I work for decided to book a table at a Black tie event thing which is this Thursday, without actually asking how many of our small office actually wanted to or were able to go. 

That is their own stupid fault, then.

thecolourbox said:

we've been pressured into it a bit but as there's free booze, free food, and "entertainment" I thought why not give it a go, might be fun.

Is there any real purpose to the occasion? If not, all invitees should feel free to politely decline. 

As a lifelong skeptic, I would be wondering why my employer is suddenly being nice to its staff? Proverbially, there is no such thing as a free lunch.

thecolourbox said:

pay what it costs for a nice [suit] (£300 is the cheapest nice one I've seen today)

A proper suit costs over a grand. 

thecolourbox said:
I'm usually rather good at avoiding these things ... Any suggestions before I just feign a migraine attack and don't go? 

Conspire with your wife and/or children to have a small "emergency" at home.

It's my new years resolution not to be miserable about things as I always get accused of this kind of negative perception of things, and whilst I still hold that level of cynicism my resolution dictates that I'm not allowed to show it outwardly as this allegedly will open my mind to new things and prove me wrong. 

Which is bollocks, because it's already looking like I either have to spend £200 on one night or I have to straight up lie to 15 colleagues to get out of it

jonnyburgo

Get to Primark and get a cheap tonic suit, nobody is going to give a shit.

Sassafras

Go to an off-licence, buy the booze you would've drunk free of charge at the black tie do and stay at home. It'll work out cheaper than buying or renting a suit for a one off night out.

Funkfingers

thecolourbox said:
it's a property industry do ... I have to straight up lie to 15 colleagues to get out of it

Bare faced lying is normal for that industry. Think of this as a practice session.

A former colleague at a company for whom we both no longer work advanced into middle management because he sincerely believed his own lies. (In many industries, this is a genuinely useful skill to possess.)

munckee

Sassafras said:

Go to an off-licence, buy the booze you would've drunk free of charge at the black tie do and stay at home. It'll work out cheaper than buying or renting a suit for a one off night out.

Plus you are less likely to make an ar5e of yourself or punch your boss or attempt to hump them. 

thecolourbox

munckee said:

M&S

Snags said:

M&S 

I might try it quickly after work but I wouldn't wear their shirts if I can help it, even slim fit shirts there contain a "belly pouch" which means they don't suit the big shouldered small waisted folks such as I. Also I'd resent paying them £100 for their plastic suit to be honest, that's the trouble, I'm too image conscious perhaps but there are better cheap ones around than theirs I think.

King85 said:

Primark .

jonnyburgo said:

Primark 

Again, might try it (Birmingham has the world's biggest Primark) but I'm usually quite unwilling to give them money due to a (probably quite hypocritical) concern about their supply chain etc. Probably based on rubbish prejudice but who knows

LuttiS

I had to attend a last minute one a while ago, Asda was my friend that day. It was a cheap suit and it felt cheap, but stood next to expensive ones (unless everyone secretly went to Asda) there was little difference. 

I think it honestly cost me under £30... (was a few years ago now)

I did already have a white shirt and i had black shoes.. 

So listen to all the get to primark/charity/large supermarket posts..

Keiko

Hire a tuxedo, or just refuse to go. No way I would buy one just for a work night out.

I think you should always have a suit in your wardrobe for the inevitable funerals and weddings that life throws at you. But a black tie tuxedo and a suit for a wedding are two different things.

Snags

thecolourbox said:

munckee said:

M&S

Snags said:

M&S 

I might try it quickly after work but I wouldn't wear their shirts if I can help it, even slim fit shirts there contain a "belly pouch" which means they don't suit the big shouldered small waisted folks such as I. Also I'd resent paying them £100 for their plastic suit to be honest, that's the trouble, I'm too image conscious perhaps but there are better cheap ones around than theirs I think.

Well you have a choice, don't you: get a really nice proper DJ which will cost heavy money, look the bollocks, but not be available in time, will only get used once, and will not be appreciated by anyone else at the event. Or get a cheapo one which is actually more than adequate, and swallow your pride.

My regular suit (very rarely worn these days) is a proper one, from an old-fashioned gents outfitters now long since gone bust, that was bought when I got married <cough> years ago. My old DJ was previously my dad's (!) and is in fine fettle, but no longer fits my adult frame, and that too was super posh. The M&S one ... got praised for looking really nice, and passed muster in front of 200 people at a client do, where maybe one person actually knew what dress codes meant, and he turned up in a polo neck anyway because he hates suits (and he owned the company).

Sometimes you have to pick which hill is worth dying on.

thecolourbox

Keiko said:

Hire a tuxedo, or just refuse to go. No way I would buy one just for a work night out.

I think you should always have a suit in your wardrobe for the inevitable funerals and weddings that life throws at you. But a black tie tuxedo and a suit for a wedding are two different things.

There's only Slater here who hire them out and they are not very nice, I did ask about that but may as well buy a cheap one as hire it. I have plenty of suits just never needed a dinner jacket before apart from high school prom, the only weddings I'll need to go to are family (no friends lol) and my sister already got married a few years ago so thankfully I've no worries there either.

thecolourbox

Cheers all for the input. I think my best tactic will be check out the cheapy plastic ones as best I can, but get decent shoes and a decent shirt as I'll be able to wear those again elsewhere.

The Mrs has chimed in to remind me I apparently have a nice blue jacket with a fancy lapel that "looks the same as the black one", I'm not convinced it does btu I'll try it later. It is actually a suit but the trousers are slim fit so don't look great, but a quick Google search suggests a blue jacket with black trousers is a potential thing... fingers crossed as that'll make it easier and I can just chuck out the black one I've got as it's useless.

SouthpawMark

For hire I’d recommend Yardsmen. They have a shop in London (near Waterloo station) but will also send stuff out. Not the cheapest, but far better quality than Slaters or Moss Bros, which are always shockingly poor. 

ESBlonde

From time to time the likes of George(Asda) or a big Tesco have cheap DJ suits for about £60-75. Thats less than a hire and not much more than a dry cleaning for a suit.

They don't always have them in stock. They might not have your size/combination. They are cheap and don't match up to the £300-600 real deal, they are thin not fully lined.

But they work well enough, and you can get 2-3 wears out of them and won't cry if you fall over and tear the knees out, or some pillock chucks up over your back.