How do you deal with weird punters

WiresDreamDisasters

Did a gig in Romford years ago. Woman stood in front when I was packing up. Just kept shouting "arse raper" at me for about 30minutes. Fun times. Did a gig in Sheffield. Guy buys everyone in the audience (about 30 people above a pub) a shot, and forces me to drink it whilst I'm in the middle of a solo. Was mega rock n roll like.

p90fool

WiresDreamDisasters said:

p90fool said:

They just do it to impress their mates, which evaporates when I punch them in the throat. 

Things that never happened!

One punch to the throat, three punches to the face, all at different gigs, all during Royal Welsh Show week over the last four years or so. 

It really is like the wild west, when a town of 2,500 is invaded by 400,000 farmers who've been saving up all year to be utter cunts in front of their mates. That's like the entire population of Leeds getting absolutely fucking hammered and arriving in a sleepy village all at once.

We still do the big stages there occasionally, but not the pub gigs. Load in/out is dangerous and you can't park anywhere near, then when you do get to your car there are sometimes six lads sitting on the roof stamping on the bonnet, while two useless coppers just watch. 

Believe me, the metal scene is just nerdy boys in comparison, hundreds of local families just lock everything up and leave town for the week, there's usually a death or two, an uncountable and unreported number of rapes of usually underage girls, travellers in all the pubs lacing girls' drinks, and fight after fight after fight. 

We can earn a grand each that week, but have just given it up, at least two of us in the band will end up in jail otherwise.  

I've gigged three times at Francofolies in La Rochelle which is similarly lairy, but at least there they have cops with automatic weapons and CRS baton charges. 

So yes Drew, it happened. 

WiresDreamDisasters

p90fool said:

WiresDreamDisasters said:

p90fool said:

They just do it to impress their mates, which evaporates when I punch them in the throat. 

Things that never happened!

One punch to the throat, three punches to the face, all at different gigs, all during Royal Welsh Show week over the last four years or so. 

It really is like the wild west, when a town of 2,500 is invaded by 400,000 farmers who've been saving up all year to be utter cunts in front of their mates. That's like the entire population of Leeds getting absolutely fucking hammered and arriving in a sleepy village all at once.

We still do the big stages there occasionally, but not the pub gigs. Load in/out is dangerous and you can't park anywhere near, then when you do get to your car there are sometimes six lads sitting on the roof stamping on the bonnet, while two useless coppers just watch. 

Believe me, the metal scene is just nerdy boys in comparison, hundreds of local families just lock everything up and leave town for the week, there's usually a death or two, an uncountable and unreported number of rapes of usually underage girls, travellers in all the pubs lacing girls' drinks, and fight after fight after fight. 

We can earn a grand each that week, but have just given it up, at least two of us in the band will end up in jail otherwise.  

I've gigged three times at Francofolies in La Rochelle which is similarly lairy, but at least there they have cops with automatic weapons and CRS baton charges. 

So yes Drew, it happened. 

Sounds scary. I'm glad I live in London.

vasselmeyer

I have found that the pointy bit of a PRS headstock which "accidentally" finds the ribs of someone hassling our singer is really quite effective. Also, she takes no shit off anyone, her hubby is usually in the audience and the bass play and I are quite watchful of pissheads in the audience. Generally a couple of hefty monitors, even if we're on in-ears and the monitors aren't running, tend to form a physical barrier for stage invaders.

mudslide73

kennedydream1980 said:

The singer in my band is really adept at dealing with folk like this.

He either ignores them as once they realise they aren’t getting any kind of reaction they will walk away. Or if he feels they are invading his space/standing too close he will shove them forcefully away. That’s normally enough to stop this sort of behaviour in its tracks.

It probably helps that he’s 6ft 3 and about 19 stone. 

We have a similar thing where 3 of us are big blokes and our singer is 6'8" . We still had some weirdness on Saturday but nothing violent. Some great "emotional" dancing from the local over 40s women too.. ahem. I think people just get more pissed now than when I was out drinking, or maybe because I'm sober I notice it more.

I feel safer now I'm playing a Tele too.

Fez

@p90fool ;Sounds like you need Blues brother style chain link to protect you during Farmers frolic week. We are usually ok with monitors & lights also our female singer plays some sax so has a music stand and tray of percussion stuff. Our male singer is tall so can loom over anyone misbehaving. 
Last week we had a couple of drunk lads dancing from the off which was OK but towards the end of the second half they kept shouting for Wonderwall (we don't do Oasis don't think even I can sing that flat though I might qualify as having a Manchester accent ish). They also were shouting for Rock and Roll. We figured they weren't going to make the second set (when we play some R'n R) as they were well & truly hammered by this time so we played Route 66 which seemed to please them.
Sure enough when we went back on after the break they had disappeared.

Grunfeld

p90fool said:

One punch to the throat, three punches to the face, all at different gigs, all during Royal Welsh Show week over the last four years or so....

I've just been in that neck of the woods, left there yesterday, saw the signs advertising the RWS... looks like I got away just in time!

WiresDreamDisasters said:

Did a gig in Romford years ago. Woman stood in front when I was packing up. Just kept shouting "arse raper" at me for about 30minutes...

Except [checks tonight's gig], I kid you not I'm playing in Romford tonight... :-/

menamestom

I find the best way is to be assertive and stand your ground if somebody crosses the line and invades your space.  

Punching somebody in the throat in Manchester would result in death of the entire band in some venues, so picking a fight is not always an option.  That said we've turned down gigs at some venues because of the clientele, it's nice that some venues want to get back to live music, but they need to do more to get rid of the coked up gangstas than have us play in an attempt to drive them out.   

newi123

@fastonebaz ;

Knowing you guys gig in and around Swindon (and I still haven`t been out to see you - sorry), I guess you`ll get used to it pretty soon! :-)

First time I met our (male) singer he was depping for another band in the Chalet. Quite a quiet night, but there was a couple in there who were obviously high as a kite......... soon as they started she was top off and shaking her stuff about a foot away from Nick. Quite attractive, apart from the fact that whatever habit she had had claimed a few of her teeth. Our drummer, me and Nick`s wife who were all watching found it hilarious......... bar staff dealt with it fairly quickly.

Gigging in the pop band with female vocals we haven`t had any serious issues - the girls are quite good at making light of most situations and telling people if there`s a real issue. In many ways its less confrontational coming from them rather than me or the drummer.

Only issue we had was actually out in a middle class pub in the sticks with the all male rock band. Few lads got a bit stupid and were bumping and pushing the girls and partners who were dancing. Nick left the stage area and told them in no uncertain terms to stop. After the gig the landlord pointed out that a couple of them were `waiting for us outside`. We pointed out that our drummer is a 6 5 heavily built welsh guy, and the bass player at the time was a serving Marine. Nick and I would be happy to clear up any mess afterwards. They`d gone by the time we loaded out.

So far no blows struck from either side in either band.

But we do have a gig booked in the Valleys in the autumn (drummers old haunt) where we will apparently need chicken wire. Lets see.

octatonic

I find being sexually aggressive towards them works as a deterrent.

Teyeplayer

I think our mellow Americana is clearly working just right at the (very) other end of the spectrum based upon these stories. We did one particularly hippy festival, where two ladies on the front row preceded to remove their tops and to massage each other topless during our set (this was the first song and we couldn’t believe it, but it definitely happened). Our keyboardist was sat too far back to see off the stage and couldn’t work out why the singer and I kept shooting him the ‘wtf?’ glance.

robinbowes

fastonebaz said:

Our singer : 

By "Our singer" do you mean "me having a wank"?

fastonebaz

newi123 said:

@fastonebaz ;

Knowing you guys gig in and around Swindon (and I still haven`t been out to see you - sorry), I guess you`ll get used to it pretty soon! :-)

First time I met our (male) singer he was depping for another band in the Chalet. Quite a quiet night, but there was a couple in there who were obviously high as a kite......... soon as they started she was top off and shaking her stuff about a foot away from Nick. Quite attractive, apart from the fact that whatever habit she had had claimed a few of her teeth. Our drummer, me and Nick`s wife who were all watching found it hilarious......... bar staff dealt with it fairly quickly.

Gigging in the pop band with female vocals we haven`t had any serious issues - the girls are quite good at making light of most situations and telling people if there`s a real issue. In many ways its less confrontational coming from them rather than me or the drummer.

Only issue we had was actually out in a middle class pub in the sticks with the all male rock band. Few lads got a bit stupid and were bumping and pushing the girls and partners who were dancing. Nick left the stage area and told them in no uncertain terms to stop. After the gig the landlord pointed out that a couple of them were `waiting for us outside`. We pointed out that our drummer is a 6 5 heavily built welsh guy, and the bass player at the time was a serving Marine. Nick and I would be happy to clear up any mess afterwards. They`d gone by the time we loaded out.

So far no blows struck from either side in either band.

But we do have a gig booked in the Valleys in the autumn (drummers old haunt) where we will apparently need chicken wire. Lets see.

Ooh what band are you in then? 

newi123

I play in rorkes drift (rock) and toxic (pop) and also help run the jam at the regent every wed. Be nice to see you down there........ :-)

fastonebaz

newi123 said:

I play in rorkes drift (rock) and toxic (pop) and also help run the jam at the regent every wed. Be nice to see you down there........ :-)

Ah I know them. Cool I'll keep an eye out.  

Gulliver

Played a covers gig in Guildford, where a drunk punter decided to moon the band.   But didn't just drop his trousers, he properly pulled apart his cheeks - a real pro move.   I nearly balls-ed up the end of the song because I was laughing so much.

I played a blues gig in Nantwich, where some guy had been drinking all day, and decided to get up on stage while I was mid-solo and started dancing.  Fine I guess.  Then he put his arm round me.  Less OK, but I carried on.   Then he decided since his left arm was around me, he needed to do something with his right hand.   Down his trousers it went...    I've not been back!

darthed1981

p90fool said:

The bass player and I are extremely protective of our singers, and can't figure out why the creeps are so surprised when we slap down any dickishness. 

Quite right too.

The idea that someone being paid to entertain you and possessing physical attractiveness makes them a target for every bit of foul behaviour you can think of after a few pints is the kind of thing that DESERVES a punch.

Their mates should pick them up, tell them "actually mate, you were being a dick, leave it" and that's the end of it.

Sadly, being a tribal animal after a few pints is one thing certain groups are way too fond of.

p90fool

darthed1981 said:

p90fool said:

The bass player and I are extremely protective of our singers, and can't figure out why the creeps are so surprised when we slap down any dickishness. 

Quite right too.

The idea that someone being paid to entertain you and possessing physical attractiveness makes them a target for every bit of foul behaviour you can think of after a few pints is the kind of thing that DESERVES a punch.

Their mates should pick them up, tell them "actually mate, you were being a dick, leave it" and that's the end of it.

Sadly, being a tribal animal after a few pints is one thing certain groups are way too fond of.

To be fair, a raised eyebrow appeal to the mates of the dickhead is always my first response, and 9 times out of 10 is enough.

Even with pretty rowdy groups of lads there's often one who is a little more mature, the "come on guys, that's enough" type, often the designated driver. 

Compared to the alcohol consumed and the number of dickheads in the world, real trouble is still surprisingly rare tbh.