Annoying corporate speak alternatives

Jalapeno

The revert thing is an American/Indian invention I think

Kittyfrisk

Stakeholder. 
Imagineer. 
Convergence.
Incubate.
Mutual headspace.

All the rest I think I have blocked out of my memory to preserve what remains of my sanity.
I didn't work in Business, but Higher Education 

FX_Munkee

Reverend

Here we often have to leverage learnings. 

LuttiS

I hate it when people ping me an email..

Reverend

LuttiS said:

I hate it when people ping me an email..

I'm still okay to use sonar to locate you though, right?

57Deluxe

Blue Sky boarding = a meeting to drum up something to do when all are clueless...

Paradigm = always sounds like a pain killer for Period pains

Kick-Off = an off-site party/piss-up /extravagant waste of money to launch corporate propaganda for the period ahead

Philtre

Have we had "Inbox me" yet?

Jalapeno

Ideation - thinking and telling others what you thought

Sassafras

prowla said:

intonated

It's just a shame Gibson have never heard of that one.

RandallFlagg

Don't forget "socialise" as in "we need to socialise this with the stakeholders"

rawk100

Only this morning I’ve had “mega-trend” and “in our gift” used in a meeting....

..bloody load of old bollocks!

Musicwolf

LightB4sound said:
On your radar (clue not working on a submarine)

Wouldn't that be 'sonar'?  Oh, is that my coat?  Thanks.

Dominic

or the awful call center ........" Is there any thing else I can do for yourself ? "
........where does the ...self bit come from ?
It makes me want to break into the broadest Irish brogue in response .....
" Well to be sure , top o' the morning ,Jesus now , Dare's a ting . hello Francis ,is that yourself ? wit de lads going to the Craic
Dis ,Dat ,dese,Dose .......for dat's de way de TH goes "
 And even worse than silly corporate speak .......a million and one text type Acronyms that I have no idea what they mean !

PolarityMan

I think for a lot of these the problem is inappropriate or over-use rather than the phrase itself. Used correctly in context I don't really have an issue with many of them. 

Of course if someone trots out one of those every 3rd word for a half hour meeting...that's a totally different story. 

springhead

"Let's pop it in the mental microwave and see what cooks"

historyisjunk

springhead said:

"Let's pop it in the mental microwave and see what cooks"

A mental TV dinner perhaps?

Kebabkid

I think we should take this 'Offline'.

What is the caveat for this?

rawk100

Wolfetone said:

1. Best in ass
2. Vulva add
3. Gay changer
4. Action man
5. On the same rage
6. Game pie
7. Thoughtless leadership
8. Shitstorm
9. What’s the point
10. Orgasmic growth
11. Muff dive
12. Customer cuntric 
13. In the poopline 
14. Hit the ground heavily 
15. Moving farts
16. Handcuffed to the table
17. Bang for your fuck
18. Lazy focused
19. Move the noodle
20. Shit In the driver's seat
21. Goatkeeper 
22. Low hanging boobs
23. Lean in to one side 
24. Jump shit
25. Results drivel
26. Get your Flesh out
27. Up the shitter
28. Balls and whistles
29. All hands on tits
30. Poop in
31. Nuts and bollocks
32. Smeg and mingers
33. Dress down
34. Back to the ironing board
35. Actung item
36. Window of poopportunity
37. Out of the poop
38. Pain in the arse point
39. Think outside the wife’s box
40. Reinvent the smell

  

Load of old bollocks if you ask me....

HerrMetal

Agile. Or in other words do any old shite in a completely out of control way.