Do you play what you like, or learn to like what you play

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  • Thanks, but it's not from a bad week, it just is how I feel always. I should stop bothering it on here.

    Sorry all
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • FreebirdFreebird Frets: 5821
    Why don't you find a singer who can sing higher?
    If we are not ashamed to think it, we should not be ashamed to say it.
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  • Although changing your avatar is always a good start. 


    I kinda think that if you can’t make a noise that your happy with by yourself and can’t see an end to it with whatever work you put in maybe go back to the idea of working with others. I don’t think that has to be playing Mustang Sally down the pub. 
    Tipton is a small fishing village in the borough of Sandwell. 
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  • Freebird said:
    Why don't you find a singer who can sing higher?
    Not really no, don't really have the personality to do it and largely I only pay at home when I get time so unlikely to work
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • steven70steven70 Frets: 1262
    edited November 2019
    Bloody hell, in terms of negativity, you're worse than I am!

    You could just knock it on the head (I mean the music)- but I suspect that is not the answer.

    Only other thing I can suggest, for a while, just carry on and accept that it won't be enjoyable or rewarding. Set a time limit and treat the thing like a physical exercise. No expectations. Do this for a month or so and if you are still frustrated then you can consider packing it in. 





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  • Paul7926Paul7926 Frets: 227
    I may be way off here so ignore me if I am.

    I'm only just really starting on the guitar so OP has me well beat on technical ability.  I can't sing at all so OP has me beat there as well.  I grew up listening to 80's metal (must buy that Ibanez/ESP soon!)  My spotify playlist is rammed with Metallica, AC/DC and similar stuff.  

    I only play (badly) in my house.  Whatever happens now , because of a medical condition, I'm never going to even do pub covers gigs.  So it's totally unrealistic for me to play the style of music I really prefer to listen to.

    My point is that I'm now OK with that.  I wasn't for a while but being honest there are a lot of things I'll never do in this lifetime that would have been nice.  It's all to late for me to solve England's opening batsman problem.  I can hardly walk these days so pushing for a place in the squad for the next Rugby world cup isn't an option either.  I'm being flippant to illustrate the point but I think it's OK to accept that there are things we are just not cut out to do even if we really wanted to do those things in our dreams.

    I'm still trying to learn to play.  I've switched my playing to start looking at Blues.  I don't have to sing, It's possible to play some nice stuff on just one guitar (I can't but it is possible).  Are millions of people out there doing it better than me?  Yep.  Does that matter if I'm enjoying the time I spend with a guitar in my hands? Nope.

    I understand that OP doesn't like what he is playing now but I think the answer is to look around, try different styles, approaches and try and connect with something that does spark an interest.  Accept that it might not be your first choice of style or direction but that doesn't make it inferior.

    Good luck on the search.
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  • thecolourboxthecolourbox Frets: 9654
    edited December 2019
    Hi mate. A very innteresting viewpoint and valid points all through. I am not able to accept anything like that though, never have been. When I've tried to research how to accept things the general advice is "you just have to accept it" which is not overly helpful when you don't know how.

    I cannot express what I need to express (for myself) through middle of the road apologetic music.

    For example, I thought I'd try an open mic when I have a free evening next Thursday. Asked around on Facebook for recommendations and the only appropriate one that wasn't in a different county is a proper old style acoustic folk one. As in, unplugged, mic hanging above the stage kind of one. Last night I thought...I'll dust the acoustic off, have a run through of some folkish songs, see what I can prep for it. With a bit of lyric googling, sorted a few finger picking ones fairly quickly, nothing mind blowing but sounded ok, came quite natural. Compliment from the Mrs in fact (albeit it was a Game of Thrones song so she might be biased). But I was bored senseless. I could practice singing them more, get a bit more control on the trills and vibrato, whatever, but honestly, it wouldn't sound any better than it did last night to reflect the effort. So I went from mild enthusiasm when picking up the guitar, to afterwards thinking I no longer want to bother going to open mic night because what else could I possible get from it, more than just singing it at home? This despite the fact I'd actually done an decent job of arranging three songs almost off the bat.

    I think realistically, as I don't know how to "just accept stuff", I will have to take "accept" to mean "give up" and try to use something else as catharsis instead

    NB, @paul7926, hope your medical situation improves, or can be controlled to make things easier for you. And re learning times/ability etc, I am sure you'd be able to teach me a thing or two much more than the other way around.
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • Paul7926Paul7926 Frets: 227
    @thecolourbox ;

    Please bear in mind that I'm just some random voice on the internet and my opinion is nothing more than that, a personal opinion.  I do however think I get where you are coming from as I had a similar journey on a totally non music related thing in my life.  After this I'll not post on this thread as we are getting way off topic but I'm more than happy to continue the discussion via PM if you would like to.  If you wouldn't that's cool too.

    Now this is a diversion but I need to set the scene.  

    I used to be a very competitive game player.  It's very Geeky and not cool but I played games, things like 'Magic the Gathering' , 'X-Wing' and even poker for a while.  My entire purpose was to improve, win tournaments, become one of the 'names' in that admittedly small arena of competitive game players.  I would spend a lot of time researching things, practicing and trying to be the best at whatever game I was concentrating on at the time.  Long story short it never happened.  I was never as good as I wanted to be and frankly not as good as some people who only played casually.  Attending tournaments became a horrible experience instead of an enjoyable one.  Never able to perform at the level I demanded of myself I started to hate the games.  Eventually I just gave up playing altogether.  Friends I knew tried to keep me involved but nothing they suggested worked in terms of making me the player I felt I had to be.

    So I just quit playing.  For me, at that point in time, accepting the situation was identical to giving up, just like you mention in your post.

    Fast forward a few years, yes years, and last month an old friend of mine got in contact.  We had not seen each other for a long time and he was attending a local tournament.  He asked if I wanted to go and would lend me all the stuff I needed.  I just had to turn up.  Incidentally he is the local store champion, almost never loses and is better at the game I introduced him to than I ever was.  I decided to go just so we could catch up more than anything.  I didn't have the time to prepare and the game has changed over the years so I gave up on any idea of being competitive.  Again long story short but I got destroyed in the tournament, never winning a game all day.  He was always competing at the top of the standings whilst I was at the bottom so we never had a change to chat either.  By my old criteria the day should have been a complete disaster.  I actually enjoyed it a lot.  Met some great people on the day and had a lot of fun.

    It was an eye opener as I realised that there were positives I could take from playing the game that were not directly connected to what I used to think was the only important thing, winning.  So now I can accept that I'll never be good and still be part of the scene without giving up on it totally.  It's a fundamental change in my perspective of what I want to get out of the experience.  

    Back on track.  I'd urge you to go to that open mike night.  Maybe you will find that whilst you are not driven and passionate about the exact songs you are playing on the night you may gain purpose from seeing people enjoying your playing.  You may meet someone who you end up jamming with and who knows where that might go musically.  You may listen to someone and get caught up in what they are playing.  If you don't go none of that can happen.  If you do go it might not happen anyway but you never know.

    Sometimes 'accepting things' does indeed mean 'giving up' on them, even if that is not a permanent thing.  I honestly believe however a person can 'accept' that their initial motivation and desire can't be achieved but they can change their focus and find a different but no less important way to enjoy whatever it was they were interested in.  

    Whatever the case for you personally and whatever you decide I wish you well.  
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  • MusicwolfMusicwolf Frets: 3627
    We all go through these phases from time to time.

    Over the years I can divide my musical shenanigans into original and covers.  I can subdivide the original stuff into 'solo' and 'band' and both covers and originals can be thought about in terms of studio and live.  It's all different and each category has its merits.

    My solo original material, whilst undoubtedly influenced by the music that I like, sounds nothing like what I set out to achieve - so what?

    When I work within a band the end result sounds nothing like my solo stuff even though I may have written it.  It means compromise on my part but the final product is the better for it.

    Covers - I love to play the music that I like but again, because I'm part of a band, I have to play stuff that other people like and, more to the point, that the audience like.  This means that I need to learn new stuff, sometimes stuff that I've never heard of, and that makes me a better player.  I also actually enjoy playing at lot of this material even though I wouldn't choose to listen to the original recordings for pleasure.  This morning I've been learning some absolute dross for a Christmas gig - but it was most rewarding to master it.
     

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  • Even split for me.

    The guys I play with we tend to do covers of Grunge, Punk and the sort of stuff we were listening to as kids in the 90's but at home i'm happy to noodle away over a 12 bar blues rhythm all night. The fact i'm being forced to learn songs from the Ataris to Rage Against The Machine is helping my overall playing immensely though.

    Variety is as they say, the spice of life! 
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  • I think the examples and analogies people are kindly giving make sense but, as is the penchant of people like me, I just don't feel it applies to my reasons for wanting to play music. I don't do it for the fun, I don't do it because I want to interact with others (prefer not to, and don't really have reliability to dos so), and I don't do it to be impressive or get feedback. I do it because it's the only outlet I have to express a lot of things, to let off steam and try to put into words, tunes or chords what is going through my mind. 

    I've no other way to do this, the closest I came to finding an alternative was when I did a painting course after uni (joys of finishing uni during the financial crash meant there was nothing else to do) but I've no chance to get back into that now. If certain weeks were a theme or project that I didn't feel much for, I'd just do it as they said up until the point of sharing with each other what we'd done, then I'd stay for half an hour or so afterwards while people were cleaning up and "wreck it" back into my style of painting as I was more abstract with it. But that approach doesn't work in my music, as adding big muff and whammy squeals to a cheesy song sounds as crap as it does in theory.

    I think I know which way it's heading anyway
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • Paul7926Paul7926 Frets: 227
    Sticking my oar in again but this is a genuine question.

    You say, about your reasons for playing:

    I don't do it for the fun
    I don't do it because I want to interact with others
    I don't do it to be impressive or get feedback.

    I do it because it's the only outlet I have to express a lot of things, to let off steam and try to put into words, tunes or chords what is going through my mind. 

    Which is fine.  My question then is...

    Does it really matter then if your playing is perhaps not the 'best' example of the genre/style you need to play to express yourself?  Your playing to release those thoughts and feelings, it doesn't have to be commercial, it doesn't have to please an audience.  You're doing it for you.

    Or am I missing the point?  Are you saying that you are not able to express those thought and feelings because you can't translate what is in your head into the required sounds from the guitar and the things you can play don't address  your need to be expressive?

    I don't mean to pry I just think I've gone off on tangents that are no help because I've misunderstood your point.  




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  • In theory it shouldn't matter to me but it does, I don't want to listen to music I don't like myself therefore making such music is tantamount to the same. I do not have the voice (vocally or instrumentally) to do the music I like, I can't put across what I want to through it - what I want to do with it is close to the examples I've given because that's what music I identify with. You can't sing about being miserable, hating everything, frustration, and everything around those kind of feelings in a soft smoochy jazz ballad, without sounding like an ironic tit. But that kind of mushy shite is all I seem to end up with every time I write or play, my voice is pathetically wimpy, my playing just sounds stupid alongside it and even worse being unaccompanied. 

    Add that to my inability to get a set up which works at home without too much volume or too much buzzing hissing and bloody driver updates I'm just fed up with it all. Hence thinking I may as well sack it off
    Please note my communication is not very good, so please be patient with me
    soundcloud.com/thecolourbox-1
    youtube.com/@TheColourboxMusic
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  • Paul7926Paul7926 Frets: 227
    If nothing else it sounds like you may be due a break from it.  I would suggest not doing anything too drastic yet, such as selling everything, and just see how you feel about it in a little while.  That way it's easy enough to come back to.
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  • RolandRoland Frets: 8591
    ...I don't do it for the fun, I don't do it because I want to interact with others (prefer not to, and don't really have reliability to dos so), and I don't do it to be impressive or get feedback. I do it because it's the only outlet I have to express a lot of things, to let off steam and try to put into words, tunes or chords what is going through my mind. 
    I do it because music is fundamental to my existence, and I’m not happy if I don’t play.
    Musicwolf said:

    ... because I'm part of a band ... means that I need to learn new stuff, sometimes stuff that I've never heard of, and that makes me a better player. 
    ... and that’s why I find playing in a covers band so rewarding.

    So, to answer the original question, I do both. As a band we collaborate on choosing our repertoire, and can each veto anything that we actively dislike. We all enjoy stripping back and rebuilding song arrangements, and often I get to write new guitar parts. I enjoy learning songs, and developing new playing styles.
    Tree recycler, and guitarist with  https://www.undercoversband.com/.
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