Last gig on Saturday

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John_AJohn_A Frets: 2885
Did my last gig with the band on Saturday.  Have a lot of other things on at the moment that need to take priority, but after 35 years of gigging it all feels a bit sad :(
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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 2885
    Feels like I’ve  gone from ‘guitarist’ to ‘bloke’. It’s just odd
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  • RolandRoland Frets: 3866
    You’re still a musician though. It’s in your DNA. 
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  • @John_A yep I know how you feel. It’s almost like splitting up with an ex! At our gig on Friday the singer clearly hasn’t bothered learning the Xmas songs in the set and also fluffed up a number we have been playing for 2 years. The rest of the set was pretty poor due to no rehearsal due to different members of the band making excuses. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort I was putting in and left....... very much feeling the change from guitarist to bloke
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  • FuengiFuengi Frets: 1790
    chrisjac2 said:
    @John_A yep I know how you feel. It’s almost like splitting up with an ex! At our gig on Friday the singer clearly hasn’t bothered learning the Xmas songs in the set and also fluffed up a number we have been playing for 2 years. The rest of the set was pretty poor due to no rehearsal due to different members of the band making excuses. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort I was putting in and left....... very much feeling the change from guitarist to bloke

    Was that an instant resignation or a few phone calls yesterday? 
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  • GrunfeldGrunfeld Frets: 3309
    John_A said:
    Feels like I’ve  gone from ‘guitarist’ to ‘bloke’. It’s just odd
    Odd? I bet it is!  I played a gig last night, really enjoyed it and it was just one of those occasions when you reflect that part of your sense of self resides in this daft context of getting up and playing.  It's like every week you get a chance to showcase this special skill you've got.  And if you don't get up on stage... who's to know? 

    It's not really an ego thing in the sense of "showing off" but it might be in the sense of "this is who I am."  And I don't want to over egg the pudding with this.  More like, just acknowledging that this idea of self is there for me too. 


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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 2885
    For me it’s more the fact I miss the feeling of four people playing well together and doing something bigger than the sum of it’s parts.  The fact people enjoyed watching is nice, but secondary for me.

    Here’s a shot taken by the drummer at the last but one gig.


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  • Fuengi said:
    chrisjac2 said:
    @John_A yep I know how you feel. It’s almost like splitting up with an ex! At our gig on Friday the singer clearly hasn’t bothered learning the Xmas songs in the set and also fluffed up a number we have been playing for 2 years. The rest of the set was pretty poor due to no rehearsal due to different members of the band making excuses. I decided it wasn’t worth the effort I was putting in and left....... very much feeling the change from guitarist to bloke

    Was that an instant resignation or a few phone calls yesterday? 
    Everyone was reviewing the gig on the group WhatsApp group. So I just said that there was an imbalance of commitment in the group so I was out and left the WhatsApp group. The other guitarist called me up to go out for a beer on Monday so we will prob go through it then but apparently the singer quit straight after me! I think it’s difficult because we are/ were quite close nit friends.
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  • Danny1969Danny1969 Frets: 4908
    After 35 years of playing gigs I'n not sure I could walk away from it easily .... more like kicking and screaming. It's not just the playing I would miss but also the craic of working with like minded muso's ... the piss taking, the boozy nights.
    For me it's never felt like work. People say you must get fed up of loading and unloading the van and carting all the gear about but as a band you tend to be a well disciplined little army so even that side of things isn't much of a ball ache. 

    Joining the Kate Bush tribute was a good move for me. There's a point where men in their fifties trying to play relevant music  to a pub load of 20 to 30 year olds becomes a bit tricky. I can do the Kate gigs well into my sixties though. I'll just be some old dude dressed in black prowling round the back of the stage and that will look fine in the context of her music. 
    www.2020studios.co.uk 
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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 2885
    Yes, walking away was very hard indeed, and it still is.  Being in a band has been a huge part of my life, and although I now have more time to write and record, it’s not the same
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  • p90foolp90fool Frets: 17621
    Danny1969 said:
    After 35 years of playing gigs I'n not sure I could walk away from it easily .... more like kicking and screaming. It's not just the playing I would miss but also the craic of working with like minded muso's ... the piss taking, the boozy nights.
    For me it's never felt like work. People say you must get fed up of loading and unloading the van and carting all the gear about but as a band you tend to be a well disciplined little army so even that side of things isn't much of a ball ache. 

    Joining the Kate Bush tribute was a good move for me. There's a point where men in their fifties trying to play relevant music  to a pub load of 20 to 30 year olds becomes a bit tricky. I can do the Kate gigs well into my sixties though. I'll just be some old dude dressed in black prowling round the back of the stage and that will look fine in the context of her music. 
    That's a biggie for me too, so I'm happy being kind of a musical director in a much younger band.

    Having singers in their 20s means I can play the music I want to play (basically pop music from the last 15 years) instead of the miserable drudgery of playing 70s dad rock with other geezers in their 50s. 
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  • John_A said:
    Feels like I’ve  gone from ‘guitarist’ to ‘bloke’. It’s just odd
    You're still a guitarist. You're just as much a musician as you ever were. You just aren't in a gigging band at the moment. It's not easy to undo a 35-year habit and it's bound to feel weird.


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  • hotpickupshotpickups Frets: 1338
    edited December 2019
    I can feel your pain on some of the above comments The first sign of in fighting in the band I usually dis band as I can’t stand it and don’t get paid enough to tolerate it. Plenty of good musicians around I feel to not have to put up with any of that rubbish. It certainly keeps the bands music/set list fresh imo but must admit I do hate the recruiting bit 

    Usually I salvage key members of the feuding band who I know can be different if working with other musicians 
    Link to my trading feedback:  http://www.thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/59452/
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  • yeah its always a balance between life, commitments, 'personalities' and the inherent desire to play music. I miss the people and the sense of achievement in taking something that sounds pretty woeful to a point where you can perform it.
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  • thingthing Frets: 186
    edited January 23
    Danny1969 said:


    Joining the Kate Bush tribute was a good move for me. There's a point where men in their fifties trying to play relevant music  to a pub load of 20 to 30 year olds becomes a bit tricky. I can do the Kate gigs well into my sixties though. I'll just be some old dude dressed in black prowling round the back of the stage and that will look fine in the context of her music. 

    Very good point. I'm 63 and currently playing bass in a Cliff Richard tribute band. It's bloody brilliant cos

    1. People expect us to be a dodgy load of old geezers playing it and we don't disappoint. I'm the youmgest in the band by the way. You kind of morph into playing stuff that's age relevant and that you don't feel like a twat playing. I was in a function band a couple of years ago and well remember the turning point for me was playing 'Push The Button' to a load of pissed up Young Farmers and thinking 'I really really really don't want to do this anymore'.

    2.The people I play with have been around the block a squillion times, have nothing to prove and as such we just gel brilliantly. Our main topic of conversation is illness.

    3. I've discovered that after fifty or so years of being a guitar hero I actually love playing bass. It's my new passion. And new passions don't come by quite so regularly when you get to my age. You can always get something new out of music. Aint it great?

    John: Don't you mean it was your last gig with that band? You will be out again, even if it takes a few years of layoff. It never goes out of your blood so don't sell any gear, you'll regret it.

    A falsehood flies half way round the world before the truth has got it's shoes on.
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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 2885
    thing said:

    John: Don't you mean it was your last gig with that band? You will be out again, even if it takes a few years of layoff. It never goes out of your blood so don't sell any gear, you'll regret it.

    who knows.  Some pretty life changing stuff going on.  We’ll see!
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  • JMP220478JMP220478 Frets: 304
    my last full line up finished about 2 years ago after  11 years as 4 piece covers band - some of the best moments ever shared .. 

    As it folded I definitely felt the guitarist to bloke as part of the former is playing with others in a live context .. 

    Went through the JMB route and met some nice people who had nice ideas but tbh were a bit flakey and didnt understand hard work .. and then there were some right idiots too whose egos and talent were indirectly proportional. 

    I tried / perhaps a little too hard to find something to fill in the band gap ; playing Toolesque stuff with a talented but chaotically  organised mental health nurse; did  edrum percussion with a Vietnamese ambient artist and tried singing with a uke / cajon combo .. Amd in the meantime did the occasional reunion gig with old lineup  for charity things - which is sweet but comes with should we / shouldnt we reform etc post gig beers - if its done then move on .. etc 

    Fast fwd - I'm now rehearsing with two lineups - as guitar in a four piece and more recently and surprisingly as a vocalist in a 5 piece ... 

    Moral of story is you will find something else just be discerning , I  wasnt and only served to emphasize the loss of my former band .. and find me whoring myself out to fill the band loss .. 
    -Do stuff with former band mates on a social level cos not only will you have lost the band spirit but worst still you will lose touch with people you have had unique experiences with ..  

    Good luck with the next chapter in your musical endeavors - and whilst I have no details of  your life changing events  - remember that music is such a wonderful part of life and as a musician its part of who you are .  Keep well ..
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  • John_AJohn_A Frets: 2885
    @JMP220478 Nice story there, yes, I'm hopeful I will have a future as a player again and I am discerning ;)
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