Tough opinions needed

Strangefan

So as lockdown is going to last forever, I thought I would give it a go again.
Luckily once you know Cubase its like riding a bike.
I created a song out of an Acapella I downloaded  and I "think" it sounds pretty good,

However I am genuinly not sure, this is not a "please tell me the song is good thread" this is a please tell em what you would improve? be brutal! what would you change?

Strangefan

Jeez tough crowd 

sev112

Dance-Able, in a nightclub as I remember them (lol), some nice production / content elements. Well put together, sound professional.

but no hook, nothing that brings me back to it that makes it memorable 

Strangefan

sev112 said:

Dance-Able, in a nightclub as I remember them (lol), some nice production / content elements. Well put together, sound professional.

but no hook, nothing that brings me back to it that makes it memorable 

Noted thank you  

hollywoodrox

I don’t know much about this type of music but it reminded me of ray of light era Madonna 

spark240

Well...I get the idea....but it sounds super overloaded to me...very heavy on mid range....there's a lot going on and it seems like the sounds are fighting each other for space...the stereo spread could be improved I think?.....just my view ;-) 

I like this sound....( shameless plug of my mix) ..

Whistler

Harry, it is great that you are putting tracks together.

When I play or listen I expect the music to say the same as the lyrics, to have the same emotion. Your song's drum sound (it is not real drums) is full on aggressive with plenty of compression, which would fit an angry, ranting song. Your lyrics are sung sweetly, like you want to tell a story and have people shuffle their chairs a bit closer to hear what you have to say. Both are fine but for me they don't work together. Maybe, when you have found a drum sound that has the rhythm you want for a track, you could experiment by finding alternative sounds that also fit, a bit like actors rehearsing might go over a piece, doing it teasingly or jolly or sad or in an embarrassed way. Don't limit yourself to thinking a song has only one possibility until you and those critics close to you start telling you not to change a thing.

Keep going!