Bluebottles

CHRISB50

I swear they’ve slowed down. 

When I was a kid, I could never manage to swat one. Now I’m like Neo in the Matrix. 

SPECTRUM001

CHRISB50 said:

I swear they’ve slowed down. 

When I was a kid, I could never manage to swat one. Now I’m like Neo in the Matrix. 

I think you’re onto something here - as I have experienced similar with other insects.

Put it down to global warming and the proliferation of rubbish/food.

They are all eating too much and getting bloated in the sun. 

Emp_Fab

I can't hit the buggers even with a giant electric bat of death.

Funkfingers

Use a Telecaster.

Dominic

We have a terrible problem with Hornets every year (never been able to find the nest )
So, we have an Industrial type UV zapper mounted above the back door like the ones you used to see in Butchers shops,
bluebottles,moths,wasps,hornets etc all get zapped as they are attracted to the UV light
A big Bluebottle or a Hornet makes a very satisfying crack as it meets its maker

Grunfeld

Emp_Fab said:

I can't hit the buggers even with a giant electric bat of death.

Do you flap it around like a tennis racket?

Cos that has a low hit rate compared to holding the handle firmly with one hand and pulling the top back to get a bit of tension across the death bat.  When the fly is within range release the top and the thing will ping with coiled energy at the insect. Press the power button as you release too.

High hit rate.

You can really use this to great effect with regular fly swatters too.  More tension = more speed of swipe.

CHRISB50

Emp_Fab said:

I can't hit the buggers even with a giant electric bat of death.

I can give lessons but I’m not cheap

viz

If you open the window just a crack, the air flow is greater; they sense that and fly towards it. 

Emp_Fab

Not in my house they don't mate!  If you crack open the window a little bit, the stupid things keep charging at the glass and in the meantime, another four get in!

axisus

I hate the bastards. It's all out war in my house, I kill them with a zapper bat, flick them with a tea towel and yesterday I literally punched one out of the air and finished him off with a cushion.

They used to be just annoying, but a few years ago one go into a sizeable remains of cooked chicken that I had wrapped up (but clearly not well enough). Chicken was deemed inedible and it was war on from that moment. 

In all fairness I do usually warn them to get out or die ....

boogieman

We get those big bastard horseflies, black with white spots and evil looking red eyes. One of those bites you and you know about it. 

Offset

boogieman said:

We get those big bastard horseflies, black with white spots and evil looking red eyes. One of those bites you and you know about it. 

One of the evil feckers bit me on the foot as I sat outside the pub this Wednesday.  It still itches like buggery, it's very swollen and continues to ooze something unpleasant.  Puts me off wearing shorts and t-shirts when they're in season.

boogieman

Offset said:

boogieman said:

We get those big bastard horseflies, black with white spots and evil looking red eyes. One of those bites you and you know about it. 

One of the evil feckers bit me on the foot as I sat outside the pub this Wednesday.  It still itches like buggery, it's very swollen and continues to ooze something unpleasant.  Puts me off wearing shorts and t-shirts when they're in season.

Whack a big splodge of Germolene on it and that’ll sort it. 

Emp_Fab

Is that so it can't see with the ointment in its eyes and won't be able to find you?

Greatape

Offset said:

Somewhere, I have a rubber-band fly gun that shoots plastic spider webs.

Ok, now I have GAS. 

ICBM

I have gone soft in my old age... I don’t kill them any more. I’ve discovered that catching them is easier than killing them, anyway - use a clear plastic box (Seymour Duncan pickup box is ideal) and a postcard. If you move the box slowly they don’t sense danger until you’re close enough to suddenly trap them with it.

Then I let them out of the window directly behind the rose bush which has more spiders in it than Raiders Of The Lost Ark. They can take their own chances.

poopot

Dominic said:

We have a terrible problem with Hornets every year (never been able to find the nest )

Ooooo… I got stung on a toe by one of those fuckers a few years back… within minutes my whole foot had doubled in size, very red, very hot and hurt like hell!!!!

SPECTRUM001

We just had a nasty in the living room for two days. Huge, and really dumb - all the windows open (large vent, slight vent, mixed vents) and it just wouldn’t leave.

I know I am good company, but there is a limit. Mrs 001 wanted to leave it be, but those horsefly stories got me worried.

Hallelujah, a glass and card did the trick this morning.

Phew…

Offset

Greatape said:

Offset said:

Somewhere, I have a rubber-band fly gun that shoots plastic spider webs.

Ok, now I have GAS. 

Edit - it's spring-powered.  Haven't used it for ages but I'm going to dig it out.

Feed your GAS:

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Pair-Fly-Guns-Total-Without/dp/B003DKNICG

Emp_Fab

Grunfeld said:

Emp_Fab said:

I can't hit the buggers even with a giant electric bat of death.

Do you flap it around like a tennis racket?

Cos that has a low hit rate compared to holding the handle firmly with one hand and pulling the top back to get a bit of tension across the death bat.  When the fly is within range release the top and the thing will ping with coiled energy at the insect. Press the power button as you release too.

High hit rate.

You can really use this to great effect with regular fly swatters too.  More tension = more speed of swipe.

All very good advice - but - if you can't track the buggers once they start flying, you're stuffed.  If they were day-glo orange, I'd stand a good chance, but once they've taken off, I can't see them.