anyone here suffer from body dysmorphia?

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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 12315
    edited July 2021
    my Mrs is way out of my league
    I've been told this a lot over the years. All the 'punching above your weight' comments that are meant to be compliments to the wife, but obviously built into them are insults against oneself. They're harmless in isolation, but after nearly 20 years of them... ehhhh... starts to grate a little. Feeds into the whole self perception thing too. I guess fundamentally this is all a head games thing, mostly.

    Yeah I’m guilty of saying that to you. It’s usually meant as a compliment to you, as in well done you’ve got yourself a corker there. I don’t think people (including me) realise it’s actually working the other way and making you feel unworthy. Sorry dude. 

    My missus is definitely way above my pay grade.  
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  • SnapSnap Frets: 6256
    I think most people are not entirely comfortable with how they look, but the difference is whether it makes you feel inferior or worthless.

    No-one is inferior and no-one is worthless because of how they look. It's how you live that is the measure of who you are.

    It's very true that understanding that actually, you are a person just like everyone else, and that you have every right to be who you are, and be happy in that, is the start point to feeling settled in yourself. Without that, you can look like the most beautiful person on the planet and not be content. 

    People fixated on their appearance are usually very boring vapid characters that don't seem to enrich anyone's life. 


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  • amarok1971amarok1971 Frets: 338
    edited July 2021
    As if my looks weren't bad enough, i have a tiny todger too

    i'm not making light of body dysmorphia btw... i have been plagued all my life and can self deprecate with the best of them.
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  • boogieman said:
    my Mrs is way out of my league
    I've been told this a lot over the years. All the 'punching above your weight' comments that are meant to be compliments to the wife, but obviously built into them are insults against oneself. They're harmless in isolation, but after nearly 20 years of them... ehhhh... starts to grate a little. Feeds into the whole self perception thing too. I guess fundamentally this is all a head games thing, mostly.

    Yeah I’m guilty of saying that to you. It’s usually meant as a compliment to you, as in well done you’ve got yourself a corker there. I don’t think people (including me) realise it’s actually working the other way and making you feel unworthy. Sorry dude. 

    My missus is definitely way above my pay grade.  
    No worries guvnor. I don't hold grudges over this sort of thing, it's just something you notice after a while. More a comment about society than any individual person.

    It kinda ties into what I suspect is that as a society men tend to be valued for what we do for people rather than what we are. And from my perspective, women don't have that problem. They're valued for who they are as people, regardless of whether they bring anything to the table.

    And as guys, we just kinda laugh at it... coz it's all we can do really.

    Bye!

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  • boogiemanboogieman Frets: 12315
    boogieman said:
    my Mrs is way out of my league
    I've been told this a lot over the years. All the 'punching above your weight' comments that are meant to be compliments to the wife, but obviously built into them are insults against oneself. They're harmless in isolation, but after nearly 20 years of them... ehhhh... starts to grate a little. Feeds into the whole self perception thing too. I guess fundamentally this is all a head games thing, mostly.

    Yeah I’m guilty of saying that to you. It’s usually meant as a compliment to you, as in well done you’ve got yourself a corker there. I don’t think people (including me) realise it’s actually working the other way and making you feel unworthy. Sorry dude. 

    My missus is definitely way above my pay grade.  
    No worries guvnor. I don't hold grudges over this sort of thing, it's just something you notice after a while. More a comment about society than any individual person.

    It kinda ties into what I suspect is that as a society men tend to be valued for what we do for people rather than what we are. And from my perspective, women don't have that problem. They're valued for who they are as people, regardless of whether they bring anything to the table.

    And as guys, we just kinda laugh at it... coz it's all we can do really.
    Aye true dat, women can often rise above that stuff and just be themselves. As guys we sometimes indulge in a fair bit of dick waving too…. look at me and what I can attract, I AM OBVIOUSLY A SEX GOD…..HURRRRR! As if that somehow makes us a better person.  :#
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  • yockyyocky Frets: 807
    Meditation/mindfulness could be worth investing your time in if you feel this is negatively affecting your life.

    3 of Jon Kabat-Zinn's Attitudes of Mindfulness are Non Judging (in this case not judging your own appearance), Acceptance (of the way you look), and Letting Go (of preconceived ideas about how you would like to look, or of how you assume society wants you to appear).

    It can be a powerful tool in dropping the baggage that we carry around and It can give you a breathing space between daily triggers (eg catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror) and your automatic and unhelpful reactions to them (eg losing the next hour to wishing you looked a different way). 


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