Clickbait headline formats boil my piss. Here's why.

TimmyO

VimFuego said:

BillDL said:

VimFuego said:

to relieve the tedium of my job I've started doing this with patients. 
"Here's 5 reasons why you may not see the morning; hang around to the end, it'll surprise you".
Professional standards have me on speed dial now.

Many years ago when my Father had a heart attack in the house one of the paramedics thought he was quite the comedian when he said, as though to allay my Dad's fear, "No, don't worry, you're not dying ... yet".  I felt like decking him.

yeah, sounds like he needs to polish up his bedside manner somewhat. I've been to more people than I care to mention who are unlikely to see out the week, but I always leave to people who are paid significantly more than me to tell them the bad news if they ever ask "am I going to be alright?". 

"you're safe to make weekend lunch plans but I wouldn't bother  signing up for broadband" 

TimmyO

the particular clickbait formula that irks me the most is the one where 2 unconnected things are mentioned together (often with "...as..." as the link) in a way that strongly implies they are connected/causal. 

Example: Surprising comments from Max Verstappen as top team announces both drivers dropped for next season" 
Actual story content: some odd detail from a 2 day old Max interview gets resurfaced, followed by a segue to reports from a different motorsport series where a team is having a driver kerfuffle. 

Click achieved. Ads served. Content-monkey paid. 

Keiko

TimmyO said:

the particular clickbait formula that irks me the most is the one where 2 unconnected things are mentioned together (often with "...as..." as the link) in a way that strongly implies they are connected/causal. 

Example: Surprising comments from Max Verstappen as top team announces both drivers dropped for next season" 
Actual story content: some odd detail from a 2 day old Max interview gets resurfaced, followed by a segue to reports from a different motorsport series where a team is having a driver kerfuffle. 

Click achieved. Ads served. Content-monkey paid. 

News media do this all the time. The line they use is "it comes as..."

Where they will link a minor event that happened today, to being somehow connected to a massive terrorist attack from a few years ago that everyone remembers. It also gives them an excuse to go off on one and repeat how many were killed in that original terrorist attack and the tragic victims stories blah blah.

Jfingers

VimFuego said:

BillDL said:

VimFuego said:

to relieve the tedium of my job I've started doing this with patients. 
"Here's 5 reasons why you may not see the morning; hang around to the end, it'll surprise you".
Professional standards have me on speed dial now.

Many years ago when my Father had a heart attack in the house one of the paramedics thought he was quite the comedian when he said, as though to allay my Dad's fear, "No, don't worry, you're not dying ... yet".  I felt like decking him.

yeah, sounds like he needs to polish up his bedside manner somewhat. I've been to more people than I care to mention who are unlikely to see out the week, but I always leave to people who are paid significantly more than me to tell them the bad news if they ever ask "am I going to be alright?". 

Well let's just see what the Doctor says when we get there shall we? That would be my line in that scenario although I'm more likely to be on the receiving end.

Bod

StefB said:

Bod said:

NickBotfield said:

Here's fucking why?!  You've already got a fucking headline with all the information, why are you adding "here's why" at the end of it you absolute bellends?

I know it's a thing of no consequence in the grand scheme of things but fuck me, "here's why" really, really annoys me.

If you're on Facebook, check out the Anti-Clickbait Society.  The guy that runs it reads the clickbait articles and summarizes them.  He's pissing off the serial perpetrators who are now starting to block him.

I subscribe to him but, ironically, get that many of his posts in my feed he too is starting to feel like spam/clickbait.

Someone pulled him up earlier this week actually on the fact that having to press the 'see more' button on his own posts is akin to clickbait.  They have a point, but he didn't like it and pulled the guy up, marking him out as tw@ of the day.

I didn't see that, but it's not fair to point the finger at him for that - that's a general Facebook thing isn't it? 

axisus

eh?

"Here's why?"

I think I missed something ...

Keiko

axisus said:

eh?

"Here's why?"

I think I missed something ...

you have to watch til the end to find out

NickBotfield

It's just a headline format thing that annoys me, you see it all over the gaff now.  E.g.

"First ride review: I tested new Campagnolo Super Record 13, and Shimano and SRAM should be worried – here's why"

"High street banks are keen to hand mortgage borrowers £35,000 MORE: Here's why"

"The Supreme Court just made it easier for White workers to sue for bias. Here's why."

You don't need to say here's why, we know that the article you've just written will explain it, that's how articles are supposed to work.  It's just enshittification of simple headlines!

Dontgiveupyourdayjob

You can guarantee that any article title or YouTube thumbnail that says either "This Changes Everything!" Or "Total Game changer!" will end up changing absolutely fuck all. 

NickBotfield

Unless it's a literal video about global settings in computer games.  "I changed the graphics settings from high to medium.  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING."

TimmyO

Forum member ENRAGED as Musk makes Epstein connection allegations. 



(about someone else) 

Sporky

NickBotfield said:

Unless it's a literal video about global settings in computer games.  "I changed the graphics settings from high to medium.  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING."

But that doesn't change the controls or audio settings! 

TimmyO

Sporky said:

NickBotfield said:

Unless it's a literal video about global settings in computer games.  "I changed the graphics settings from high to medium.  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING."

But that doesn't change the controls or audio settings! 

Follow-up 'remorse' video for that already in the can 

Sporky

TimmyO said:

Sporky said:

NickBotfield said:

Unless it's a literal video about global settings in computer games.  "I changed the graphics settings from high to medium.  THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING."

But that doesn't change the controls or audio settings! 

Follow-up 'remorse' video for that already in the can 

The new forum needs wizlols. Here's why! 

Sporky

Just to add to this, my current bugbear is "I'm a [whatever] and here are the affiliate links I want you to click"

See also "I [do blah] for a living, and etc."

Emp_Fab

These problems and a great number of others are down to a simple fact; Many people are c**ts.

MrSnrub

StefB said:

Bod said:

NickBotfield said:

Here's fucking why?!  You've already got a fucking headline with all the information, why are you adding "here's why" at the end of it you absolute bellends?

I know it's a thing of no consequence in the grand scheme of things but fuck me, "here's why" really, really annoys me.

If you're on Facebook, check out the Anti-Clickbait Society.  The guy that runs it reads the clickbait articles and summarizes them.  He's pissing off the serial perpetrators who are now starting to block him.

I subscribe to him but, ironically, get that many of his posts in my feed he too is starting to feel like spam/clickbait.

Someone pulled him up earlier this week actually on the fact that having to press the 'see more' button on his own posts is akin to clickbait.  They have a point, but he didn't like it and pulled the guy up, marking him out as tw@ of the day.

By necessity he has to write long passages of text, and Facebook cuts them short automatically. It's beyond his control. That's not clickbait.