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  • ShrewsShrews Frets: 2958
    All the jokes I've put on here have come from another source, which probably came from another source, which probably came from another source, which probably came from.......

    Apart from this one!  In junior school, aged about 8 or 9, we had to think up a joke and I made up this one, so if you've ever heard it, then that really is mine (circa 1974)

    Why did the chicken cross the road?
    - To get to the other side

    Why did the chicken cross the road and come back again?
    - Because its braces got stuck in the lampost

    Boom! Boom!

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280
    Who gives a sh*t where they come from
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 15924
    indeed


    IMG

    tae be or not tae be
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 15924
    IMG
    tae be or not tae be
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  • Emp_FabEmp_Fab Frets: 24209
    tyger said:
    I fully agree about putting a smile on peoples faces and brightening their day wholeheartedly but the appreciation and thanks should go to the real contributors. Anyone can cut and paste other peoples submissions but it appeared that the person here responsible for doing this was happy to take all the credit too....that's all.
    Aaaaand the award for taking smiles off people's faces and filling the thread with faeces goes to......
    Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.
    Also chips are "Plant-based" no matter how you cook them.
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  • BellycasterBellycaster Frets: 5834
    tyger said:
    I fully agree about putting a smile on peoples faces and brightening their day wholeheartedly but the appreciation and thanks should go to the real contributors. Anyone can cut and paste other peoples submissions but it appeared that the person here responsible for doing this was happy to take all the credit too....that's all.
    It's a thread dedicated to "Humour", not, "Come Up With an Original Joke"

    Did you sign off "Article 13" by any chance @tyger ;

    Here's one: My dog has no nose!..............I can't tell you the rest due to Health and Safety Regulations :)
    Only a Fool Would Say That.
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  • maltingsaudiomaltingsaudio Frets: 3098
    Children it’s a humour thread so well done to @hootsmon for starting it, it doesn’t matter where the material comes from in this day and age, and who bothers to read the comments instead of just looking at the pictures.
    www.maltingsaudio.co.uk
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  • TheMarlinTheMarlin Frets: 7744
    Love this thread.  Long may it continue :)

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  • dropbear59dropbear59 Frets: 4
    This gave me a good laugh. The ending... Brilliant. Did not see that coming, plus the original video is quite a few years old and I love the way he edited the bloke in so he was on the stage with him - and made it look so flawless.

    Anybody know if he's still trying to get his song right all these years later? Hehe

    https://youtu.be/R8Cl0FQBjqo
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  • HootsmonHootsmon Frets: 15924
    Children it’s a humour thread so well done to @hootsmon for starting it, it doesn’t matter where the material comes from in this day and age, and who bothers to read the comments instead of just looking at the pictures.

    Yeah, i wish....it's the child of the lovely Fretty

    Hi, Fretty  :)


    tae be or not tae be
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  • maltingsaudiomaltingsaudio Frets: 3098
    edited May 2019
    hootsmon said:
    Children it’s a humour thread so well done to @hootsmon for starting it, it doesn’t matter where the material comes from in this day and age, and who bothers to read the comments instead of just looking at the pictures.

    Yeah, i wish....it's the child of the lovely Fretty

    Hi, Fretty 


    I stand corrected well done @Fretwired ;
    www.maltingsaudio.co.uk
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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280
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  • HAL9000HAL9000 Frets: 9551

    Here's one: My dog has no nose!..............I can't tell you the rest due to Health and Safety Regulations :)
    My dog's got synesthesia
    How does it smell?
    Purple!
    I play guitar because I enjoy it rather than because I’m any good at it
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  • guitars4youguitars4you Frets: 14030
    tFB Trader
    axisus said:
    Is this the Dead Kennedy's first gig in Dallas ?
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  • BigBearKrisBigBearKris Frets: 1747
    axisus said:
    That's but dark. Still funny though.
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  • guitars4youguitars4you Frets: 14030
    tFB Trader
    axisus said:
    Is this the Dead Kennedy's first gig in Dallas ?
    playing a cover of a Kaiser Chief song - Ruby Ruby Ruby
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  • NiteflyNitefly Frets: 4901
    ^^ You're on fire today, Mark!  :)

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  • axisusaxisus Frets: 28280
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  • 30hertz30hertz Frets: 41

    My wife asked me to stop posting clickbait.

    My reply will amaze you!

    I'm not some sort of drug-taking alcoholic git.
    I'm just a git.

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  • 30hertz30hertz Frets: 41

    The other night in bed, my wife suddenly told me that I was the most unromantic man she had ever met.

    I was so amazed, I nearly dropped my kazoo.

    I'm not some sort of drug-taking alcoholic git.
    I'm just a git.

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