Friday humour

TheOtherDennis

axisus said:

Then again, what do you do if, like my wife, you're so disabled you're not actually capable of holding a cup at all, and NEED a straw that won't fall to bits the minute you try to use it, and can't afford to pay three times as much for a packet of paper straws that has half as many in it as a packet of plastic straws that actually, will be washed and used at least four times each?

Because sometimes, even an adult only has the skills of an infant, no matter what they'd like.

guitars4you

A pair of Siamese twins decide to go on holiday to France - After a long journey they arrive at their hotel and are met by the concierge 

Concierge - I hope you'll enjoy your stay in France - Do you mind if I ask what it is that made you want to visit France - Is it the fine red wines that we grow in this region ?

Siamese Twin 1 - 'No'

Concierge - Is it our fine French cuisine ?

Siamese Twin 1 - 'No'

Concierge - Is it the beauty of our fine French women ?

Siamese Twin 1 - 'No'

Concierge - Well what is it ?

Siamese Twin 1 - So my brother can have a go at driving the car

Hootsmon

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Hootsmon

...and Your mother's a hamster

Hootsmon

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HAL9000

Good luck and bad luck today - I was lucky enough to find a hat full of money lying on the pavement earlier, then I was unlucky enough to be beaten up by an angry man with an acoustic guitar.

axisus

the_jaffa

axisus said:

Guessing someone asked to come back as a Pine Marten

Hootsmon

Obviously a Woodle

Hootsmon

HAL9000

A brown paper bag is feeling very unwell and goes to the visit the doctor.

The doctor does a number of tests before telling the brown paper bag that, unfortunately, it has some horrible hereditary disease.

’How's that happened then?’ asks the bag ‘I’m just a brown paper bag.’

’Well’ replies the doctor ‘one of you parents must have been a carrier.’

HAL9000

Breaking news - unfinished artwork stolen. Details still a bit sketchy.

Hootsmon