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They've suggested we start about 8pm though and I'm thinking that's a touch too early.
Still, it's their call I guess.
Make sure they understand about your parking, load-in and sound-check requirements!
Most bands charge more for weddings to take this kind of thing into account. You can be a stickler if you have a contract, but sometimes it's better to make sure their big day is the best it can be within reason (playing is the fun bit anyway). If you're the type of person who gets pleasure from knowing you've done a great job, seeing the reviews on your social media afterwards is rewarding.
On the night? A month before?
We normally do 3 x 40 mins, generally between 8 and 11:00 ... some venues have to kill live music by 11 and DJ by 12, sometimes later. Generally weddings always run late so you go on later than planned anyway. We did one at a vineyard once, £2200 and the whole thing overrun so late we only played one set
Deposit wise we take £500 non refundable when the bookings agreed then the balance in cash on the day before we play. That's important because you don't want to chasing a pissed up best man at midnight for payment.
All the wedding venues we do have the band in the same room the meal takes place. That means we generally load in during the morning, soundcheck and then bugger off and return at 7: 30 already suited up and ready to play. That's partly the reason it cost a lot, it can take up a lot of time
Set quantity and length is determined by the event (some are horrendously long by bad design). Typically 2 or 3 x 45 Mins but be flexible if they want 2x60. We have done 4x45 but have a 'soft n' slow' set for the first because in practice granny can't hear little johny telling her about his rabbit.
Deposit on confirmation and the balance when you're set up but before you play a note.
You will need to consider the 'first dance' as a special request.
Expect to be set up before the masses arrive and sit around for hours - charge for this time.
Timetables are just a suggestion at most weddings, be ready when you are expected but expect to be held waiting a long time.
You can win a lot of brownie points if a waltz pops up for 'the dancers', Golden Brown saves some of your credibilty there but have one or two in the bag ready.
The reason weddings pay well is that you are providing a professional service, do well and many more come your way.
Take a good book.
Interesting that Danny says he does 3 x 40 as standard. I find with 40 mins that by the time we build up momentum, we have to stop again and then build it up from scratch again next set, but there are also big pluses too (shorter time between )
Additional sets are at an extra cost.
Bottom line is: what do the bride and groom want?
the big arse ache is the "first dance song". You sometimes have to learn an horrendous tune that you will (hopefully) never need to play again.
Always worth while to check with the venue a few weeks before playing as well.
They may have sound levels you have to adhere to, may require to see your public liability before you set foot through the door etc.
As well as the guests the venue can throw unexpected spanners into the works that the bride and groom may not have informed you of or they didn't even know themselves. For example the couple may want you to play till midnight but the venue doesn't allow live music after 11pm.
Casing point - we played my own wedding last year and the venue insisted that all equipment including amps and speakers must be on the floor - nothing on stands and no sound check was allowed. Their reasons were pathetic but we had to comply with them and only found out the morning of the wedding. You'd had thought they would have told us this beforehand.
+1 for a dislike of working out first dance songs. I had to learn a few that just didn't lend themselves to a guitar based band, songs with lots of brass parts or tricky keyboard parts were the worst of that ilk.
Stairs. Some wedding venues are up steps or a flight of stairs. Figure that in to your costing, by the time you've lugged an AC30 and a trace Elliot stack plus a big PA/lights/monitors you will have earned some extra cash. It all has to go down again at the end of the night when you are tired and apt to be careless.
"Sorry, guys, we're running a bit late with speeches and so on...We'll let you know as soon as you can start loading in..."
Some venues just have no sense of how awkward their load in restrictions are. We played a wedding in the summer where the distance from where we had to load in to where we were performing put an extra half an hour onto the set-up time and seriously threatened our chances of being set up in time. All it would have taken would have been a quick word in advance "Lads, it's quite a long way to the performance area, you might want to add a bit of time onto your day to allow for it".
And also the old "How much room do you guys need?" *points to area The Borrowers would struggle to stand in* "..Is this going to be enough...?"