Artistic temperament and personality clashes do sometimes lead to tensions within bands but were you ever in bands where your bandmates were a complete nightmare?
One band I was in the singer hated the way the drummer's playing was always different at gigs to rehearsals -- normally the drummer being too flash. The singer got completely paranoid about it and in the middle of one gig grabbed the drummer by the throat shouting "I'll f*$#cking kill you!". Entertaining.
I've been mainly lucky to be in bands with really great guys but there was one exception. A well-established band that was earning good money working five times a week needed to replace their guitarist who was emigrating. I turned up at an audition with a bunch of other guys and I was the one they picked. At first all good but I was soon finding lots of back-stabbing going on whenever anyone left the room at rehearsals. Real nasty stuff. I figured it wouldn't be long before I got it too. The bass player in particular was a real dick. I stuck at it for a couple of months because the money was good but then one day the drummer, who I quite liked, mentioned on the phone a gig the next day that I had not been told about, which was strange. I turned up to find the bass player had arranged for one of his mates to play guitar instead of me but hadn't told anyone. The singer had the hump and they all started arguing. At the next rehearsal I quit.
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“Theory is something that is written down after the music has been made so we can explain it to others”– Levi Clay
However, he also had no driving licence and our drummer had to pick him up. It came to light that Dave spent every journey bad mouthing every member of the band in an angry and sweary manner, making things unpleasant and scary for our drummer. Our sax player Andy agreed to call him up and sack him. Apparently he said he appreciated Andy's honesty but would kick the heads in of the rest of us if given a chance. It's not happened, yet, although I'm fairly sure he was capable of it.
Our ex-bass player was perpetually on holiday, His Mrs owned a very successful business so he had loads of time to practice and loads of money to buy gear and cars (all of the time). Whenever one of us got a lead on a gig he was always on a cruise. I lost count of the lost opportunities due to his "oh, we're away that week". We worked out that in his last year with us he was unavailable for 26 weekends. He came off holiday once and went away again the very next weekend. He bought a full Ampeg bass stack but was unable to lift it in any way - he actually asked me to go to his house to help load his car up. He would moan constantly about how hard his life was in a very unhelpful way.
He'd learned completely by ear so knew no notes or bars - but further to this he couldn't play any song differently to the record. We tried to extend a song at a gig where the pa had gone down but he was unable to play a 3 chord sequence for longer than we'd rehearsed - he had no idea what we were doing. He couldn't just jam a tune out until he'd had a week to learn it... but would then berate us for binning stuff that didn't work "because he'd put so much work in". He would regularly criticise my inability to play Gary Moore solos note for note whilst being unable to play basic stuff himself.
I lost my rag with him completely when he drunkenly told me he was sick of us all not working hard enough and not getting enough gigs (blissfully ignorant that we were turning down 80% of our offers because of him) and called us all c***s.
Great bass player though.
I'll have to have a think about the others who've been as bad - there are loads.
Newish singer turned up for a 10am Saturday practice not having been to bed and drunk as fuck.
We did one song and he was a nightmare.
I was the band leader so I told him to go home and sleep and he got pretty angry and aggressive.
Eventually he left and was fired.
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Dragged them off to soundcheck though the bass player could barely stand. Fun gig that was.
Turned out that they had gone on a drink & drug fuelled bender ( )and ended up with one of them sitting naked in a coffee shop at breakfast time, nearly getting arrested for that, forgetting where the hotel was and unsuccessfully trying to pull the promoters girlfriend along the way.
Having said that they were good guys most of the time
Very unpleasant man, had the nerve to send a friends request on Facebook a wee while back.
Next band the new bassist started sleeping with the drummers wife. That soon blew up the band in no time too.
Very hard to criticise rock n roll when it's done right.
I joined what I was told an existing band and was expected to learn 40 songs in 3 months. However it was a start up and two other members were trying to get up to speed as well. Add to this a band leader who picked songs primarily for make vocals and keyboards (we had neither) and it was fun.
However the main problem was the other guitarist who was unemployed, lived alone and learnt the songs in a week and expected me to as well. He cherry picked the parts and solos he wanted and gave me the sax solos etc. He also complained all the time about everything. He complained about the rehearsal studio which was basically a shed. However it was free, he didnt drive so was driven there, there was backline and beer and he helped himself to both. I left with a plausible excuse after 5 weeks and got a call from the bandleader. Could I do a gig.? Err I left the band. Oh yes. Is your situation any different? No. Turns out the band did a warm up gig and they all agreed a black dress code. Guiatrist turns up in jeans and a T shirt and spends more time fiddling with his multi effect than playing.
I did a school musicial on bass where the guitarist constantly told me how to play bass (I was at the time a bass player at a church, a Gospel Choir, a covers band and depped for another) After three rehearsals of this plus the band providing all his gear cos he didnt own any, I told him not to speak to me again. Sorted.
However the finalist for the all time twat bandmember was a vocalist back in the 80s. The main problem is that he was a legend in his own underpants and knew better than anyone else. The band was a start up and I was the first bassist. I assumed that we were a band and made decisions together. OK I know but we would have band meetings and decide whta to do. However the twat vocalist would then go and do what he wanted. It came to a head when we had discussed and agreed that we would not arrange any gigs around the birth of my daughter, it would be low key, we wouldnt put any undue pressure on us. He reluctantly agreed and went out and hired a 400 seater hall on the day my daughter was due. An added stress (beyond anyones control) was that the keyboard player got was rushing into hospital with cancer. So the TV said that we would use the support bands keyboard player as a dep (excuse me? support band?) So he arranged a rehearsal at his house the night before the gig and when we arrived went down the pub with his wife. He had appointed a sound engineer but he didnt own any sound equipment. We tried to borrow a pa but the owner would let our sound engineer use it. We also had a lighting engineer without any lights. It just went on.
After the first gig (we had another two weeks later 30 miles away, by this time he had borrowed the largest pa you have ever seen but we didnt have a van) I approached twatty boy and had it out with him. I was then told that I was there to play bass and do as I was told (why the charade of meetings then?). So I left, honoured the next gig which went horribly wrong as the drummer had a meltdown. I played out of my skin and walked. Yay me. Within 6 months I was playing for a semi pro singer songwriter.
Please.
i love these stories.
Anyway, he "accidentally" left some pictures of him cross-dressing on a USB stick along with versions of cover songs he wanted us to learn.
A few months later, he announced his decision to leave his family including their disabled child so he could become a woman. I've got no problem with the last part, people have to do what's right for them. But he, the drummer and the other guitarist in the band all lived on the same cul-de-sac and all their families were friends, so for a while the fallout made me feel like I was an extra in a poorly written soap opera.
I do have to admit i wasn't relishing the thought of playing some of the pubs we played at with what would have been, at the time, a man wearing a dress. But the drummer and other guitarist, who ran the band, fired him anyways so I never got a chance to experience that.
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The most memorable was a drummer who had arranged to audition with us one evening only to have to cancel at the last minute. The room we were using was fairly small and he was wanting to use the studio's kit so, to save space, we asked the studio manager to take the kit out of the room after the guy cancelled on us.
About 2 hours into rehearsal this guy turns up - just walks into the room while we are playing - and is acting really hyper. After pointing out the obvious lack of a drum kit we thought he'd be on his way but he decided to hang around and listen to a few songs which was fair enough. The fact he was practically bouncing off the walls while we were playing was a little disconcerting but we just tried to avoid looking at him.
After a couple of songs he grabbed the microphone out of the singers stand and announced that he was going to sing for us - did we know White Wedding? So we started playing it and he started belting it out with a lot of energy but little in the way of melody or phrasing all the while bouncing up and down like an over excited Jack Russell (thankfully he didn't piss on the floor though).
He then went on to tell us that he can play any instrument to a high standard and that he'd decided to play drums so he can just stay in the background and avoid "band politics" but he'd previously been the front man for a covers band as well as lead guitarist and bass player for a few local bands. After a bit of quizzing it turned out that the covers band he use to front was an Amy Winehouse tribute band which he'd dress up in a beehive wig and cocktail dress for.
He wanted to finish off by showing us his ability on guitar so, very warily, I handed my guitar over only to watch him gingerly strum a couple of chords as though he thought it would bite him. Our singer asked him what he was playing to which he responded "It's Valerie - I heard you play it before I came in so I thought I'd show you how to play it properly".
At this point it was getting towards 10pm. He suddenly realises that he had to be elsewhere to meet a bloke he was doing some business with and vanishes.
A couple of days go by and he rings me up while I'm at work asking if he'd got the gig. I pointed out that he'd not actually played the drums for us and that we'd other auditions lined up for the next few weeks but, if he wanted to, he could give me a ring in a couple of weeks to see if we were still looking.
The audition the following week was another local guy - real nice easy going bloke and a decent drummer. The subject of the previous week's "audition" came up and he sat there listen to us tell the tale only to ask at the end "he wasn't called Paul was he? A short, skinny bloke?". The answer to both was yes.
This guy calmly put his sticks away got up and headed for the door. His parting words were "Really sorry guys but if that fucking loon has been anywhere near you I can't get involved".
A couple of weeks go by and I never got the follow up call from Paul so I thought I'd try my luck with second guy. After a bit of chat he apologised for walking out like that but went on to explain that Paul had been the singer in one of his previous bands and was a complete control freak (including damn near stalking anyone who left the band). He's also messed around (or at least tried to) with a couple of band members wives and used to use gigs as a chance to meet up with his "business associates" and exchange small bags of white powder for cash and favours.