Livid with childminder

DefaultM · July 2019

I had an appointment today, and I wanted my wife to come with me so we arranged to take our 2 year old to the childminder.
We're paying for a full day, which runs 8:00 til 18:00. Didn't say we'd do anything different than usual, which is pick her up from the house at 18:00.

Had the appointment and went to pick our son up from school at 15:15. We saw the childminder with our daughter at the school as she picks up other kids, but she was some distance away and we didn't speak.
We still had a supermarket visit to do, so was just going to pick her up at the usual time.

Next thing I know my 2 year old is at my side and I notice the childminder's 8 year old daughter is walking away. The childminder is absolutely nowhere to be seen. We stood for 5 minutes wondering what was going on, expecting maybe the childminder to run up in a panic but no. She seems to have told her daughter to bring her across the school grounds and return her to us. As though she's just made a decision that the childminding is over, and that it's ok to just send another kid to return the child.

I can't get my head around this. Of all the different reasons it might have happened, none of them are understandable or acceptable.
I've had a look at the contract and it just says ad hoc on it, so I'm assuming it's reasonable for me to inform her that she's sacked?

munckee · July 2019

DefaultM said:

I had an appointment today, and I wanted my wife to come with me so we arranged to take our 2 year old to the childminder.
We're paying for a full day, which runs 8:00 til 18:00. Didn't say we'd do anything different than usual, which is pick her up from the house at 18:00.

Had the appointment and went to pick our son up from school at 15:15. We saw the childminder with our daughter at the school as she picks up other kids, but she was some distance away and we didn't speak.
We still had a supermarket visit to do, so was just going to pick her up at the usual time.

Next thing I know my 2 year old is at my side and I notice the childminder's 8 year old daughter is walking away. The childminder is absolutely nowhere to be seen. We stood for 5 minutes wondering what was going on, expecting maybe the childminder to run up in a panic but no. She seems to have told her daughter to bring her across the school grounds and return her to us. As though she's just made a decision that the childminding is over, and that it's ok to just send another kid to return the child.

I can't get my head around this. Of all the different reasons it might have happened, none of them are understandable or acceptable.
I've had a look at the contract and it just says ad hoc on it, so I'm assuming it's reasonable for me to inform her that she's sacked?

I'd sack her on the spot.

musteatbrain · July 2019

Sounds like that person shouldn’t be minding children and you can’t have any confidence in her looking after yours in future.

Kilgore · July 2019

Makes you wonder what kind of cavalier attitude to looking after kids she has when you're not there.

Get rid.

beed84 · July 2019

munckee said:

DefaultM said:

I had an appointment today, and I wanted my wife to come with me so we arranged to take our 2 year old to the childminder.
We're paying for a full day, which runs 8:00 til 18:00. Didn't say we'd do anything different than usual, which is pick her up from the house at 18:00.

Had the appointment and went to pick our son up from school at 15:15. We saw the childminder with our daughter at the school as she picks up other kids, but she was some distance away and we didn't speak.
We still had a supermarket visit to do, so was just going to pick her up at the usual time.

Next thing I know my 2 year old is at my side and I notice the childminder's 8 year old daughter is walking away. The childminder is absolutely nowhere to be seen. We stood for 5 minutes wondering what was going on, expecting maybe the childminder to run up in a panic but no. She seems to have told her daughter to bring her across the school grounds and return her to us. As though she's just made a decision that the childminding is over, and that it's ok to just send another kid to return the child.

I can't get my head around this. Of all the different reasons it might have happened, none of them are understandable or acceptable.
I've had a look at the contract and it just says ad hoc on it, so I'm assuming it's reasonable for me to inform her that she's sacked?

I'd sack her on the spot.

Yeah, and I’d have got her daughter to tell her.

ICBM · July 2019

It sounds like she has already made the decision that the childminding is over permanently.

If you pay in advance, ask for your money back for any outstanding days, and if she gets arsey about it, tell her you'll report her to the council - I'm almost totally certain that leaving a 2-year-old in the care of an 8-year-old, however briefly, is a breach of the childminding regulations and probably the law.

DefaultM · July 2019

beed84 said:

munckee said:

DefaultM said:

I had an appointment today, and I wanted my wife to come with me so we arranged to take our 2 year old to the childminder.
We're paying for a full day, which runs 8:00 til 18:00. Didn't say we'd do anything different than usual, which is pick her up from the house at 18:00.

Had the appointment and went to pick our son up from school at 15:15. We saw the childminder with our daughter at the school as she picks up other kids, but she was some distance away and we didn't speak.
We still had a supermarket visit to do, so was just going to pick her up at the usual time.

Next thing I know my 2 year old is at my side and I notice the childminder's 8 year old daughter is walking away. The childminder is absolutely nowhere to be seen. We stood for 5 minutes wondering what was going on, expecting maybe the childminder to run up in a panic but no. She seems to have told her daughter to bring her across the school grounds and return her to us. As though she's just made a decision that the childminding is over, and that it's ok to just send another kid to return the child.

I can't get my head around this. Of all the different reasons it might have happened, none of them are understandable or acceptable.
I've had a look at the contract and it just says ad hoc on it, so I'm assuming it's reasonable for me to inform her that she's sacked?

I'd sack her on the spot.

Yeah, and I’d have got her daughter to tell her.

Didn't even have chance because her daughter was already off. It's not like she even sent her across with a message, but if she did do that I still wouldn't have been happy because I wanted to do our shopping first.

munckee · July 2019

DefaultM said:

beed84 said:

munckee said:

DefaultM said:

I had an appointment today, and I wanted my wife to come with me so we arranged to take our 2 year old to the childminder.
We're paying for a full day, which runs 8:00 til 18:00. Didn't say we'd do anything different than usual, which is pick her up from the house at 18:00.

Had the appointment and went to pick our son up from school at 15:15. We saw the childminder with our daughter at the school as she picks up other kids, but she was some distance away and we didn't speak.
We still had a supermarket visit to do, so was just going to pick her up at the usual time.

Next thing I know my 2 year old is at my side and I notice the childminder's 8 year old daughter is walking away. The childminder is absolutely nowhere to be seen. We stood for 5 minutes wondering what was going on, expecting maybe the childminder to run up in a panic but no. She seems to have told her daughter to bring her across the school grounds and return her to us. As though she's just made a decision that the childminding is over, and that it's ok to just send another kid to return the child.

I can't get my head around this. Of all the different reasons it might have happened, none of them are understandable or acceptable.
I've had a look at the contract and it just says ad hoc on it, so I'm assuming it's reasonable for me to inform her that she's sacked?

I'd sack her on the spot.

Yeah, and I’d have got her daughter to tell her.

Didn't even have chance because her daughter was already off. It's not like she even sent her across with a message, but if she did do that I still wouldn't have been happy because I wanted to do our shopping first.

You're paying for her to mind until later then whether you are sleeping on a bench in the playground is irrelevant, but thats nothing compared to leaving your child in the care of another child - completely unacceptable.

DefaultM · July 2019

In my mind the only way the childminding should end is with us taking our daughter directly from her. I don't think any other scenario would be acceptable unless agreed on that morning?

I thought maybe my phone would start ringing and she'd be on the other end in tears thinking she'd lost her, but no. Nothing, so it certainly appears deliberate and I don't think I've got the wrong end of the stick.

DefaultM · July 2019

This has left us in a bit of a situation. I want her nowhere near our daughter ever again, but my wife works 2 days a week. How quickly can you sign up to a new childminder or nursery?

p90fool · July 2019

She only has the word of her eight year old daughter that your child was safely delivered to the right person, so go to the childminder at 18.00 to pick up your child as arranged, just to see the look of utter panic on her face.

Iamnobody · July 2019

DefaultM said:

This has left us in a bit of a situation. I want her nowhere near our daughter ever again, but my wife works 2 days a week. How quickly can you sign up to a new childminder or nursery?

You might get lucky with a nursery - lots of children will be leaving in the next two weeks and unless there’s a waiting list you might get in.

I’d always choose a nursery over a childminder - the children are supervised by more than one person and don’t get attached the same.

The main thing is though you have no idea what the comings and goings are at a childminders house but can be reasonably sure that everything is above board at a nursery.

Good luck whatever happens.

SouthpawMark · July 2019

P45

jellyroll · July 2019

But from your telling of the story, going to school & seeing your childminder but not going up to her to explain your presence or even to say hello does seem kind of strange. Maybe that threw her. Doesn’t justify her subsequent behaviour but it might be an explanation.

DefaultM · July 2019

jellyroll said:
But from your telling of the story, going to school & seeing your childminder but not going up to her to explain your presence or even to say hello does seem kind of strange. Maybe that threw her. Doesn’t justify her subsequent behaviour but it might be an explanation.

I agree with you about that situation seeming odd if it was a one off, but it's a usual thing. I work till 15:00, so I go get my step son from school straight from work. We often bump in to the childminder, but our daughter stays with her so that he gets to spend a bit of time with us alone. We go get his Mum from work and I let him sit in the front, then he gets a drive thru happy meal on the way for his sister. Childminder knows that the same happens every time, and I've never taken her in the playground. Which leads me on to...

p90fool said:

She only has the word of her eight year old daughter that your child was safely delivered to the right person, so go to the childminder at 18.00 to pick up your child as arranged, just to see the look of utter panic on her face.

this is what I find scariest, and how she hasn't even sent a text saying "just checking you got her" or anything similar. She's thought nothing of this, as though it's a normal thing to do.

Jimbro66 · July 2019

Having had a couple of pretty unsatisfactory child minders in the past, including one who reeked of booze when I turned up early to collect my youngest, I can't help feeling that no authority is effectively monitoring child care standards. It seems almost too easy to become a registered childminder.

Take the nursery route if you can. Your child will learn a lot more in preparation for school entry and, as has been said, the standards of supervision and child security are usually high - and are checked.

sev112 · July 2019

Speak to her
explain your concern and potential anger
ask her what she did and why
then you can decide to terminate etc as you wish.
But ask her first

jonnyburgo · July 2019

Get on to Ofsted and report her, she’s taking the piss

DefaultM · July 2019

I've written a message which is intended to be reasonable.

"please would you be able to explain what happened in the playground yesterday? We were waiting for [son], I looked down and [daughter] was by my side with [her daughter], who then said bye and walked away. We looked around for you, couldn't find you so just had to take [daughter] home and we've had no contact since?"

I've not sent it yet in case it's crap.

Cols · July 2019

In this case, I think a face to face discussion would be best; modify the above message to not request an explanation, but to make it clear that you’re concerned and ask her for a convenient time to sit down together and discuss. Otherwise it’ll end with Death By Text Message back and forth with both parties eventually storming off.

ICBM · July 2019

DefaultM said:

I've written a message which is intended to be reasonable.

"please would you be able to explain what happened in the playground yesterday? We were waiting for [son], I looked down and [daughter] was by my side with [her daughter], who then said bye and walked away. We looked around for you, couldn't find you so just had to take [daughter] home and we've had no contact since?"

I've not sent it yet in case it's crap.

I think that’s perfectly reasonable and the implied tone is entirely justified.

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Livid with childminder

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