General meaningless rant about band member availability

DiscoStu · January 27

My band is the same. We've got practice tonight and it's the first time in a couple of months due to availability.
Similar to the OP, we've had to turn down gig options for later in the year cos we can't all do the dates.

I'm mostly ok with it, before we started this band it had been nearly 30 years since I was in a gigging band so I'm happy that we've managed to do a handful of gigs already, and folk want us to play more.

Why can't singers learn the words though? The rest of us learn our parts, put in the hours of practice, but the singer just turns up with his phone and reads the lyrics.
Now THAT fucks me off.

mike257 · January 28

lustycourtier said:

Genuinely cannot imagine rehearsing for over a year with no outlet.
In all the bands Im in, if first rehearsal clicks with the members, you book a gigs and be gig ready by the first one. Even tribute bands weve been out gigging at decent level after 4 rehearsals, not a chance of £10 each every other week or whatever for a year.

Dave nailed it here. Most pub gigs I ever did as a working player (and a lot of the high end functions too!) were with no rehearsal at all. I don't think I've ever done more than two before a run of gigs for a covers band.

Also, if someone wasn't available, we found a dep for that show and cracked on with it. If you want to get a regular run of work for your band, it might be something you have to do - sounds like it might be the difference between you getting a few gigs each or all of you playing none at all!

supes · January 28

I'd have a chat with them about it and if things didn't change I'd walk. If you're in a band to gig and then can't make yourself available most weekends then it's never going to end well.

AntonHunter · January 29

100% agree with the posts suggesting getting deps, if there are dates that everyone bar one person can do, for example. I've often suggested that for gigs I can't do; "no point holding the band back juat because I can't do this one date." With others though, you'd be surprised how quickly people move things around if they think they're going to be missing out.

I'm no longer on Facebook, but there are several groups on there for finding deps.

allen · January 29

Thanks folks for all the input. Obviously touched a nerve here!

1. @EricTheWeary Yes, we are both all a bit shit and also mildly perfectionist (not kidding).
2. Regarding deps, it seems unlikely to me that the others would agree. It's not 'my' band. Plus I'm not sure that organising deps is totally without stress unless you already know reliable people.
3. @Stuckfast I work with young people sometimes - and I am not surprised!
4. Impressed with the people who can just turn up with minimal rehearsal!

I will have a chat with everyone at our next rehearsal, but I think it will just be some shrugging of shoulders without any real progress.

I am a bit loathe to find another band because it took me quite a few months to find this one - guitar players are ten a penny, and I'm not the greatest player in the world!

TheBigDipper · January 29

allen said:

Thanks folks for all the input. Obviously touched a nerve here!

1. @EricTheWeary Yes, we are both all a bit shit and also mildly perfectionist (not kidding).
2. Regarding deps, it seems unlikely to me that the others would agree. It's not 'my' band. Plus I'm not sure that organising deps is totally without stress unless you already know reliable people.
3. @Stuckfast I work with young people sometimes - and I am not surprised!
4. Impressed with the people who can just turn up with minimal rehearsal!

I will have a chat with everyone at our next rehearsal, but I think it will just be some shrugging of shoulders without any real progress.

I am a bit loathe to find another band because it took me quite a few months to find this one - guitar players are ten a penny, and I'm not the greatest player in the world!

Only you can decide. Playing in an amateur/hobby band requires comprise from everyone or it can turn sour very fast. I'm going to quote the bridge lyrics from one of my own songs - one I wrote after the demise of my last band.

It didn't last, they never do
We ran at different speeds, and couldn't talk it through
We wanted different things, no-ones to blame
And if we had the chance, I think we'd do it all again

Good luck! :-)

Snags · January 29

You definitely need to have a conversation about people's expectations, desires and realities.

I fell into a band situation, and when we started it was weekly rehearsals because there were already gigs booked and we all had to learn the singer's set list in short order, and the singer had to modify what they were doing now they had a band. Through that we agreed that the ultimate goal was one gig a month, and one rehearsal a month, once things settled.

This has now morphed into no more than two gigs a month, and we still rehearse every week. Partly because one band member seems to have no other social outlet in their life, partly because it's fun, and partly because the rest of us have multiple commitments to family/other things that mean we simply don't want to be gigging every week. But also because every time we play somewhere, they want us back, and new venues want us, and so we keep squeezing dates in to be helpful. Which is why we're in the middle of a four week run of solid gigs (but then a gap, we've kept to 24 for 2026 overall, just in clusters).

Whistler · January 29

allen said:
... guitar players are ten a penny, and I'm not the greatest player in the world!

Heed the advice given by Emory Gordy Jr. to Vince Gill when Vince was a young player, "Whatever you do, don't be the best player in the band - you'll never learn anything."

Logie · March 25

@allen ;

“and while I'm complaining. We agreed to learn 10 new songs recently. I spent bloody hours memorising all of them and nailing the solos, including the one in 'Are you gonna go my way' which I found fairly challenging. Except when we had the next rehearsal it turned out that nobody else had bothered much beyond having a little dabble and didn't really know the songs.”

My pet hate. I make it my mission to learn the songs agreed on and in the ( admittedly few ) bands I’ve played in, I am generally the only one who’s been arsed to do it.

Frustrating for an anal retentive like myself and usually signals my exit.

I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t play well with others

26.2 · March 26

Logie said:

@allen ;

“and while I'm complaining. We agreed to learn 10 new songs recently. I spent bloody hours memorising all of them and nailing the solos, including the one in 'Are you gonna go my way' which I found fairly challenging. Except when we had the next rehearsal it turned out that nobody else had bothered much beyond having a little dabble and didn't really know the songs.”

My pet hate. I make it my mission to learn the songs agreed on and in the ( admittedly few ) bands I’ve played in, I am generally the only one who’s been arsed to do it.

Frustrating for an anal retentive like myself and usually signals my exit.

I’ve come to the conclusion I don’t play well with others

Yes this a red flag for me too. Doing homework is an absolute basic requirement as is having decent gear that works, not being a dickhead etc

Perhaps though, just dishing out 10 to learn is too much in one lump. What about about saying something like: ‘for next week let’s all get these 4 absolutely sorted, no excuses’?

Slower progress but might not be as difficult for the laggards. If they can’t even do that, then I’d drop out.

Cols · March 26

It’s all a question of whether it’s a priority for the band members or not. If it is, they’ll make the time. If it’s not, you’ll never get anywhere with arranging gigs. The mindset has to be “I can do something that weekend if I don’t have a gig on” rather than “I can do a gig that weekend as long as I don’t have anything else on”.

Obviously there’s some red lines - family birthdays, anniversaries, annual hols - but if it’s a case of “can’t do that weekend, going out for beers with some friends”; “the football’s on”; “I’ve been invited for a cocktail party”; “just not feeling well” then the band is low on the list of the priorities and won’t ever gain any momentum.

Logie said:

We agreed to learn 10 new songs recently. I spent bloody hours memorising all of them and nailing the solos, including the one in 'Are you gonna go my way' which I found fairly challenging. Except when we had the next rehearsal it turned out that nobody else had bothered much beyond having a little dabble and didn't really know the songs.

That’s a problem. Band rehearsals aren’t for learning new songs, they’re for getting them to work in a band context. If someone turns up not having learned their own material no-one’s going to teach it to them in the next few hours. I know the bass line in Are You Gonna Go My Way is tricky and crucial to making the song work, but I wouldn’t be able to show a bass player how it goes.

Danny1969 · March 26

For rehearsals the parts need to be what we call "first fixed" ... that's a building trade term which means the basic structure is up and all the services are basically there but it's unfinished in terms of frames, plaster, trim and decor etc.

You can then see if the songs gonna work and pick a key. If it sounds good then next rehearsal is 2nd fixed so all parts polished. This saves time. For example I'm not gonna work out all the part and a complicated solo note for note and the keyboard player isn't going to sound design and map the keyboard for a song that's not a defo goer till that first fix sounds good enough.

Across 4 bands I get constant song suggestions and only about 25% ever make it to gigging. So I find this is the best use of my time. It also stops the "I've spent days learning this tune so we are dong it even if it doesn't suit the band" problem that can occur if players become too attached to a song simply because they have invested a lot of time on it.

As I mentioned before money is the best motivator as decent gig money, even after the tax, can mean the difference between a weeks holiday in Bournemouth or 2 weeks in the Caribbean ... so even the missus is prepared to put up with you out the door on a regular basis. The trouble is though, it's a chicken and egg situation. It takes time to build the band up to decent money earning status. You have to start somewhere. So the trick is being able to see what bunch has the potential to get where you want to be as quickly as possible. All you can do is trust your instincts and don't waste too much time on anyone who you can see isn't that interested.

rze99 · March 26

We spend all out time on WhatsApp trying to get evenings together. Too many family fun, travel, work all sorts of commitments.

Bluddifustrating is right!

HAL9000 · April 1

Agree with all the above. People like the idea of being in a band, but don’t want the commitment or the work that actually being in a band entails.

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General meaningless rant about band member availability

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