Music that makes you think "who actually buys this"

jonnyburgo

The Lighthouse Family. Sold a gazillion albums in the 90s. Who bought it though, I mean it's just nothing music, sort of a wimpy background hum performed by two gimps that look and sound like lobotomised Estate Agents. I imagine it's what Dave Lee Travis might have in his car for a nice Sunday drive, music for people who aren't into music I just don't get it, its the wettest most anodyne drivel, like a soft beige aural turd floating down a stream towards the 5 CD's for £1 shelf in a charity shop. It's neither interesting or soulful, which "quiet" music can be if done right. Just shit shop music wafting across Oak Furniture Land or some other bland Retail Park store, the kind of places that feel like slow Sunday death soundtracked by "Ocean Drive". Listening to it just makes you want to give up.

BillDL

I would rather be stuck in a lift over a holiday weekend with Jedward and have Richard Clayderman playing endlessly in a loop than listen to a Lighthouse Family song, let alone a full album.  I only know one person that liked the Lighthouse Family, and he enthused over it.  He smoked a huge amount of weed and was out of his head most of the time though.

Philly_Q

Any mention of the Lighthouse Family immediately makes me think of The Christians.  I'm sure it's possible to tell them apart if you listen back-to-back, but in my mind they're completely indistinguishable pap.  Sliced white bread music, with the crusts cut off.

DrCornelius

I liked Ocean Drive.  There, I’ve said it

jonnyburgo

Philly_Q said:

Any mention of the Lighthouse Family immediately makes me think of The Christians.  I'm sure it's possible to tell them apart if you listen back-to-back, but in my mind they're completely indistinguishable pap.  Sliced white bread music, with the crusts cut off.

A big difference is that The Christians were trying to address social issues in their lyrics, which possibly went over the heads of casual listeners who just like the tunes.

ICBM

Offensively inoffensive, if that’s possible.

Train are the American version. I accidentally bought one of their albums from a charity shop not knowing who they were and thinking it was going to be Americana of some sort… wrong, it’s one of the very few albums I couldn’t even listen to all the way through once.

munckee

Simply red always baffled me.  What was the point.  

Sporky

jonnyburgo said:

A big difference is that The Christians were trying to address social issues in their lyrics, which possibly went over the heads of casual listeners who just like the tunes.

Whereas no-one knows - or can ever know - what The Lighthouse Family's songs were about, as they trigger a defensive reflex in the brain that shuts down higher processing to protect from greater harm. 

fastonebaz

Oasis. Just whining drivel.

Any form of dance or rap music. 

Sporky

Any pop (including rock, heavy metal, blah blah blah) recorded more than 25 years ago. That might be generous. 

If it was any good, you've already heard it too many times. If it wasn't, you've already heard it far too many times. 

jonnyburgo

Simon Bates Our Tune griefwank music where the names have been changed to protect their "Idendidees" Oh fuck off.

darthed1981

Honestly, none.

World is a miserable nasty place at times, and even music I personally consider unlistenable (which for me includes any metal where the singer goes "grrrrrrrrrrrrrrghhhh" instead of singing), if it brings someone somewhere happiness, entertainment or even solace, it deserves to exist.

Sorry if that sounds like preachy virtue signalling, hope you all know I'm not like that, it's honestly what I think.

thecolourbox

ICBM said:

Offensively inoffensive, if that’s possible.

Train are the American version. I accidentally bought one of their albums from a charity shop not knowing who they were and thinking it was going to be Americana of some sort… wrong, it’s one of the very few albums I couldn’t even listen to all the way through once.

I quite liked Drops of Jupiter to be honest, but can only think of one other thing I've ever heard by them and yes, indeed, it was absolute drivel 

snowblind

Beyonce. Don't know why but one of the few singers for whom I will actually get up and turn the radio off.

If someone can explain why AC/DC live with Brian Johnson sounding like he's having a colonoscopy with no sedative is a preferable noise to the nice lady who seems to try to cram every note on the scale into one syllable then I'd be interested to hear the theory.

 

Litterick

Live

theatreanchor

fastonebaz said:

Oasis. Just whining drivel.

Any form of dance or rap music. 

Nothing electronic? I feel quite sad for you. 

viz

jonnyburgo said:

The Lighthouse Family. Sold a gazillion albums in the 90s. Who bought it though, I mean it's just nothing music, sort of a wimpy background hum performed by two gimps that look and sound like lobotomised Estate Agents. I imagine it's what Dave Lee Travis might have in his car for a nice Sunday drive, music for people who aren't into music I just don't get it, its the wettest most anodyne drivel, like a soft beige aural turd floating down a stream towards the 5 CD's for £1 shelf in a charity shop. It's neither interesting or soulful, which "quiet" music can be if done right. Just shit shop music wafting across Oak Furniture Land or some other bland Retail Park store, the kind of places that feel like slow Sunday death soundtracked by "Ocean Drive". Listening to it just makes you want to give up.

One of the best posts in history! But I think you answered your own question!

ICBM

The funny thing is that in my band, I’m “the one who likes lightweight mainstream pop music” and I have no shame about admitting it… but I really draw the line at the Lighthouse Family. The singer can’t even really sing, he just drones tunelessly over some of the most forgettable pap ever recorded - presumably someone at their record company must have realised there was a vast market for this sort of wallpaper, since I can’t think of any other reason it’s been inflicted on the world.

robinbowes

Paraphrasing:

”How can anyone like something I don’t like?”

Ocean Drive sold 1.8million copies (6-times platinum), so clearly a lot of people liked it.

You don’t have to like everything that is popular.

RocknRollDave

robinbowes said:

Paraphrasing:

”How can anyone like something I don’t like?”

Ocean Drive sold 1.8million copies (6-times platinum), so clearly a lot of people liked it.

You don’t have to like everything that is popular.

I think another way to look at the question is: what are people getting out of this music?

Winny_Pooh

Funny thread. My ex used to really like Lighthouse Family in her 20's before we met. She was depressed at the time and maybe the lyrics weren't too dark, that's my take on it. 
In her defense, she really loves jazz, classical and lots of other good music, including ACDC.

Lots of music I don't enjoy and think is quite bad I can often try and see why others do.