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Hopefully they're all a decent bunch.
Otherwise the following may help
1. Don't tell them you're leaving them for another band. Seriously, you'll just get the whole "what has she got that I haven't"
1. b) doubly so if you're already involved with other band, you dirty git
2. Expect them to tell you they can change. Don't believe it.
3. Make sure you sort custody of any joint possessions amicably.
4. Don't go with "it's not you it's me"
If the reason is more music-related, well I think it should be the same approach. That’s also perfectly rational - just say you want to play something slightly different and you feel they need someone fully committed to that sort of music.
Supportact said: [my style is] probably more an accumulation of limitations and bad habits than a 'style'.
If it’s a good band or one that’s been together a while prepare for a sense of heartbreak after. It’s hard to describe and if it’s a good one (even if things are not working at the moment) you may feel a sense of loss for years. Prepare yourself for that.
With regards to the break, just don’t fudge around the point. Like a relationship, dragging it out with excuses is the worst thing -if you try to soften the blow, everyone is left unclear about what is happening.
When I left my last band (I was the drummer) it was because I just wasn't enjoying it anymore.
I'd just had a hernia operation and we were due to play a festival, however I didn't think I was up to it.
When they suggested getting a dep in I feigned offence and suggested they might want a permanent replacement.
Fortunately they found a dep who went on to be the next permanent drummer and everyone was a winner!
(Edit: Me wanting to leave was nothing to do with the suspicion I was going to be asked to fund the new album due to the fact I had come into a bit of money, no way, not at all).
When I quit I was told to "nob off then" and that was that. lmao.
I've done it twice. My timeline goes something like this...
2013 - Quit BlackHawkDown (band carries on).
2014 - Start Closed Circuit.
2016 - Quit Closed Circuit (band dies).
2016 - BHD ask me to stand in for a few gigs. I do it.
2017 - BHD ask me to replace my replacement, I rejoin the band.
2019 - Closed Circuit gets revived, I'm back where I started.
Judge my success appropriately.
So I was just open and honest with the guys, and I was expecting some serious pain "in the air". But it was fine. Of course they regret it as well, but they were cool with my decision & reasoning. Now I see that they are searching for a replacement, which is probably the weirdest part for me now. But I will move on sooner or later
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