Roger's Profanisaurus Magna Farta

RandallFlagg

The lads at work have this on the desk and we read a few out at randon every morning, truly hilarious, a must read book:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51nI5wRtBAL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

"Johnny No Stars" and "Skeggy Donkey" are a couple of selected favourites

kaypeejay

We used to have a dog eared copy of the mini profanisaurus at work, one of the funniest things I have ever read!!

Bridgehouse

I have it in the downstairs loo at home.

Essential reading for guests

Dopesick

I got the old Rogers Profanisaurus...was a great way to kill time. The hardest part is trying to remember all the best ones because there's so many.

Although I do love 'Scousers Laptop' (a pizza).

hotpot

RandallFlagg said:

The lads at work have this on the desk and we read a few out at randon every morning, truly hilarious, a must read book:

https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51nI5wRtBAL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

"Johnny No Stars" and "Skeggy Donkey" are a couple of selected favourites

Thanks for the heads up on this.

Being a fan of VIZ I picked up a copy of this book off ebay last week, As I spend hours in hospital/clinic/doctors waiting rooms every week with my elderly parents I thought this would be the perfect waiting room reading material.

I got a thumbs up from a chap this morning in Bolton General eye dept waiting room whilst waiting on dad (injection in the eyeball) who shouted My sons got this at home, it's bloody daft  lol.

Sesh

If anyone has the hard back version and hasn't looked under the dust jacket, then you should do so.

hotpot

Sesh said:

If anyone has the hard back version and hasn't looked under the dust jacket, then you should do so.

Bugger! I need to know. I'm still going through the 'A's'.  funny as fuck.......The Term Amidships, .............A polite term used by cricket commentators to describe the knackers & cock 'Ohh Aggers! That delivery was pitched long, swung back in from middle and off and caught him squarely amidships. 'Yes, Johnners. The poor cunt must be in fucking agony. More Cake!'

Sesh

My version:

http://i.imgur.com/raJ7aC1.jpg

Inside:

http://i.imgur.com/rQcIhjl.jpg

bingefeller

Sesh said:

My version:

http://i.imgur.com/raJ7aC1.jpg

Inside:

http://i.imgur.com/rQcIhjl.jpg

I didn't think they were allowed to put pictures of alcohol and cigarettes on book covers and such?  

richardhomer

It has to be the most purile piece of humour ever produced.

I love it....

RandallFlagg

fantastic. I'm going to get a copy for home revision.

Hoof

A genuinely essential modern reference book!

CHRISB50

One of my mates used to buy Viz religiously. He wrote in a few times and had one of his letters featured. He proudly reported he'd had four shits that day, and enquired if anyone could beat his total. 

Due to the resounding response, Viz ran a feature in the following copy with a map of the UK showing which areas of the country shit the most. 

My friend who wrote the original letter lost the copies years back. It's his 40th this year so we wanted to get him something special. Another friend wrote to Viz and asked how he could get hold of the two back issues. He managed to find the letter and subsequent survey were on the website but they weren't dated. 

The lovely people at Viz sent two pristine copies at their own cost. They also included a card for my mate James, with some hand drawn cartoons of Roger Mellie and the Fat Slags, wishing him happy birthday. 

A nice gesture I'm sure you'll agree. 

Iamnobody

You can get the app as well - worth £2 of anyone's money...

http://www.profanisaurusapp.com/iphone.html

Bridgehouse

I think there's a new entry that needs to go in now:

Theresa - n. An unmitigated, total and utter misjudgement leading to a disaster of clusterfuck proportions.

I remember this one time when I was out and about on the campaign trail with Gove, and we saw this homeless guy outside Poundland in Bromsgrove. Govey decided it was a good idea to whip his pobber out and piss all over the pleb - unfortunately there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his pissy stream back all over his trousers.

"Christ, Govey," I said, fighting back the sniggers, "You've made a right fucking Theresa there..."

My Posh Memoirs, Lord Archibald Fitzroy Blenkinsop Wankchampion, former MP of Greater Surrey 

RandallFlagg

Bridgehouse said:

I think there's a new entry that needs to go in now:

Theresa - n. An unmitigated, total and utter misjudgement leading to a disaster of clusterfuck proportions.

I remember this one time when I was out and about on the campaign trail with Gove, and we saw this homeless guy outside Poundland in Bromsgrove. Govey decided it was a good idea to whip his pobber out and piss all over the pleb - unfortunately there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his pissy stream back all over his trousers.

"Christ, Govey," I said, fighting back the sniggers, "You've made a right fucking Theresa there..."

My Posh Memoirs, Lord Archibald Fitzroy Blenkinsop Wankchampion, former MP of Greater Surrey 

Surprisingly funny for you Bridgy

RandallFlagg

CHRISB50 said:

One of my mates used to buy Viz religiously. He wrote in a few times and had one of his letters featured. He proudly reported he'd had four shits that day, and enquired if anyone could beat his total. 

Due to the resounding response, Viz ran a feature in the following copy with a map of the UK showing which areas of the country shit the most. 

My friend who wrote the original letter lost the copies years back. It's his 40th this year so we wanted to get him something special. Another friend wrote to Viz and asked how he could get hold of the two back issues. He managed to find the letter and subsequent survey were on the website but they weren't dated. 

The lovely people at Viz sent two pristine copies at their own cost. They also included a card for my mate James, with some hand drawn cartoons of Roger Mellie and the Fat Slags, wishing him happy birthday. 

A nice gesture I'm sure you'll agree. 

A touching and lovely story, warms the heart in this 'drab and colourless world' (oblique lyric reference from 1979...answers on a postcard)

Bridgehouse

RandallFlagg said:

Bridgehouse said:

I think there's a new entry that needs to go in now:

Theresa - n. An unmitigated, total and utter misjudgement leading to a disaster of clusterfuck proportions.

I remember this one time when I was out and about on the campaign trail with Gove, and we saw this homeless guy outside Poundland in Bromsgrove. Govey decided it was a good idea to whip his pobber out and piss all over the pleb - unfortunately there was a sudden gust of wind which blew his pissy stream back all over his trousers.

"Christ, Govey," I said, fighting back the sniggers, "You've made a right fucking Theresa there..."

My Posh Memoirs, Lord Archibald Fitzroy Blenkinsop Wankchampion, former MP of Greater Surrey 

Surprisingly funny for you Bridgy

Steady now.. I have my moments.

I was brought up on Profanisaurus, and see it as my default humour.

hotpot

Sesh said:

My version:

http://i.imgur.com/raJ7aC1.jpg

Inside:

http://i.imgur.com/rQcIhjl.jpg

LOLOL Love it, The hardback version looks even better.

RocknRollDave

RandallFlagg said:

CHRISB50 said:

One of my mates used to buy Viz religiously. He wrote in a few times and had one of his letters featured. He proudly reported he'd had four shits that day, and enquired if anyone could beat his total. 

Due to the resounding response, Viz ran a feature in the following copy with a map of the UK showing which areas of the country shit the most. 

My friend who wrote the original letter lost the copies years back. It's his 40th this year so we wanted to get him something special. Another friend wrote to Viz and asked how he could get hold of the two back issues. He managed to find the letter and subsequent survey were on the website but they weren't dated. 

The lovely people at Viz sent two pristine copies at their own cost. They also included a card for my mate James, with some hand drawn cartoons of Roger Mellie and the Fat Slags, wishing him happy birthday. 

A nice gesture I'm sure you'll agree. 

A touching and lovely story, warms the heart in this 'drab and colourless world' (oblique lyric reference from 1979...answers on a postcard)

Is it Wasteland by The Jam, from Setting Sons, later covered by Smiths-wannabe 90's band Gene?

RandallFlagg

RocknRollDave said:

RandallFlagg said:

CHRISB50 said:

One of my mates used to buy Viz religiously. He wrote in a few times and had one of his letters featured. He proudly reported he'd had four shits that day, and enquired if anyone could beat his total. 

Due to the resounding response, Viz ran a feature in the following copy with a map of the UK showing which areas of the country shit the most. 

My friend who wrote the original letter lost the copies years back. It's his 40th this year so we wanted to get him something special. Another friend wrote to Viz and asked how he could get hold of the two back issues. He managed to find the letter and subsequent survey were on the website but they weren't dated. 

The lovely people at Viz sent two pristine copies at their own cost. They also included a card for my mate James, with some hand drawn cartoons of Roger Mellie and the Fat Slags, wishing him happy birthday. 

A nice gesture I'm sure you'll agree. 

A touching and lovely story, warms the heart in this 'drab and colourless world' (oblique lyric reference from 1979...answers on a postcard)

Is it Wasteland by The Jam, from Setting Sons, later covered by Smiths-wannabe 90's band Gene?

Correct. 10 points to you @RocknRollDave