Signs that a Guitar magazine has nothing to talk about

Telejester

Ravenous said:

Telejester said:

Does anyone want to read that Drzyminoyskovit Grrrmmmynizipitivochkin can play at 3200 BPM ?

Read it, I can't even say it!

Rotflmao

Jetfire

Telejester said:

Does anyone want to read that Drzyminoyskovit Grrrmmmynizipitivochkin can play at 3200 BPM ?

Id rather read that than another bloooz article.

Sassafras

This could well be the last overdrive pedal you'll ever need!
Yeah, right.

Telejester

Jetfire said:

Telejester said:

Does anyone want to read that Drzyminoyskovit Grrrmmmynizipitivochkin can play at 3200 BPM ?

Id rather read that than another bloooz article.

I wouldn't mind an in depth Philip sayce feature, a look at that astonishing vibrato and a real good insight to his super reverb and work he has had done on it. I wonder do guitarist have Clapton sitting there with a caffeine drip in his arm as nev martin drones on asking him about his stolen LP and the Beano album.

Funkfingers

EricTheWeary said:

I liked the long form interviews you got in the US magazines where you would go from pick size to inspiration and ideas. That approach disappeared a long time ago though. 

That sort of interview probably died with Jerry Garcia. 

Two of my favourite magazine interview compilation books are New Directions In Modern Guitar and Brave New Bass. Published 1986 and 2003, respectively. The topics covered sometimes stretch back earlier. Successive interviews with the same artiste can prove enlightening.

The 1986 guitar book makes it all too obvious how little some things have changed. Talking/writing about music is still comparable to dancing about architecture. Anyone who really wanted to reproduce, say, the guitar stunt noises of Adrian Belew would have been better served by watching moving pictures of him. (Pushing the neck of a Stratocaster in its pocket produces a different bendy effect to using the twangbar.) 

EricTheWeary

Funkfingers said:

EricTheWeary said:

I liked the long form interviews you got in the US magazines where you would go from pick size to inspiration and ideas. That approach disappeared a long time ago though. 

That sort of interview probably died with Jerry Garcia. 

Two of my favourite magazine interview compilation books are New Directions In Modern Guitar and Brave New Bass. Published 1986 and 2003, respectively. The topics covered sometimes stretch back earlier. Successive interviews with the same artiste can prove enlightening.

The 1986 guitar book makes it all too obvious how little some things have changed. Talking/writing about music is still comparable to dancing about architecture. Anyone who really wanted to reproduce, say, the guitar stunt noises of Adrian Belew would have been better served by watching moving pictures of him. (Pushing the neck of a Stratocaster in its pocket produces a different bendy effect to using the twangbar.) 

The long form interview in GP meant that a magazine was effectively only about that artist for that issue and that rock guitarists would work through a Jim Hall interview because they knew they would find something of relevance and the jazz guitarists would buy and read the issue with a 20 page on article on Steve Vai. I guess there are relatively few people who will do that now and probably relatively few guitarists who really have much to say. 

scrumhalf

They'll never publish the kind of articles that would make for really interesting reading.

1) Comparing the state of new guitars (same model, same spec) from various dealers across the country.
2) Rip-off retailers.
3) Overpriced gear.
4) What gear is used by local bands. It's all well and good reading that Drzyminoyskovit Grrrmmmynizipitivochkin uses cables made by Tibetan monks from unicorn hide at £30,000 each but for the average gig by the average band that's irrelevant.
5) Gig guide - not big-arena gigs but smaller stuff by bands you might not heave heard of.

Telejester

scrumhalf said:

They'll never publish the kind of articles that would make for really interesting reading.

1) Comparing the state of new guitars (same model, same spec) from various dealers across the country.
2) Rip-off retailers.
3) Overpriced gear.
4) What gear is used by local bands. It's all well and good reading that Drzyminoyskovit Grrrmmmynizipitivochkin uses cables made by Tibetan monks from unicorn hide at £30,000 each but for the average gig by the average band that's irrelevant.
5) Gig guide - not big-arena gigs but smaller stuff by bands you might not heave heard of.

I read that Rob Chapman is giving away one of those cables with every purchase of his " your Chapman guitar won't stay in tune worth a damn ? " book.

Funkfingers

scrumhalf said:
They'll never publish the kind of articles that would make for really interesting reading.

Here's why.

1. Bad for business. File under "How to displease advertisers and lose revenue."
2. By definition, all commerce profits at the expense of somebody else. Purchases are not compulsory.
3. Goods are worth whatever the market will bear. If ya can't afford it, do without.
4. [Head butts wall in frustration.] It's not the gear. It's what you do with it. *
5. Lead times for the printing of national magazines tend to be about six weeks. Thus, gig/tour listings need to be submitted at least that long before the appearances occur. Other than wedding/function bands, how many acts in your county are getting booked that far ahead?

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:No_one_cares_about_your_garage_band

Telejester

Funkfingers said:

scrumhalf said:
They'll never publish the kind of articles that would make for really interesting reading.

Here's why.

1. Bad for business. File under "How to displease advertisers and lose revenue."
2. By definition, all commerce profits at the expense of somebody else. Purchases are not compulsory.
3. Goods are worth whatever the market will bear. If ya can't afford it, do without.
4. [Head butts wall in frustration.] It's not the gear. It's what you do with it. *
5. Lead times for the printing of national magazines tend to be about six weeks. Thus, gig/tour listings need to be submitted at least that long before the appearances occur. Other than wedding/function bands, how many acts in your county are getting booked that far ahead?

* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:No_one_cares_about_your_garage_band

Sadly true, the net is full of heaped praise from Tom " it's great " Quayle and the off the shelf mags are more of the same. Brave mag that shows nev martin grinning like a Cheshire cat whilst he steps out of a ford cortina that has left a line 6 spider 5 in bits on the Road behind it.

Telejester

Have a magazine take an amp, take a look at it and see what you get for your money. Take it apart, if its well made highlight the good points, if it looks like it was thrown together in Pugh's shed say so and show how a UK buyer could get fleeced. A lot more interesting than a cover story   on the colour of satriani's  new guitar this week and how much Tom Quayle loves it, the kind of reading I'd pay for gladly.

Dave_Mc

Is this a bit like that lawyer joke, "When their lips are moving?"

darthed1981

scrumhalf said:

They'll never publish the kind of articles that would make for really interesting reading.

1) Comparing the state of new guitars (same model, same spec) from various dealers across the country.
2) Rip-off retailers.
3) Overpriced gear.
4) What gear is used by local bands. It's all well and good reading that Drzyminoyskovit Grrrmmmynizipitivochkin uses cables made by Tibetan monks from unicorn hide at £30,000 each but for the average gig by the average band that's irrelevant.
5) Gig guide - not big-arena gigs but smaller stuff by bands you might not heave heard of.

We should start an internet magazine - Fretboard Monthly - with exactly these things in it.

Let's get people into playing guitar as a cheap hobby - because with the superb quality of entry level gear now, someone can get started with a full rig for £200, and a giggable rig for £500.  And that's NEW!

Philly_Q

EricTheWeary said:

Funkfingers said:

EricTheWeary said:

I liked the long form interviews you got in the US magazines where you would go from pick size to inspiration and ideas. That approach disappeared a long time ago though. 

That sort of interview probably died with Jerry Garcia. 

Two of my favourite magazine interview compilation books are New Directions In Modern Guitar and Brave New Bass. Published 1986 and 2003, respectively. The topics covered sometimes stretch back earlier. Successive interviews with the same artiste can prove enlightening.

The 1986 guitar book makes it all too obvious how little some things have changed. Talking/writing about music is still comparable to dancing about architecture. Anyone who really wanted to reproduce, say, the guitar stunt noises of Adrian Belew would have been better served by watching moving pictures of him. (Pushing the neck of a Stratocaster in its pocket produces a different bendy effect to using the twangbar.) 

The long form interview in GP meant that a magazine was effectively only about that artist for that issue and that rock guitarists would work through a Jim Hall interview because they knew they would find something of relevance and the jazz guitarists would buy and read the issue with a 20 page on article on Steve Vai. I guess there are relatively few people who will do that now and probably relatively few guitarists who really have much to say. 

I still like Guitar Player because they have lots of (short) interviews with people I've never heard of and cover a very broad range of musical styles.  I hardly ever go out and investigate those players' music, but it's interesting to read about them.

Guitar (G&B, whatever it's now called) is interesting for the in-depth gear features and private collections. 

Guitarist isn't really very interesting at all, and rarely features anything or anyone I haven't read about before.

I still buy all three.  I can't kick the habit.

DulcetJones

RocknRollDave said:

Guitar magazine (Guitar and Bass , as was) is excellent. Always liked it but it has really ramped up the quality of late.

I've only bought a few of the various guitar mags out there lately, the two issues of Guitar Magazine with the "Guitar Classics" header are the only two I really feel are worth the money.  One is "All About Guitar" and the other is "Essential Tone Tips, Mods & Upgrades".  These two issues have so much useful info about the care, maintenance and adjustments involving guitars and amps that I keep them on hand for reference.  I'm quite amazed that so many print versions of guitar mags are still available.  I guess I've gotten away from wanting to read interviews and rig rundowns so maybe that's it. 

EricTheWeary

Philly_Q said:

EricTheWeary said:

Funkfingers said:

EricTheWeary said:

I liked the long form interviews you got in the US magazines where you would go from pick size to inspiration and ideas. That approach disappeared a long time ago though. 

That sort of interview probably died with Jerry Garcia. 

Two of my favourite magazine interview compilation books are New Directions In Modern Guitar and Brave New Bass. Published 1986 and 2003, respectively. The topics covered sometimes stretch back earlier. Successive interviews with the same artiste can prove enlightening.

The 1986 guitar book makes it all too obvious how little some things have changed. Talking/writing about music is still comparable to dancing about architecture. Anyone who really wanted to reproduce, say, the guitar stunt noises of Adrian Belew would have been better served by watching moving pictures of him. (Pushing the neck of a Stratocaster in its pocket produces a different bendy effect to using the twangbar.) 

The long form interview in GP meant that a magazine was effectively only about that artist for that issue and that rock guitarists would work through a Jim Hall interview because they knew they would find something of relevance and the jazz guitarists would buy and read the issue with a 20 page on article on Steve Vai. I guess there are relatively few people who will do that now and probably relatively few guitarists who really have much to say. 

I still like Guitar Player because they have lots of (short) interviews with people I've never heard of and cover a very broad range of musical styles.  I hardly ever go out and investigate those players' music, but it's interesting to read about them.

Guitar (G&B, whatever it's now called) is interesting for the in-depth gear features and private collections. 

Guitarist isn't really very interesting at all, and rarely features anything or anyone I haven't read about before.

I still buy all three.  I can't kick the habit.

I haven't read a GP for a bit and rarely see it in the shops but, yes, there's usually a much broader range musically. I always remember a feature on a guy who played in a circus and they often have classical, jazz, more experimental stuff alongside the rock and blues. British guitar mags seem to have heard of classic rock, bit of metal and indie. 

bacchanalian

I subscribed to Guitarist up until very recently. I found it had become a bit repetitive and lacked depth.  I will probably buy it occasionally if there looks like something interesting is featured. 

dindude

Guitarist in the late 80's was a great read, then US Guitar Player was the benchmark in the 90's with great in depth interviews and they would often round up, say, 20 different valve amps for review. I still buy magazines but I rarely read them cover to cover.

axisus

Actually guitarist is not that bad compared to womens magazines. I was in a waiting room a while ago and flicked through some girly rag (cos it had Louise Redknapp on the cover). It was a thick tome and no joke, it was about 75% adverts! You couldn't find any of the few articles without looking them up in the contents.

Neil

We have all become jaded because guitar info is bombarding us from all sides since the advent of the internet.

As well as free tuition, (that you can actually see being played), there are forums such as this full of anecdotes and advice.   We lack for nothing.

A far cry from when I would keep checking John Menzies in Epsom to see if the new Guitarist mag was in, buying it and then disappearing for a couple of hours devouring its contents, ads and all.

Those days are sadly past now and it's all just meh.