Funniest gag? whatever

RandallFlagg

""I'm not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change."

I wouldn't give it a highly coveted Fretboard LOL yet alone an award.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-40999000

chillidoggy

I'd have given it a Facepalm.

In my head, obv.

sgosden

ironic lol awarded

Bygone_Tones

It's all in the delivery though innit?

RandallFlagg

Bygone_Tones said:

It's all in the delivery though innit?

clearly not something you have mastered

Guitar_Slinger

 Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot, which produced hard skin on his feet. He also ate very little and had breath.  This made him a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

That was probably on an early '90s edition of Blankety Blank.

ourmaninthenorth

Shakespeare walks into a pub, the Landlord says "get out, you're Bard " 

Chalky

The key factor in these types of one-liners made famous by Stu Francis, Tim Vine, Milton Jones, and suchlike, is the use of a common phrase, colloquialism or quote. And 'I hate all change' is not of that type.  It jars instead of smoothly deceiving your expectation.

A better example is the third place one by Alexei Sayle - "I've given up asking rhetorical questions. What's the point?"

fields5069

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog seller in New York and say "Chilli dog with onions please".

fretmeister

I remember reading an article about supposedly the funniest joke ever written.

The idea was that it sounded dirty, but it was actually clean. It was only the listener who assumed the dirt, the embarrassment adding to the impact of the humour


Did you hear about the couple that got their putty and KY jelly mixed up?

All their windows fell out.

scrumhalf

roundthebend

@fretmeister ;
I made up a joke in the same kind of style as that. We've all heard the classic:

2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "How do you drive this thing?"

Well I think it works better to say:

2 soldiers in a tank, one says to the other "Flubb-a-blub-bflub-a-blub" (it was a fish tank)

Snap

Its worth checking out the 70s show The Comedians, some real masters on there. Old school, clean, and clever. Even Manning was genuinely funny on that show (as opposed to racist and rank).

Jim Bowen did a routine about getting into a hot bath, that's quite funny.

Peter Kay built his entire thing on this sort of stuff really.

HAL9000

Applicant to become a Trappist monk gets told 'No chants'.

marantz1300

 A Dwarf with a big cock!

axisus

Please create a password ....

Hmmmn ..... [types] P E N I S 

Your password isn't long enough

GSPBASSES

 

An Arab Sheikh was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery,
but prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to have
some of his blood type stored in case the need arose.
  
As the gentleman had an extremely rare type of blood
that couldn't be found locally, the call went out around the world.
 
Finally a Scotsman was located who had the same rare blood type.
After some coaxing, the Scot donated his blood for the Arab.
  
After the surgery the Arab sent the Scotsman a new BMW, a diamond necklace for his wife,
and$100,000 US dollars in appreciation for the blood donation.
  
A few months later, the Arab had to undergo
a corrective  surgery procedure.
  
Once again, his doctor telephoned the Scotsman
who this time was more than happy to donate his blood.
  

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Scotsman a thank-you card
and a box of Quality Street chocolates. The Scotsman was shocked
that the Arab did not reciprocate his kind gesture as he had anticipated.
  
He then phoned the Arab and asked him: "I thought you would be more generous than that -
last time you sent me a BMW, diamonds and money, but this time you only sent me a lousy
thank-you card and a crappy box of chocolates ?"




  
To this the Arab replied: "Aye laddie,
but I now have Scottish blood  in me veins".

HAL9000

To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet ... you can hide but you can't run.

- Milton Jones

jellyroll

I used to be a werewolf. But I'm alright nowwwwwwwwww.

boogieman

I saw a chameleon at the zoo....it was obviously a shit chameleon. 

RandallFlagg

Lols awarded - very good