GAS, or Give up?

monquixote

Been pondering this post for a while and I've put it in off topic because at this point I am very much going "off topic" and wondering what (if anything) I should do about it.

As many of you will know I left my band almost a year ago now. It was by mutual agreement and the change has been very positive for me. I'm less stressed, don't feel like I'm being pulled in multiple directions and I've lost three and a half stone.
Initially after leaving the band I played quite a bit and switched my rig around to be more suitable for home playing, but that has tailed off more recently. A couple of months back I had to pack my gear up so I could have my spare room replastered and it hasn't come back out again. Other than 15 minutes of playing acoustic at my mum's house last week I haven't played in about 10 weeks. I've been in spirals before where I stop playing and then can't get back into it because I get so frustrated at my rusty playing and I suspect that's where I'll be if I try and pick it up again.

I've just sold a couple of things off and have a grand or so in my GAS fund. I'm half pondering buying a Helix LT to see if it gives me a kick towards being interested in doing a bit more playing, but part of me thinks it will just end up in a cupboard gathering dust.

I'm pretty sure I don't want to be in a band any time soon ( I like gigging, but hate all the other shit that comes with it) and I have no inspiration for writing and recording these days.
It's been a big mental adjustment for me as I used to think of myself as a guitar player before just about anything else, but now I don't really think of myself in those terms at all.

It also puts me in a bit of a weird situation with this place as the only section I really contribute to is the running and weight loss threads so I'm not around very much which isn't really compatible with being one of the co-owners. 

So what do I do?  

Make an effort to recapture my interest in music, or just accept that people move on and my days as a musician are behind me?

mellowsun

Sounds like you are in a new life phase with something else that drives you - fitness is very addictive!

Doesn't have to be the end for the music though. Maybe informal jams with a buddy or two? And/or keep an acoustic?

crunchman

I wouldn't GAS for the sake of it if there is nothing you really want.

Neither would I get rid of everything.  I went through a time where I could have counted the number of times I got my electric out of its case in a year on the fingers of one hand.  Keep at least one guitar.

I don't know if you have an acoustic?  That's always worth having - even if it's just something to strum along while your kids sing.

Fretwired

Sounds like you've moved on ... as others have said keep something to noodle on. I quit for 20 years .. so there's hope you'll return one day.

joneve

Yep, what @mellowsun said. I went through the same thing some years ago when we moved into our first flat together. We didn't really have room for my guitar stuff to be out so they lived under the spare bed. this was nearly 10 year ago. 

I have since played a few times (at my wedding) and enjoy the occasional strum, but I wouldn't really consider myself a guitar player any more (never was really!!!). I sold all my guitars (7) bar 2 - a US Strat which was bought for me as a gift and I'll never part with and my Taylor GS mini. I even got rid of my custom built Morgan Guitars Merlin, because I just couldn't justify keeping it as it wasn't being played ever. 

I have to say, I don't "miss" playing guitar. I still enjoy it, but I've got other interests (triathlons) and just relaxing in front of the tv to wind down after a day's work is enough for me now! 

I'll always keep the two I have, as it's there if I want to come back to it. But don't let it worry you, embrace it! 

Neil

Move on.

I had a seventeen year hiatus and came fresh and vital to guitars.

It's obviously gone a bit stale for you and that's fine.

DiscoStu

I don't play much but not planning on giving up and getting rid of everything. My mate made that choice about 4 months ago, he never plays and his time is taken up with work/climbing/family. He advertised everything but not all of it sold and lo and behold about two weeks ago he posted a photo on Facebook of him playing his guitar in his garage!

Nothing wrong with not being in the mood right now and new interests are healthy for the mind so stay as you are. As for the forum, it's much the same. I don't have much to contribute but I still check in every day because I like the people on here and it's a great resource, both for the guitar stuff and off topic.

chillidoggy

I quit for 30 years. I couldn't do that again though because I'll be dead in another 30 year's time.

Lestratcaster

I left my band 6 months ago and at the time really wondered if I ever wanted to be in another band. I'm a private guitar tutor and do tech stuff in a mate's band so I'm still involved with the gigs and such, sometimes I fill in for the guitarists if one can make it. So its not the end, its just a different role for me at the moment, instead of being an official "member" that has to be at every practice, put money in for rehearsal rooms, studio time, etc etc I'm not needed for everything so can have some time out if want. I'm still involved in the writing and stuff so I'm still doing that, but again, not the full on pressure of being in the band. It kinda suits me at the moment and I'm enjoying it cos there's no pressure, its just good times and a lot of laughs. We're all good mates so there's no tension or egos.

If you genuinely love music you will come back to it or find something else like I did, a different role. As mentioned above, acoustic could be the way forward, jam nights, cover bands, online collabs, etc etc. The opportunities are endless.

guitarfishbay

Do what makes you happy.  That's always more important than what you think might make you happy.

thomasross20

I'm sort of going through the same... My immediate goals are to get back to the album at some point, which is mainly drum programming... and then to to a different sort of band... maybe even one-man show, basically instead of 80s rock guitar, it'll be acoustic fingerstyle and singing (hence buying an sm58). It's a different life phase for me, too, but trying not to quit or anything as you'll never get that guitar time back and might lose out overall in musical terms. Variety!

monquixote

Cheers for all the great replies chaps. 

I didn't expect the number of replies that suggested I just move on.

It's obvious really, but I can't get my head around not being "guitar guy"

I think an acoustic could be a good shout. I do like the kids seeing me playing the guitar and singing "Let it go" with my 4 year old girl is a bloody hoot.

TheBigDipper

Everyone goes through phases. Sometimes people find themselves forced into practicing and playing live out of duty to the other people in their band. Sometimes they find themselves playing and learning anything but the thing they should be doing - because it's more appealing at that moment, and fun, rather than a target, objective or obligation.

You're still a "guitar guy" if all you do for a while is sight-read chord charts and busk along with your kids. Maybe you're just a bit bored of being a "guitar gear guy" or a "guitarist-in-a-band guy".

FWIW, I had to stop playing with my band in 2016 (I needed chemo and wasn't able to be a reliable band member) and they replaced me - which was fine and understandable, there were gigs to play and it wasn't the sort of band you could just get a dep in for. (It was a prog-rock originals band with lots of idiosyncratic parts to learn). I've hardly touched an electric guitar with any serious intent since then - just played from time to time to make nice noises for fun. Acoustic, though, has been a different story. I'm revisiting finger-picking, doing a bit of writing and trying a bit harder to sing my stuff. Am I any less a "guitar guy"? I don't think so - and neither will you be! 

randella

TheBigDipper said:

Am I any less a "guitar guy"? I don't think so - and neither will you be! 

I think that's the whole thing neatly summed up - can you play the guitar?  Then you're "guitar guy"!

Winny_Pooh

Enjoy your time away. When and if you return it will be fresh. I think that a problem is that many of us play with a goal in mind like "doing X" or gigging or getting to a certain level. 
None of that motivates me anymore, only having fun and writing music as an accesory to having fun.
Go with the flow. If sitting on the edge of your bed with a guitar and an hour spare to muck around with no planned practice regimen doesn't inspire you to play then take a break until it does. 
Or find something that does. I play bass all the time and jam along to totally different music with it.  

CHRISB50

Perhaps you arent guitar guy any more. The only pressure you feel to be that guy, is the pressure you put on yourself. 

If you're not feeling it anymore. What's the point! 

People change. 

littlegreenman

Ebbs and flows @monquixote, you never stop being a musician, even if you stop playing the instrument. That just means you are no longer a "practising" musician at this point in time.

Even if you sell all your stuff and ostensibly give up you'll still be guitar guy, you just might not recognise him. He'll always be a part of who you were/ are.

In my late teens/ early twenties I was gigging and went to music college, etc. and then suddenly stopped, other areas of life took over and I totally didn't miss it (kept my kit though). Ten years later I went through a bit of a revival but it was fairly short-lived due to work and the frustration of lost skills you talked about.

Early fourties I got the bug again from the old MR forum Jams and I discovered writing and recording my own tunes which was awesome and I spent 5+ years playing more than ever and finally becoming the guitar guy I should have been all along. This too passed and I hardly play at all at the moment, although when I do it's to learn Allan Holdsworth chord progressions!

So I currently have 5 guitars, 2 basses, a shitload of pedals, 3 amps, Sonar and more plug-ins than I know what to do with but I'll not be getting rid of any of it because I know that when (not if) the bug bites again, I'll be ready to hit the ground running.

But that's just me.

By all means close the door, just don't bolt it shut.

Grunfeld

monquixote said:

So what do I do?  

Make an effort to recapture my interest in music, or just accept that people move on and my days as a musician are behind me?

EDIT:  [deleted a bit of an essay which sounded like a Tony Robbins monologue!  Ewwwk]

But the real point was playing guitar is something you’ve grafted for, and loads of people would love to be able to do what you take for granted and it's easy to forget how good it is to be able to play guitar as well as the extra ability to stand on stage and do it..  It’s a great skill and it’s worth having.

beed84

Strange how playing guitar is supposed to be an enjoyable hobby, yet for most of us we can feel utterly tortured by it, myself included.

Similar to the OP, I find myself in a conflict between classical and electric. It's an ongoing tussle. It was only today I was thinking of flogging my guitar and amp and raising a cool £1000 (again, like the OP). But then I played it soon after and thought, could I ever be without it even though it distracts me and improving on classical? What the outcome will be, who knows?....

Anyway, FWIW I don't think it's necessarily about moving on as such, but more about reevaluation. We reevaluate things, situations, relationships, life and so on all of the time. If right now you've no real interest in guitar and would rather focus on other stuff you have on, then do that. On the other hand, there's no need to restrict yourself to that indefinitely. Perhaps keep some stuff stowed away somewhere (maybe your mum's) and it's there if you fancy it again. If after a year or so you still haven't touched it, maybe then you've moved on. 

In the meantime, give yourself a break. Guitars and music really shouldn't cause us anguish and question who we are.

BigLicks67

Get a good quality acoustic and just enjoy the fact you can do something a lot of people cannot. 

Drew_TNBD

Yeah bail. Leave music for the people who REALLY want to do it.