Talking dog

jonnyburgo

A Bloke sees an ad on Gumtree for a talking dog.
Curiosity piqued, he goes to take a look. On entering the house he can't see any dog.

From the toilet he hears a voice "Just a minute mate, just finishing off the Times crossword"

Then in walks the dog and says "sorry about that, I do it every day, piece of piss to be honest Actually its lucky you caught me I'm due to go out on Special Ops with the SAS today, Ive been hired to do some top secret work".

"Wow thats amazing" says the bloke.

"well yeah" continues the dog "I'm doing that today and then tomorrow I'm off to do a movie in Hollywood about my life story, Ive written the screenplay, its gonna be massive!"

The bloke turns to the owner who is looking totally bored by all this talk.

"how much do you want for the dog?" says the bloke.

"If you can take him off me hands today, well call it £15"

Bloke says "£15 for a talking dog, why so cheap?"

The owner says "The lying bastard has never been out of the house"

axisus

So you're a talking dog. How's life?

"Ruff"

dogload