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Nothing as serious as some of the brave people above, but hitting a brick wall with stress and anxiety from working in law and moving house twice (and jobs three times) in about 6-7 months. Finished me off in terms of coping. This all happened around 2 years back now.
I've always been a bit of a worrier and music and socialising stop me from doing it so much.
When it did hit, I had physical manifestations of anxiety (and these had been going on and building for about a year before) including intense dizziness. Cue worrying about health, GP appointments, thinking I had serious ilnesses, etc. Health anxiety hit me from nowhere. Had ear tests, MRI, etc. AWFUL time. Even after the tests were ok, I still worried. Then I managed to get on a good medication, very low dose (after trying all sorts) and that was it...despite the low mood I started to turn around. Within 6 months I was happy in my new job (still here now) and loved my new place in Manchester (still in the same house).
That was a very testing a difficult time. Sometimes I look back at the panic, anxiety and stress and see how it controlled me and think 'never again'.
I'm probably happier now than I've been in years. I'm much more confident. I'm providing advice (and enjoying it) to friends who are struggling with anxiety. I'm also doing more of what I want. Especially with holidays and live gigs.
As a younger child, I remember I was confident and outgoing and never really had any problems with anyone. Almost as soon as I began secondary school, it all changed and I fell to pieces. It only took a couple of weeks for the bullying to start, and while I look back on some of it as overreaction on my part, I did have to put up with plenty of really horrible shit. As a result I became cripplingly insecure and neurotic, and I'd fly off the handle at people, even friends, for the smallest of perceived slights. My inability to deal healthily with these issues meant that I probably pushed a lot of people away, and I developed a bit of a reputation among my classmates for being grumpy and angry, as well as having a self-destructively low opinion of my own worth. I imagine a lot of people could imagine me going postal. Thankfully I am not given to mental illness or self-harm etc otherwise it could have been a lot worse, but it's safe to say the whole thing totally ruined my self-confidence, and it only started improving again once I was well away from the school - probably when I was about 19 or 20. I still struggle now and then, but thankfully it's on an upward trajectory at last.
The particular incident I remember the most was when one of the biggest bullies in the year was walking past me with a couple of his mates in tow, in a quiet corridor, and proceeded to get me in a headlock and pull my hair up out of my face so his mates could have a good old chuckle about the severe acne on my forehead. I still remember that as being the most worthless I've ever felt.
Finding out my Dad had oesophagal cancer and the 3 years that followed.
Everyone else was understandably losing it so I went into autopilot for a couple of years. Took some control (as much as possible), going to the appointments with Mum & Dad as after the first couple they seemed not to be taking in everything that was said. After each visit essentially had a family debrief and collated a full version from all the bits we individually picked up. Editing and sharing info with the rest of the family and fending off the questions that followed. Drove him & Mum to the hospital for his operation, kept Mum occupied all day and made sure we were with him when he came round.
Watching it return and how quickly it took him.
It's a massive turn around to become the carer of someone who brought you up. Also a strong realization that we come this way but once.
My wife spontaneous abortion of what would be my second son when we even didn't know she was pregnant
My mother being diagnosed with Alzheimer's
My wife being diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer and dying 10 months later in November last year at age 43 leaving a 8 year old son
All in the space of 2 years.
"You don't know what you've got till the whole thing's gone. The days are dark and the road is long."
My YouTube Channel
Just to lighten the mood a little... my life was changed the first time a girl kissed me - properly. Like many teenagers, until then I had always assumed girls regarded me with a sense of disgust.
Of course the fact that I had to wait another 20 years for the next kiss is irrelevant.
But for a 'small moment but had it not happened my life might have been different' can I have two?
First, reading Virginia Ironside's agony aunt page in Woman magazine circa 1982. There was a letter from a lonely teenage boy ( not me but sounded like me) wanting to meet more people, etc. Part of the response was the idea of doing voluntary work and some contact addresses. Certainly not an idea I'd ever had and it lead, reasonably directly, to a lot of amazing experiences, meeting a lot of new people, wanting to qualify as a social worker and so on and so on.
Second, a blazing row ( about what? No idea) with my girlfriend circa 1992. We split up and she walked out and I thought I'd never see her again. Five minutes later she came back, we made up and she ( eventually) became MrsTheWeary with our two kids, mortgage, etc,etc. Notable also for being the last time she said I wasn't solely to blame for something...
A couple, Nearly drowned at the age of 7,totally put me off swimming.
Broke a hip at 17during a motorcycle crash,resulted in me learning to play guitar
Being diagnosed at 47 with retinitis pigmentosa and being told I'm very likely to go completely blind, That did the trick,
I'm 60% nightblind and about 50% dayblind at the moment but it changes monthly.
The result being I live everyday looking at as many things as poss,hence all the changing of colourful guitars.
sounds like a moan but its not, you just play the cards you've been dealt.
the biggest change was meeting my wife of 30 years,Some of the members here have met her and know what I'm talking about. ,easily the most fantastic human I've met. Without that chance happening I have no doubt that death would have come calling long ago due to my "lifestyle" at the time.
And meeting mrsrlw, wife of some 35 years, was significant too.
And writing off the car last year in a head on with a milk tanker, and walking away with only an airbag burn, has made me see things slightly differently too.
Thanks for your candour Gentleman, it's humbling.
My own, for what it's worth - sobering up in 1996 - I've just celebrated 21 years of continuous recovery as a member of AA.
I wasn't always this pleasant you know... hee hee.....
Accidentally becoming a Dad was definitely life-changing - after a few months of dealing with things poorly (in regard to my treatment of her mother) I endeavoured to make amends and we subsequently married and had another daughter.
18 months after that she left me for someone else (taking the children), came back for a week and then left again (leaving the children with me). I chose at that point to do what I thought was best for them, and became a single parent on benefits (no local support available to allow me to work (and no free childcare in those days) as both sets of grandparents lived too far away) for the next 8 years (before funds from a relative's will allowed me to start arrowheadguitars).
Having survived that I took a chance a few years ago to have a second go at having a family, and now have a four-year old daughter to add to my 25 and 28 year old versions. Sadly, despite my best efforts things went weird before she reached her first birthday and my now ex-partner carried on living here for two years without saying a word to me unless she had to, and then moved 40 mins away a year and a half ago. I see my daughter on weekends and we have a huge amount of fun, but pretty much every hour of every day is tinged with sadness, at best.
I'm slowly working down from a ridiculous amount of anti-depressants with the aim of coping without them sometime next year, but I'm absolutely certain that my life is not going to bounce all the way back from this.