Irritating song lyrics

ICBM

Neill said:

When it comes to awful lyrics I think Bernie Taupin takes some beating. eg:  

 So goodbye yellow brick road

Where the dogs of society howl
You can't plant me in your penthouse
I'm going back to my plough

Back to the howling old owl in the woods
Hunting the horny back toad
Oh I've finally decided my future lies
Beyond the yellow brick road

Howling owls?  Hunting "horny back toads"? (whatever they are) And with a plough??  

And, "Saturday night's all right for fighting" is one of the most crass songs ever written. If any record should have been banned by the BBC that was it.  The organisation, incidentally that once blacklisted "Give Peace a Chance". 

He also wrote "We Built This City On Rock And Roll".

scrumhalf

Let's be honest, most lyrics are beyond awful.

Bridgehouse

My favourite band for shit lyrics has to be the little known Tansads.

"I've been doing bugger all
Wondering about wandering
I believe in irony
I believe in doing the ironing"

and

"Don't comb it over Brian Cant
It's more natural in the morning"

57Deluxe

anything by OASIS as NG adopted the anything goes approach and now't means now't

AlexC

57Deluxe said:

anything by OASIS as NG adopted the anything goes approach and now't means now't

I know a girl called Elsa
She’s into Alka Seltzer...

Genius, that. Poet of a generation! 

Neill

AlexC said:

57Deluxe said:

anything by OASIS as NG adopted the anything goes approach and now't means now't

I know a girl called Elsa
She’s into Alka Seltzer...

Genius, that. Poet of a generation! 

I heard recently that NG admitted he wrote that song when he was blind drunk, which surprised me. I assumed he wrote all his songs that way.

Guitar_Slinger

We once jammed with a singer/songwriter who we thought was going to disappear off the planet very soon, but wondered if he'd become the next Jim Morrison before he did. Unfortunately, drugs are bad kids and he didn't make it, but he had lyrics that were amazingly bad and good at the second time.

"Lost my appetite for life,
lost my appetite for lunch.
Lost my wallet,
And I lost my mind."

HAL9000

Not a lyric, but one that often pops up in adverts is 'long years' - as in whisky that has been matured for 'twelve long years'. Are these years somehow different from normal 365¼ day years?

The song lyric that annoys me is in Cream's Tales of Brave Ulysses where the word Ulysses is mispronounced so that it fits the song. Same goes for Serengeti (Serengai) in Toto's Africa.

jonnyburgo

Roxette, I hate this band with a passion

She has a train going downtown
She's got a club on the moon
And she's telling all her secrets
In a wonderful balloon

She's the heart of the funfair
She's got me whistling a private tune
And it all begins where it ends
And she's all mine, my magic friend

She says, "hello, you fool, I love you
C'mon join the joyride"
Join the joyride

chillidoggy

jonnyburgo said:

Roxette, I hate this band with a passion

She has a train going downtown
She's got a club on the moon
And she's telling all her secrets
In a wonderful balloon

She's the heart of the funfair
She's got me whistling a private tune
And it all begins where it ends
And she's all mine, my magic friend

She says, "hello, you fool, I love you
C'mon join the joyride"
Join the joyride

It’s what happens when you use Google translate from Swedish.

Dominic

Agadoo-doo-doo
push pineapple ,shake the tree
Agadoo-doo-doo
push pineapple ,grind coffee

Remember,member,member....what a Womble you are 

And unfortunately, Get up off that thing ......like a sex machine 

ICBM

jonnyburgo said:

Roxette, I hate this band with a passion

I actually really like them, but the lyrics do sound like they were written by a child with a Swedish-English dictionary in one hand and a rhyming dictionary in the other.

Emp_Fab

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you”.

Alnico

Every lyric in 'Ferry 'cross the Mersey'.

Ravenous

I like Metallica, but their song "Through The Never" really gets on my drillbits. Just a poor naïve attempt to sound clever and technical.

Stick to violence and booze, guys!

Alnico

Ravenous said:

I like Metallica, but their song "Through The Never" really gets on my drillbits. Just a poor naïve attempt to sound clever and technical.

Stick to violence and booze, guys!

That my friend is being stolen and used with everyone right down to my 7 year old Nephew who will almost wet himself when he hears 'Uncle Roogie' say that.
Stunning use of our language.

Hats off to you.

fob

Paul Weller:

Like pebbles on a beach
Kicked around, displaced by feet
Oh, like broken stones
They're all trying to get home

Sesh

I'd never really listened to the lyrics of Toto's Africa, but it came on in the car the other day. The line about Kilimanjaro rising like Olympus over the Serengeti really grated on me. Partly because the words seemed to be awkwardly shoe-horned in, and mainly, well, just the words.

Not a bad effort for a dog though.

Octafish

Call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road
Well now, they call me the breeze
I keep blowin' down the road

Yeah, yeah, and they call me the wheel, I just keep going round and round . Always annoyed me, just lazy, boring nonsense, classic Blusak...

Octafish

Ed's got the looks of a movie star
Ed's got the smile of a prince
He ride a bike instead of a car
I want to be his friend

Dancing in the living room
With the ladies so nice
Like a child with a wisdom tooth
He's just a friend of mine

From Golden Earring's 'Going to the Run'. Some years ago we were into the habit of always having the Dutch Arrow Rock Radio on and they kept playing this beuaty all the time. Kind of epitomises naff Euro rock