Encouraging your kids into music/guitar

Wolfetone

It's a proud day but, after many false dawns over the years, my thirteen year old has finally learned guitar and written/recorded her first complete song.

I  tried to introduce her when she was about ten and bought her a Taylor Baby in the hope that  the sound and the ease of play would encourage her. I hoped it would be  a steady progression to competence.  It sadly wasn't to be. Over the months years, she tried piano, a bit more guitar using one of my spares but nothing stuck and as quickly as the desire came , it soon went again.

One day, about a year ago, she discovered the Beatles and, soon after, picked up one of my Beatles songbooks and off she went again with my little Yamaha APX  T2 travel guitar. Every single night I heard the progression of a twelve year old struggling with her Beatles songs. She now plays reasonably well and I have bought her a Yam APX 5  on account of its small body. It gets played all the time.

It's not the greatest recording but it's her first.

TAKE IT SLOW

What have you done to encourage your kids and how has it gone?

viz

It’s really lovely!

boogieman

I tried with both my kids. There were always guitars around the house, ever since they were babies. I encouraged them to pick them up and play around with them, I taught them basic chords and how to pick out simple melody lines. I even bought a bass when my son said he might like to play one. My daughter was desperate for a Hello Kitty Strat so we bought her one for her 14th birthday. Neither of them showed the remotest bit of interest after a few weeks: the Strat was sold after a year of gathering dust, the bass just disappeared; given away to a mate or somesuch, I assume. Must be nice to have your kids interested in playing. 

pmbomb

Good job to your daughter, well done.

I started my daughter aged 5 on piano lessons last year, because you can play a melody using just the white keys so no need to understand scales, but we just stopped as she told us she didn't want to do them any more.

Then when her mum said "it's a shame you've given up piano", she replied "I haven't given up, I'm just not doing the lessons".

The keyboard will sit in the corner for her to tinker on whenever she wants, and she already has. She also has a 3/4 size electric that just sits there, she never played it. Then when I asked if I could lend it she said "no I  love it it's precious".

We did the same with bikes, got her a bike well before she could ride it, it just sat there, part of her life until she was ready for it. Having a bike is normal for her now, doubt she can imagine being without one.

She's very young, and it's a long term game. Mostly at this age all I am doing is planting a seed that may germinate in the future. I think any kind of pressure would be counter-productive. Plus, it's meant to be fun!

And if it's not to be, its not to be. As a parent we have to accept that I think.

One thing I think for younger kids is they don't have any musical context to motivate them. By contrast I've been playing just over a year, aged 51, and am learning songs I've loved for 35 years. That's a great motivation.

BRISTOL86

Wow, that's superb! Well done to her and you!

Iamnobody

Great stuff. You must be very proud.

Re. Encouraging music there’s guitars and keyboards around the house. Both mine have Hello Kitty Strats but are far too young to play yet.

The eldest (6) does piano lessons but we don’t push her - she’s probably on the cusp of giving up as she doesn’t practice as much these days. That’s fine as we’d hate her to feel like she has to do it. 

We listen to a lot of music at home and they both love singing.

It’s got to happen naturally like with your daughter. But as mentioned above we are planting seeds.

pmbomb

BTW that's a great story Wolftone. They're ready when they're ready.

I often think of a saying the fakirs use in India, when they renounce all world goods and opt out of the rat race. They say "you can start too early, but you can't start too late".

pmbomb

Iamnobody said:

Great stuff. You must be very proud.

Re. Encouraging music there’s guitars and keyboards around the house. Both mine have Hello Kitty Strats but are far too young to play yet.

The eldest (6) does piano lessons but we don’t push her - she’s probably on the cusp of giving up as she doesn’t practice as much these days. That’s fine as we’d hate her to feel like she has to do it. 

We listen to a lot of music at home and they both love singing.

It’s got to happen naturally like with your daughter. But as mentioned above we are planting seeds.

uh-oh. off to Google "Hello Kitty Strat".

Are they full sized?

We have this in pink - OK for the money but won't hold tuning. Doesn't really matter at this stage to be honest.

https://www.gear4music.com/Guitar-and-Bass/LA-Electric-Guitar-and-Amp-Pack-Black/7

richardhomer

Excellent - with all the money she’ll hopefully make out of the song - perhaps she’ll be able to afford some new jeans?

Iamnobody

pmbomb said:

Iamnobody said:

Great stuff. You must be very proud.

Re. Encouraging music there’s guitars and keyboards around the house. Both mine have Hello Kitty Strats but are far too young to play yet.

The eldest (6) does piano lessons but we don’t push her - she’s probably on the cusp of giving up as she doesn’t practice as much these days. That’s fine as we’d hate her to feel like she has to do it. 

We listen to a lot of music at home and they both love singing.

It’s got to happen naturally like with your daughter. But as mentioned above we are planting seeds.

uh-oh. off to Google "Hello Kitty Strat".

Are they full sized?

We have this in pink - OK for the money but won't hold tuning. Doesn't really matter at this stage to be honest.

https://www.gear4music.com/Guitar-and-Bass/LA-Electric-Guitar-and-Amp-Pack-Black/7

Hello Kitty Strats are full size yes. They are decent guitars actually.

There are no longer in production though so used is your only option. 

Both mine were mint and bought from young ladies who were given them as presents by their parents but subsequently didn’t take up playing! I can see the same thing happening with our two in a few years!

They are becoming collectable though and some people are trying for silly money.

sev112

I bought a half or 3/4 size classical Stagg for mY 14  year old daughter several years ago and never got on with it
bought her a Uke a couple of years ago.  She had a couple of attempts

but in the past 6 months she has been picking it up again and again, prompted most recently by doing Uke lessons for a few weeks at school

its great, she’s got the 4 chords, and has been doing various 3 and 4 chord songs from youtube,  mostly contemporary pop songs.
shes currently singing and playing Riptide, which she’s got some kind of cover for which really works with her voice, quite soulful.

really. Ice to listen to

Grunfeld

Wolfetone said:

...What have you done to encourage your kids and how has it gone?

Great that your daughter is enjoying music enough to be playing and writing and recording. 
We, as a bunch of guitar players, all find something of value in playing.  It's not for everyone and I'm kind of glad that it isn't as it happens -- makes it a bit more special for those who gain entry to the world of creating music.

I've got two sons.  The eldest did the trumpet thing at school and I'm really pleased that I have a recoding of him just adding a bit of unpolished brass to one of my recordings.  It's actually one I like in and of itself as well as the memory of him recording it.  Then he picked up a bass, bought it from @Paul_C ...ignored it for 3 months... then got totally into it, and now owns a jazz and a T-bird.  Oooh, that reminds me... I'll stick an advert up soon for his rig which he's not shipping to the States and which is residing over here.
The youngest son just didn't connect with music.  Put it all there like guitar, keys, a year's worth of drum lessons, but it just wasn't his thing. 

quarky

It is difficult to find that line between being a "pushy parent" and letting them slob around. Generally, I try and get my kids (my son especially who is 10) involved. So we play Rocksmith together, and if he is working on a song for his grade exam, I might learn bits to play along. 

I also stress, especially with my daughter (13) that it is about options too. So when she does exams in a few years, a bit of experience with music now will pay dividends later, so she (or my son) will have that choice later to take Music as an exam knowing that it could be an easier route to a decent grade. My daughter stopped playing for about a year after doing her grade two exam, but I said that that was fine. We all need a break from time to time, and she has picked it up again since. It is difficult, but I also talk about how this is a skill that they can always have when they are older. They don't need to do it for a career, they don't even need to be good, but besides the potential for exams, having something that they can fall back on for enjoyment, breaking ice with other people, etc. is something that not enough of us have!

Ultimately though, I practice with them, and in front of them, so they see that you can not do anything BUT make progress (even slowly) if you keep at it, and actually even overcoming difficult bits is part of the challenge, but ultimately so rewarding.

Nitefly

That's really good, @Wolfetone - you're right to be proud of her!

None of mine really took to music, other than listening to it.  The eldest (boy) wasn't interested at all, more into football. 

The middle one (girl) did recorder at primary school and decided she'd like to try flute, so we bought one and she went to about 6 lessons and gave it up.

The youngest (also a girl) did try guitar for a while, and we got her a 3/4 size classical (which I still have!), but the "teacher" at primary school only knew 2 chords, and it wasn't "cool" to learn from Dad!  She did however take up bass for a short time while she was at Uni - dunno what happened to that...

Ironically, I was a bitter disappointment to my own Dad for a long time, as he'd been a pro footballer in the post-war years, and I had little to no interest!  He got over it when my son displayed the interest in football that I hadn't - it just skipped a generation.

darcym

she's done a really great job, I really enjoyed the song, really catchy. Please let her know the praise she's getting.

EricTheWeary

Eldest did clarinet and bassoon but didn’t keep up with it ( although his health problems coincided with the drop in interest ). Youngest been interested for brief periods and now top of his class doing music technology at college. Plays bass very well, some guitar, some keys but the technology bit is key as, I think, it’s a bit more instant gratification and he can shape things rather than being a bit player. Plays bass in a college band although they just do odd bits of songwriting and jamming. He’s not very interested in guitar ( or bass) as a fetish object really, at the guitar show yesterday he spent most time looking at the mics and the Korg stand. 

Nice song BTW  

Dominic

Tried with all of my children......both my wife and I are musical ........tried guitar ,piano and violin.........Zero interest.
As my oldest daughter said ......"why would anybody want to play the guitar .......it's old fashioned !!!!"
Sadly I'm sure they would all happily go to Rapping classes !

pmbomb

one thing - I think it's worth taking the softly softly approach if thats' what's required, but it's a fantastic thing for kids to do and well worth persisting on helping them.

Because I just spent my first year, basically, learning about learning.

The shallow learning curve is totally different to most things kids will do, and I think developing confidence in that is invaluable for them.

And unlike most things they'll do at school, I think music is at heart something one at heart has to teach oneself. A teacher can light the path and help remove obstacles, but really the true learning is done at home on their own. Like wolftone's daughter with the Beatles songbook.

Plus add the benefits of a bit of abstract thought, timing, some maths.

It's a no brainer, whole bunch of life skills right there.

pmbomb

Dominic said:

Sadly I'm sure they would all happily go to Rapping classes !

I guess that's what they should do then.

Balrog68

All my kids have an eclectic, open-open-minded taste in music and my youngest studied music has played to audiences and now plays the guitar for fun. All have been encouraged...none pushed. They all love music in their own way and I'm glad that it enriches their lives.

Neil

I have three sons.

Two were playing the guitar for a while when younger, got fairly decent but have both given up now.

Guitar doesn't seem to hold the pull for them as it did for my generation.

Couldn't care less TBH, they excel in other fields and they had the chance.