Corporate handshake from family member has weirded me out.

Grunfeld

skunkwerx said:

Its also pitiful to judge another by the force of their handshake really.. 

It is.

But, just in case you ever wondered what your physios did when they weren't being good with patients, they were in the tea room having occasional daft competitions.  One of these involves squeezing the living shit out of a dynamometer.  (We're bored, okay.)  This is a thingy which measures force of grip.

Usually blokes win -- duh.

But it's not a given.  I'm remembering an afternoon where a slim Nigerian 30 something female was quantitatively massively stronger than everyone, including the 40y male SA rugby guy.  Torque is to do with leverage and if your structural biomechanical levers are great then you'll be strong in the hand department.  It's fun but not especially interesting. 

Chalky

guitarfishbay said:

Chalky said:

guitarfishbay said:

Chalky said:

Aw c'mon, why are you Northern softies so against handshakes?

Why do you want me to squeeze your hand?

I guarantee that your male ancestors shook hands with family and friends in the 1950s, when attending weddings, christenings and funerals, and when they got a job, and when they met or were introduced new people.

So I'm not asking you to do something new - you are choosing to stop shaking hands like your forefathers did.

Yet you will happily fistbump, handgrab and high five folks when that is imported gesture from the Black American culture.

Actually my forefathers went for the whole kiss kiss kiss Mediterranean thing. Takes an absolute age to say hi and bye at family events.

Not sure why you’re projecting race into this discussion unless Chalky is a white thing? 

If someone goes for a handshake I do know how to perform the procedure.

But I think it says more about a person if they ‘judge a man by his handshake’ than if they are into handshakes or not.

Anyone can learn how to squeeze a hand and look into someone’s eyes. It’s a meaningless gesture if it’s just a way to say hello. No different to a high 5.

No race thing at all.  By all means choose not to shake hands. But making out it is strange or unusual or that only 'corporate types' do it is simply not true when all your forefathers did it for centuries.

The mention of the Black American gestures is simply to point out that those are new, very recent greeting gestures that have been adopted, and I don't understand how your grandfather shaking your hand would be unacceptable but the handgrab is.

I high five and fistbump with my kids and neices, etc, as well as hugging them, because they are just another gesture.  I don't feel anything against using such gestures. 

So I don't understand why handshaking gets some folks on here so wound up.  But I'm past caring tbh.

LuttiS

Chalky said:

Yet you will happily fistbump, handgrab and high five folks when that is imported gesture from the Black American culture.

Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know? Jiiive Turkehhh!

Once you go Black American Culture you never go back! *Self Bump Five*

Heartfeltdawn

guitarfishbay said:

Chalky said:

Aw c'mon, why are you Northern softies so against handshakes?

Why do you want me to squeeze your hand?

So he can imagine what it'd feel like wrapped around his penis. That's what Southerners do. 

Chalky

LuttiS said:

Chalky said:

Yet you will happily fistbump, handgrab and high five folks when that is imported gesture from the Black American culture.

Shiiiiit, maaaaan. That honky muf' be messin' mah old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head, you know? Jiiive Turkehhh!

Once you go Black American Culture you never go back! *Self Bump Five*

You are the Todd from Scrubs and ICM £5

Heartfeltdawn

I've seen my cousins twice in 15 years, both occasions funerals. One bunch of cousins should be on a reality TV show on Northamptonshire local TV. The other are Christians and once invited me to go on a cycling holiday visiting churches with them.

There is nothing that connects us whatsoever beyond some genetic material. Calling them family is daft when I see the bouncy checkout bird on the fag counter at Morrisons more than them. 

guitarfishbay

Chalky said:

guitarfishbay said:

Chalky said:

guitarfishbay said:

Chalky said:

Aw c'mon, why are you Northern softies so against handshakes?

Why do you want me to squeeze your hand?

I guarantee that your male ancestors shook hands with family and friends in the 1950s, when attending weddings, christenings and funerals, and when they got a job, and when they met or were introduced new people.

So I'm not asking you to do something new - you are choosing to stop shaking hands like your forefathers did.

Yet you will happily fistbump, handgrab and high five folks when that is imported gesture from the Black American culture.

Actually my forefathers went for the whole kiss kiss kiss Mediterranean thing. Takes an absolute age to say hi and bye at family events.

Not sure why you’re projecting race into this discussion unless Chalky is a white thing? 

If someone goes for a handshake I do know how to perform the procedure.

But I think it says more about a person if they ‘judge a man by his handshake’ than if they are into handshakes or not.

Anyone can learn how to squeeze a hand and look into someone’s eyes. It’s a meaningless gesture if it’s just a way to say hello. No different to a high 5.

No race thing at all.  By all means choose not to shake hands. But making out it is strange or unusual or that only 'corporate types' do it is simply not true when all your forefathers did it for centuries.

The mention of the Black American gestures is simply to point out that those are new, very recent greeting gestures that have been adopted, and I don't understand how your grandfather shaking your hand would be unacceptable but the handgrab is.

I high five and fistbump with my kids and neices, etc, as well as hugging them, because they are just another gesture.  I don't feel anything against using such gestures. 

So I don't understand why handshaking gets some folks on here so wound up.  But I'm past caring tbh.

You’re a lot more bothered by this than I am. And with each post you choose to project additional things I haven’t said.

As I said I know how to shake hands. I don’t refuse to shake hands so it’s a non issue. 

I just don’t buy into the ritual of my forefathers stuff, or the ‘you can measure a man by his handshake’ concept, it’s as simple as that.

If it’s meaningful to you then cool. 

Iamnobody

I’m more annoyed when I go in for a traditional firm one and the other party tries some of that thumb first shit... 

jonnyburgo

I think the assertion that there are differing handshake habits from the North and South to be a bit ridiculous really. Yes, I know we all change over time, the point of my first post was that it just felt ingenuine and affected. I don't have anything against a firm handshake and when you do a handshake with someone with a limp shake it makes you feel like "oh, maybe handshakes aren't really your thing". I do find it a little awkward when you do a handshake and the other party doesn't let go and continues talking to you, then it just becomes holding hands.

thermionic

You should have given him the Freemason's secret handshake.

mellowsun

Handshakes? Are they still a thing? I thought it was all manhugs these days for family and friends.

octatonic

menamestom

Chalky said:

guitarfishbay said:

Chalky said:

Aw c'mon, why are you Northern softies so against handshakes?

Why do you want me to squeeze your hand?

I guarantee that your male ancestors shook hands with family and friends in the 1950s, when attending weddings, christenings and funerals, and when they got a job, and when they met or were introduced new people.

So I'm not asking you to do something new - you are choosing to stop shaking hands like your forefathers did.

Yet you will happily fistbump, handgrab and high five folks when that is imported gesture from the Black American culture.

I have meetings all over the country.  I've never been fist bumped in a meeting north or south and can't see any regional difference between handshake customs.  You get weak ones in the south, overly strong in the north and vice versa.
Similarly fist bumps happen all over, why you think it's a northern thing I have no idea, it's more of a generational thing, or perhaps just a more informal greeting to convey a different form of saying hello or goodbye.  All tools to be used by whoever wants to use them, wherever they may be.

As for imported gestures, the handshake originated in ancient Greece.

Also, there's a definite corporate handshake.   I wouldn't use it in a family situation and I know what the OP means.
But this doesn't mean I'd think twice about shaking a family members hand, it's just a different type of handshake would be required for the situation.

Sporky

menamestom said:

I have meetings all over the country.  I've never been fist bumped in a meeting north or south 

I make suppliers fistbump. As @Grunfeld said, handshakes are germy. It's particularly bad as my industry has a huge tradeshow every year which brings all the plagues of Europe together in a melting-pot of filth. I used to get a horrible lurgy after that every year until I went fistbump (or just hands-in-pockets).

Someone tried to cabbage it a couple of weeks ago, so I pointed out that that wasn't business-appropriate.

Also agreed with whoever said about the silly "dominant" palm-down handshake. If I am shaking hands then mine is absolutely vertical and my wrist is locked, so if they try a Trumpshake then they look really weird. And I like pointing out that they're being weird. 

menamestom

Sporky said:

menamestom said:

I have meetings all over the country.  I've never been fist bumped in a meeting north or south 

I make suppliers fistbump. As @Grunfeld said, handshakes are germy. Its particularly bad as my industry has a huge trades how every year which brings all the plagues of Europe together in a melting-pot of filth. I used to get a horrible lurgy after that every year until I went fistbump (or just hands-in-pockets).

. 

Sounds like a good plan.  I might try that, or get a fake rubber hand to offer out. 

JAYJO

I remember introducing my Brother to a bloke i worked with.It was  at a christmas party in the Pub.
Anyway they go to shake hands and my brother blurts out  "Not your left let me shake your right hand". The hand shake went ahead. My brother was'nt to know my friend had a deformed right hand from birth!.   laughed my head off at him. 

57Deluxe

worst still is when someone you don't know that well suddenly decides its time to move on from a normal handshake to a Bro'shake and not give any clue... you feel a right divot...

Phil_aka_Pip

@57Deluxe ;  that looks like Zaphod & Ford doing the Betelgeusian death ritual on Magrathea just before the computer room blew up and landed them in Milliways ...