Eh ? Bonkers signs

Emp_Fab

On the door of a hotel room safe.... that is just about big enough to fit a couple of books in.  What do they think is in danger of suffocating ?

77ric

Must be for those women who carry very small dogs in tiny handbags. Or it’s elf and safety gone mad. 

octatonic

Don't you believe in leprechauns?

ICBM

77ric said:

Must be for those women who carry very small dogs in tiny handbags. Or it’s elf and safety gone mad. 

I'm not sure even an elf could get in there.

Sporky

octatonic said:

Don't you believe in leprechauns?

The question, surely, is whether leprechauns believe in Emp_Fab?

octatonic

ICBM said:

77ric said:

Must be for those women who carry very small dogs in tiny handbags. Or it’s elf and safety gone mad. 

I'm not sure even an elf could get in there.

So you are saying it is an elf hazard then?

Fretwired

underdog

.

crunchman

NPP

Fretwired said:

what's wrong with that? Wouldn't the world be a better place if we did things (including this if you will) with precision and elegance? 

skunkwerx

There was an a4 paper sign up in the Gp surgeries toilet recently, asking not to use the bin as the toilet..

I took a pic which I’ll dig out.

Who the fuck shits in a bin when theres an accessible toilet opposite?!  

skunkwerx

Then again, theres no hope around here.. 

Everyday I pass signs forbidding me to defecate, urinate, spit, drink and cause harrassment and alarm.. 

Because without those signs I would have done all 6, simultaneously. 

Heres the sign though, seriously... (lol):
 https://i.imgur.com/NFst8j6.jpg

Their faces say it all.. God help us if we actually need to put signs up to stop people shitting in the high streets..

not_the_dj

Local Shell petrol station with the "do not use your mobile at the pumps" sign, and underneath that the new "pay with our smartphone app"

stickyfiddle

not_the_dj said:

Local Shell petrol station with the "do not use your mobile at the pumps" sign, and underneath that the new "pay with our smartphone app"

Brilliant!

octatonic

Shopping centre sign here in Singapore.



You get a lot of this shit here.

usedtobe

skunkwerx said:

Then again, theres no hope around here.. 

Everyday I pass signs forbidding me to defecate, urinate, spit, drink and cause harrassment and alarm.. 

Because without those signs I would have done all 6, simultaneously. 

Heres the sign though, seriously... (lol):
 https://i.imgur.com/NFst8j6.jpg

Their faces say it all.. God help us if we actually need to put signs up to stop people shitting in the high streets..

Where is this hell hole?

Phil_aka_Pip

@octatonic the words are english but I haven't a clue what they mean

Corvus

No pic but we went up a small road in Ireland heading to a village and came on a big orange sign with-

WRONG WAY
TURN BACK

octatonic

Phil_aka_Pip said:

@octatonic the words are english but I haven't a clue what they mean

Yeah it is pretty typical.

It is weird here because although English is a primary language for a lot of people most Singaporeans simply don't have the same level of sophistication that you find in the West, or at least not the version of English that you and I speak.

There are a lot of examples of 'misuse' of English that are perfectly normal here- for example the word 'revert' is used in place of 'reply'.

For example: "Will send over the draft Letter of Intent now and get back to you once they reverted." is a message I got earlier today.

There is a lot of it- and some of it is thoroughly entertaining.
The word blur means 'slow to understand'.
If I said 'Emp is blur like sotong' I'd be saying that he has no idea what he is doing.

When Emp is going on about something crazy I might say 'Emp, me catch no ball', meaning I don't understand what you are saying.
I might then say to Emp "How I know you, lah?", meaning 'you've just aid something really dumb and I'm embarrassed that I know you'.

There is a portmanteau called 'Corright' which is a combination of 'Correct' and 'Alright' and basically means 'extremely correct/right'.

My favourite misuse is 'Killer litter' which means things thrown out of windows, usually out of high rises that has the potential to kill. Yes it is actually a thing here.

But when it comes to advertising and such they try to use 'correct English' and some of them just don't have it, so they use google/dictionary/thesarus and you end up with 'Rollick in the Moment', or this airport sign:



or this sign in a HDB:



It is a deeply weird place.

Legionreturns

Don't seem to have the pictures anymore, but my two favourite typos...

1 - Sign next to a spiral slide at local softplay centre 

"No duel sliding" 

(Fantastic image!)

2 - Desert board at my local pub

"Missipissi mud pie" 

An acquired taste I'd imagine! 

RedRabbit

usedtobe said:

skunkwerx said:

Then again, theres no hope around here.. 

Everyday I pass signs forbidding me to defecate, urinate, spit, drink and cause harrassment and alarm.. 

Because without those signs I would have done all 6, simultaneously. 

Heres the sign though, seriously... (lol):
 https://i.imgur.com/NFst8j6.jpg

Their faces say it all.. God help us if we actually need to put signs up to stop people shitting in the high streets..

Where is this hell hole?

I don't know where the picture is but we could do with these signs (and someone to enforce the rules) in Stockport.  The drinking, spitting and harassment/alarm are common.  I've also witnessed plenty of public urination (up the side of the college seems a favourite) and we've had a couple of instances of someone shitting in the office car park.  The council guys who came to clean it up suggested that it's not as rare as you might hope.