Eh ? Bonkers signs

skunkwerx

RedRabbit said:

usedtobe said:

skunkwerx said:

Then again, theres no hope around here.. 

Everyday I pass signs forbidding me to defecate, urinate, spit, drink and cause harrassment and alarm.. 

Because without those signs I would have done all 6, simultaneously. 

Heres the sign though, seriously... (lol):
 https://i.imgur.com/NFst8j6.jpg

Their faces say it all.. God help us if we actually need to put signs up to stop people shitting in the high streets..

Where is this hell hole?

I don't know where the picture is but we could do with these signs (and someone to enforce the rules) in Stockport.  The drinking, spitting and harassment/alarm are common.  I've also witnessed plenty of public urination (up the side of the college seems a favourite) and we've had a couple of instances of someone shitting in the office car park.  The council guys who came to clean it up suggested that it's not as rare as you might hope.

The picture was taken in Broad Street, Dagenham. 
Hell hole is absolutely accurate! 

Sign says nothing about not being able to steal it and send it over to Stockport though... ;p

scrumhalf

A few years back in India I had some laundry done at the hotel. When I paid for it they put the receipt in an envelope with "Thank you for patronising us" on it.

I also recall a sign in China at  temple of some sort that said "NO LOUDING". It makes no sense, yet you understand exactly what it means.

scrumhalf

Fretwired said:

IT's entirely possible to pee with precision and elegance and still not pee where you're supposed to pee.

skunkwerx

Corvus said:

No pic but we went up a small road in Ireland heading to a village and came on a big orange sign with-

WRONG WAY
TURN BACK

Hehehe you came on a sign...

crunchman

Fretwired said:

That's like a red rag to aim for the sign.

stickyfiddle

@octatonic is the "wash your ass" sign because they have squirty-washy-bum-guns there and most people just get it *all over the floor* like they do in the middle east? (see below)

We also have "revert", and also "shift" to mean moving house? i.e. "when did you shift to Dubai?" I always thought it was an Indian thing but maybe just an Asia thing

57Deluxe

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0d/65/65/0d6565005acf15f869743217c0c0769d.jpg

EricTheWeary

This may just be a personal thing but when the overhead signs on the motorway says FOG. Unless you were concerned you were suddenly developing cataracts I don't quite get the point. 

Chalky

octatonic said: huge

Phil_aka_Pip said:

@octatonic the words are english but I haven't a clue what they mean

Yeah it is pretty typical.

It is weird here because although English is a primary language for a lot of people most Singaporeans simply don't have the same level of sophistication that you find in the West, or at least not the version of English that you and I speak.

There are a lot of examples of 'misuse' of English that are perfectly normal here- for example the word 'revert' is used in place of 'reply'.

For example: "Will send over the draft Letter of Intent now and get back to you once they reverted." is a message I got earlier today.

Actually, that use of "revert" was completely normal in UK Business and Legal letters up to the 1980s, and still in use on Tower Hill well into the 90s so I guess the Singaporeans got it back then and stayed with it.  They are sticklers in business, to silly depths of detail sometimes.

EricTheWeary

octatonic said:

Phil_aka_Pip said:

@octatonic the words are english but I haven't a clue what they mean

Yeah it is pretty typical.

It is weird here because although English is a primary language for a lot of people most Singaporeans simply don't have the same level of sophistication that you find in the West, or at least not the version of English that you and I speak.

There are a lot of examples of 'misuse' of English that are perfectly normal here- for example the word 'revert' is used in place of 'reply'.

For example: "Will send over the draft Letter of Intent now and get back to you once they reverted." is a message I got earlier today.

There is a lot of it- and some of it is thoroughly entertaining.
The word blur means 'slow to understand'.
If I said 'Emp is blur like sotong' I'd be saying that he has no idea what he is doing.

When Emp is going on about something crazy I might say 'Emp, me catch no ball', meaning I don't understand what you are saying.
I might then say to Emp "How I know you, lah?", meaning 'you've just aid something really dumb and I'm embarrassed that I know you'.

There is a portmanteau called 'Corright' which is a combination of 'Correct' and 'Alright' and basically means 'extremely correct/right'.

My favourite misuse is 'Killer litter' which means things thrown out of windows, usually out of high rises that has the potential to kill. Yes it is actually a thing here.

But when it comes to advertising and such they try to use 'correct English' and some of them just don't have it, so they use google/dictionary/thesarus and you end up with 'Rollick in the Moment', or this airport sign:



or this sign in a HDB:



It is a deeply weird place.

@octatonic this is irrelevant to the thread but I was watching a thing about Starbucks opening in Singapore. Anyway, there was a passing comment that Australians don't like Singapore because you can't get a decent coffee there and I wondered if you'd found that. That's all, I said it was irrelevant...

Phil_aka_Pip

@octatonic that one about the longer one night stands is brilliant - I think I'll take them up on it

Nitefly

In a taverna we visited in Corfu, the menu included Homlits, and Fried Aborigines.

octatonic

stickyfiddle said:

@octatonic is the "wash your ass" sign because they have squirty-washy-bum-guns there and most people just get it *all over the floor* like they do in the middle east? (see below)

We also have "revert", and also "shift" to mean moving house? i.e. "when did you shift to Dubai?" I always thought it was an Indian thing but maybe just an Asia thing

Yes, I think so.
What also happens is people squat on top of the toilets, as in they put their feet on the bowl, or worse the toilet seat.

Chalky said:

Actually, that use of "revert" was completely normal in UK Business and Legal letters up to the 1980s, and still in use on Tower Hill well into the 90s so I guess the Singaporeans got it back then and stayed with it.  They are sticklers in business, to silly depths of detail sometimes.

I did not know this but it makes sense.
A lot of what goes on here is stuff from colonial times that they haven't got around to changing (like physical punishment in prisons, and slavery... er I mean domestic workers.)

EricTheWeary said:

@octatonic this is irrelevant to the thread but I was watching a thing about Starbucks opening in Singapore. Anyway, there was a passing comment that Australians don't like Singapore because you can't get a decent coffee there and I wondered if you'd found that. That's all, I said it was irrelevant...

I've had some very good coffee here and some decidedly average coffee too.
They have this weird thing here called 'Kopi', which is coffee sold from hawker centres and various other asian style coffee shops.
You have different versions of it:

Kopi: Coffee with condensed milk.
Kopi C: Coffee with evaporated milk.
Kopi-O: Black coffee with sugar.
Kopi-O-kosong: Plain black coffee.

It isn't really my thing- they use Robusta, rather than Arabica so it doesn't suit my palate.
Kopi and Kopi-C are incredibly sweet too.

There are loads of proper coffee shops here now though- I had 3 decent flat whites today that are better than anything I can get in the UK.

octatonic

Phil_aka_Pip said:

@octatonic that one about the longer one night stands is brilliant - I think I'll take them up on it

LOL.

Bridgehouse

We had one of these near us for a while - A pole was erected by the road. Then a blank sign went up. Apparently the local parish know-alls complained about the blank sign and one similar to this appeared:

CHRISB50

octatonic said:

stickyfiddle said:

@octatonic is the "wash your ass" sign because they have squirty-washy-bum-guns there and most people just get it *all over the floor* like they do in the middle east? (see below)

We also have "revert", and also "shift" to mean moving house? i.e. "when did you shift to Dubai?" I always thought it was an Indian thing but maybe just an Asia thing

Yes, I think so.
What also happens is people squat on top of the toilets, as in they put their feet on the bowl, or worse the toilet seat.

Chalky said:

Actually, that use of "revert" was completely normal in UK Business and Legal letters up to the 1980s, and still in use on Tower Hill well into the 90s so I guess the Singaporeans got it back then and stayed with it.  They are sticklers in business, to silly depths of detail sometimes.

I did not know this but it makes sense.
A lot of what goes on here is stuff from colonial times that they haven't got around to changing (like physical punishment in prisons, and slavery... er I mean domestic workers.)

EricTheWeary said:

@octatonic this is irrelevant to the thread but I was watching a thing about Starbucks opening in Singapore. Anyway, there was a passing comment that Australians don't like Singapore because you can't get a decent coffee there and I wondered if you'd found that. That's all, I said it was irrelevant...

I've had some very good coffee here and some decidedly average coffee too.
They have this weird thing here called 'Kopi', which is coffee sold from hawker centres and various other asian style coffee shops.
You have different versions of it:

Kopi: Coffee with condensed milk.
Kopi C: Coffee with evaporated milk.
Kopi-O: Black coffee with sugar.
Kopi-O-kosong: Plain black coffee.

It isn't really my thing- they use Robusta, rather than Arabica so it doesn't suit my palate.
Kopi and Kopi-C are incredibly sweet too.

There are loads of proper coffee shops here now though- I had 3 decent flat whites today that are better than anything I can get in the UK.

We have a regular problem at our office with the cleaners finding human shit on top of the cisterns, or on the floor next to the loo. This is the only way I can think it may happen. I've always waited for the culprit to come in with one or two wet feet having slipped off the bowl (or seat). Unfortunately it's never happened.

Wolfetone

This is near Belfast airport.

Wolfetone

Wolfetone

57Deluxe said:

https://i.pinimg.com/564x/0d/65/65/0d6565005acf15f869743217c0c0769d.jpg

This is the same restaurant with a different statement. He deserves the business with a sense of humour like that.

EricTheWeary

octatonic said:

stickyfiddle said:

@octatonic is the "wash your ass" sign because they have squirty-washy-bum-guns there and most people just get it *all over the floor* like they do in the middle east? (see below)

We also have "revert", and also "shift" to mean moving house? i.e. "when did you shift to Dubai?" I always thought it was an Indian thing but maybe just an Asia thing

Yes, I think so.
What also happens is people squat on top of the toilets, as in they put their feet on the bowl, or worse the toilet seat.

Chalky said:

Actually, that use of "revert" was completely normal in UK Business and Legal letters up to the 1980s, and still in use on Tower Hill well into the 90s so I guess the Singaporeans got it back then and stayed with it.  They are sticklers in business, to silly depths of detail sometimes.

I did not know this but it makes sense.
A lot of what goes on here is stuff from colonial times that they haven't got around to changing (like physical punishment in prisons, and slavery... er I mean domestic workers.)

EricTheWeary said:

@octatonic this is irrelevant to the thread but I was watching a thing about Starbucks opening in Singapore. Anyway, there was a passing comment that Australians don't like Singapore because you can't get a decent coffee there and I wondered if you'd found that. That's all, I said it was irrelevant...

I've had some very good coffee here and some decidedly average coffee too.
They have this weird thing here called 'Kopi', which is coffee sold from hawker centres and various other asian style coffee shops.
You have different versions of it:

Kopi: Coffee with condensed milk.
Kopi C: Coffee with evaporated milk.
Kopi-O: Black coffee with sugar.
Kopi-O-kosong: Plain black coffee.

It isn't really my thing- they use Robusta, rather than Arabica so it doesn't suit my palate.
Kopi and Kopi-C are incredibly sweet too.

There are loads of proper coffee shops here now though- I had 3 decent flat whites today that are better than anything I can get in the UK.

Coffee with condensed milk is a Spanish thing too, sold as a desert as much as coffee.