do you love it or hate it when you hear your neighbours making the beast with two backs?

Funkfingers

mondaypeanut said:

I find the phrase "the beast with two backs" creepy as hell,

Ironically, considering all of the preceding references to male masturbation, the phrase is a quotation from Shakespeare.

vale

usedtobe said:

I don’t understand how anyone would enjoy hearing someone else at it. Cringey as fook!

i think it depends on whether you fancy them or not.

for example, if you fancied your neighbour like crazy, and every time you saw them your heart was thundering in your chest, but they were happily fixed up with someone else (or whatever other reason you couldn't be with them), then hearing them would be the closest you would ever get to actually doing it with them. what you are hearing is what you would be hearing if you were with them.
so in that way it's vicarious fantasy f*cking of a kind. as close as you will realistically ever get. that's how i feel about it anyway. i'm not ashamed to admit that much.

but if you hate your neighbours, or you're jealous, or a member of your family is invloved, that's different. i totally get that being a bit creepy.

jonnyburgo said:

When I was about 14 I heard my mates mum at it with her new boyfriend, I went home and had a massive wank.

wisdom. maybe even a high five (once you've washed your hands).

Funkfingers said:

mondaypeanut said:

I find the phrase "the beast with two backs" creepy as hell,

Ironically, considering all of the preceding references to male masturbation, the phrase is a quotation from Shakespeare.

'othello' (quote is from 'othello') was our shakespeare for A level lit. and we had a dream teacher. will never forget him. he acted out every single syllable, every growl, every purr, every roar, exactly like albert finney in 'the dresser'. totally woke me to shakespeare. better on the stage than on the page.

Kilgore

I've heard my neighbours at it plenty of times, but I've never seen them doing it. I must be drilling the holes in the wrong place.

usedtobe

vale said:

usedtobe said:

I don’t understand how anyone would enjoy hearing someone else at it. Cringey as fook!

i think it depends on whether you fancy them or not.

for example, if you fancied your neighbour like crazy, and every time you saw them your heart was thundering in your chest, but they were happily fixed up with someone else (or whatever other reason you couldn't be with them), then hearing them would be the closest you would ever get to actually doing it with them. what you are hearing is what you would be hearing if you were with them.
so in that way it's vicarious fantasy f*cking of a kind. as close as you will realistically ever get. that's how i feel about it anyway. i'm not ashamed to admit that much.

but if you hate your neighbours, or you're jealous, or a member of your family is invloved, that's different. i totally get that being a bit creepy.

jonnyburgo said:

When I was about 14 I heard my mates mum at it with her new boyfriend, I went home and had a massive wank.

wisdom. maybe even a high five (once you've washed your hands).

Funkfingers said:

mondaypeanut said:

I find the phrase "the beast with two backs" creepy as hell,

Ironically, considering all of the preceding references to male masturbation, the phrase is a quotation from Shakespeare.

'othello' (quote is from 'othello') was our shakespeare for A level lit. and we had a dream teacher. will never forget him. he acted out every single syllable, every growl, every purr, every roar, exactly like albert finney in 'the dresser'. totally woke me to shakespeare. better on the stage than on the page.

Did he act out the beast with two backs part?

boogieman

Reminds me of the Billy Connolly sketch where he’s in a hotel in Australia and hears the couple next door shagging. The woman keeps shouting “yes, yes, nooooo, no, yes, yes!”

Billy eventually gets fed up, bangs on the wall and shouts out “shut up.......and stop asking her fuckin’ questions!”  

thomasross20

@boogieman ;
hahaha love that! Great comedian!

grungebob

Time em and shout the times back to em. 

mondaypeanut

starwarsnosebleed said:

When i was 14/15 i stayed at my mates house on the top bunk.

as soon as we went to bed, i heard his Stepdad groaning in a deep westcountry ‘Ooooaaarghhh’, and his Mum VERY loudly groaning for about 20 mins.

But the worst thing was my mate was having a wank (Yes...over his Mum’s sex noises) in the bunk underneath me, and was making the whole bunkbed rattle.

Eeeewwww.

Could have been his Stepdad's noises...