Just too little time.

fandango

Time is indeed a most valuable commodity.

Is not life what you make of it? Is not life about what you do do, rather than what you don't do? 

As for all the things TTony mentions, I find I have an ebb and a flow about them. Sometimes the emphasis is catching up with my reading list. Sometimes, it's getting to grips with a bunch of songs. Sometimes, I like to catch up with the news. Sometimes, I want to keep in touch with friends, neighbours, family. And other times, I don't. There'll be things I want to do to the home. Now most of that's not about time, it's about money. But weeding the garden and lawn is becoming a priority as we traverse this Bank Holiday. It's been bugging me for a few days, but you know what?

Mañana.

Roland

We have this compulsion to do things. Sometimes it’s because there are things we want to experience or achieve. For some people it’s because they feel they are wasting their life. Some people like to be busy so that they don’t have time to think. 

I want to make a plea for not doing things, and for doing less. In life 50% of achievements come because we work at them, and 50% come because we are in the right place at the right time with our eyes and ears open. Doing more doesn’t mean that we achieve more. It means that we pay less attention to what we’re doing, and that we miss what’s going on around us because we are so focused on doing stuff.

In the work I used to do everyone worked hard at fitting more into their lives. They developed tips and techniques for doing more. Then, in their mid 30s, they reached the point where no more could be shoe horned in, and they had to learn to take things out. 

Having retired I take great pleasure in waking up, and sitting in bed with a cup of tea. It’s something I didn’t make time for when I was working. It’s productive time. My wife and I talk about what we’re going to do, and I check the forum.

My message is to do less, but do it better, and leave time for the unexpected opportunities. Last night I went to @Garp’s gig. Drop of the hat decision when he posted about it, I wouldn’t have done if my life was too busy.

Teetonetal

You issue is simple. You have too many things in your to do list. Simply, decide what is most worthwhile / enjoyable / important to you and do those 1 or 2 things for a month. Then reassess.  

Most people don't have enough time, so it's important to make the most of the time you do have. (He said whilst wasting time reading and replying to threads on the fb)

VimFuego

for me finding time to do the stuff that is important to me was actually a very easy task. What made it so, was I decided to prioritise one activity that would give me pleasure. So I chose to really focus hard on surfing shit on the internet, once I'd made that mental adjustment, the rest was easy. 

Emp_Fab

Stop dreaming, start doing.  Any one of us could get the visit from the guy with the black cloak and the scythe at any moment.  Literally any moment.  Once he appears, your bucket list is screwed up and thrown in the bin, regardless of whether you've even made a start on it or not.

Every one of us is sitting on a time-bomb and none of us know what the timer is set to.

Carpe-Diem - or the translation from latin; Shit, or get off the pot.

octatonic

The notion that you have to make effective use of every moment in your life is a just another societal pressure.
What about work/life balance?
What about doing what makes you happy?

If you are dicking around on the internet and it is making you miserable then make a change, sure.
If you like your life then just enjoy it and don't worry about what you think you 'should' be doing.

Most of the people here who are replying are working full-time and some of them are raising families.

I worked full-time for a bit last year and the start of this year (after the last 13 years of being essentially self-employed, which gave me a lot of time to do music).
At the end of the day I had no real energy to do much music and after dinner and a couple of hours of downtime it was time for bed.
On the weekend I had chores to do, a dog to walk and after 2 days it was time for the sad merry-go-round to start again.

So cut yourselves a break.
Maybe get a subscription to the magazine "The Idler".

Today I have a very busy day of dicking about on guitar, watching Star Trek: Voyager, fiddling with my Eurorack.
I might get a run in, or a swim. 
Frankly that is enough.

LuttiS

I think the general gist here is that you need to prioritize. What's really important to you and what is just a passing fancy?

darthed1981

I think the nail has been hit, as much as we all like to think we are brilliant polymaths, life, especially modern workplace life, is tiring and stressful.  We can't make every hour "productive", and we need to be happy.

Those of us here can afford a small pat on the back, 90% of people who want to learn to play a musical instrument don't, we have all stuck with it long enough to join a forum to talk about it, that's something.

WezV

I think, for me at least, some of it is connected to health.

i just had a sinus op and my blood oxygen levels  instantly increased by 7%, and my energy levels with it.

I had been blaming my tiredness on young children and work, but it turns out a relatively simple fix has done wonders.

i don’t have any more time. I have a lot more energy, and that makes all the difference.

also, if I have a block of time I write myself a list of things to do with it.  If 3/4 gets crossed off I am happy.

axisus

Chalky said:

Sounds like you are a butterfly thinker.  Too many interests, not enough focus. 

Simplest method is to make a spreadsheet of everything you are interested in doing, one item per row e.g. specific book, specific house fix, etc, put a 1-100 priority against each one, and sort them by priority.  This will help make the TOUGH decisions on which ones are more important than others. 

And it IS tough when you are a butterfly thinker, who allows new interests in without discerning where they fit in your plan.  The reluctance to commit to "No, I'm not adding that book to my reading list because it is not more important than my top 3/5/10 books I want to read before it" is the nub of the problem.

Easier to blame time than take the tough decisions on how you use the time you have.

That's all very well but I once made a flow chart of all the things that interested me, all the things I wanted to do, stuff to practice, things to learn about etc. It was sections and sub-sections and took a lot of thought. I spent longer on the bloody chart than I ever did on any of the stuff. Still have it on the computer somewhere, I should look it out ....

Teetonetal

octatonic said:

The notion that you have to make effective use of every moment in your life is a just another societal pressure.
What about work/life balance?
What about doing what makes you happy?

If you are dicking around on the internet and it is making you miserable then make a change, sure.
If you like your life then just enjoy it and don't worry about what you think you 'should' be doing.

Most of the people here who are replying are working full-time and some of them are raising families.

I worked full-time for a bit last year and the start of this year (after the last 13 years of being essentially self-employed, which gave me a lot of time to do music).
At the end of the day I had no real energy to do much music and after dinner and a couple of hours of downtime it was time for bed.
On the weekend I had chores to do, a dog to walk and after 2 days it was time for the sad merry-go-round to start again.

So cut yourselves a break.
Maybe get a subscription to the magazine "The Idler".

Today I have a very busy day of dicking about on guitar, watching Star Trek: Voyager, fiddling with my Eurorack.
I might get a run in, or a swim. 
Frankly that is enough.

The op is implying that he wants to do those things and that not having time for them is making him sad. He clearly has way more on his list than is manageable for even people with lots of free time. 

No one says making the most of every moment doesn't include winding down and relaxing. 

The problem is having so much on the to do list that you end up overwhelmed and feeling like you do nothing all the time, even if you do actually do alot. Making the most out of your time is totally about focus, balence, priorities and knowing how to not beat yourself up when what you really want is a cup of tea in bed.

So imo focusing on 1 or 2 things stops that overwhelming unachieving feeling and allows for do nothing time. Reassess as often as required.

octatonic

I wasn't specifically replying to Tony.

fandango

If by working out life's priorities, folk mean discipline, then I'm all for it.

"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction." Margaret Thatcher.

Teetonetal

octatonic said:

I wasn't specifically replying to Tony.

Does it matter? 

thomasross20

Great replies here. Definitely you need to make time to do nothing. Just rest like @richardhomer says. Downtime. Sit and drink that cup of tea as @Roland says. 

This is in complete contrast to people like Elon Musk who works 120 hour weeks and that Silicon Valley guy who said that eating and drinking were taking too much of his time so he created one shake which he can down in ten seconds and get back to work. This isn't the way to live a life. Businesses over on the West Coast are terrible for this sort of thing (sleep pods at work etc - and they're not even the worst [Japan]). One of the reasons I'd never work in America, despite the massive salary increase I'd be getting. Money's not everything.

@midiglitch thanks for your words re Sheena - I'm glad you got something out of it, so to speak. I agree, to an extent - things like guitar/band - they're really going nowhere in general unless you're somebody like Slash. But I do think you need that enjoyment - something outside of work and relationships that gives your life a bit of meaning. Guitar defines a large part of who I am. 

Spreading yourself too thin... I keep my hobbies list to a minimum. Guitar, films... err, that's about it. I realised that although variety is the spice of life and trying many different things in life can make you a bit happier, I wanted a less-frequent but deeper happiness through the labour of love that is intense guitar practice! Do one thing and do it lots and actually try to get good at it. I mean, it's achievable if you just put the hours in - turn off the tv etc. These days it's tailed off a bit but I am immensely grateful for the hours I put into it when I was younger. We do all deserve a pat on the back for learning an instrument! However got to be careful not to make it all about the gear..

I read some articles about efficient people once and realised (not trying to blow my own trumped) that I might be one of them. I rarely watch TV, I set goals and work toward completing them, I imagine being at the end goal so that it's not just a dream (other than being in a gigging rock band lol) - just not wasting time and putting focus on what's important and being an honest and harsh critic of yourself. Must admit that this last year I've done a bit more of the "variety is the spice of life" thing in terms of meeting friends more and eating out and "enjoying life." Sheena loved to travel and I'd like to do more, too - though a bit daunting on my own (or rather, I think it'd be a bit naff as the sharing is the best bit... for me, anyway). And that's been ok, but I feel a bit guilty about my guitar-ing. I'm still trying to complete the drums for this album I've been doing but that is like one of my life's big goals. Even if it comes out total rubbish and goes to the bargain basement £1 box, I don't care - I can say I've done it. Well, I do care - and I'm working to make it half-decent Every year I also do my New Year's Resolution. This year I said I'd exercise more, which I have done... and said I'd do more acoustic and singing, which I have done (and yet to do in front of others, but I will). 

I'd love to do a 4-day week. The richness of that one extra day.... I say that now, but would I... if somebody offered it? It'd be mightily tempting but we do get used to the money. 

I was out last night at a "widowed and young" group event I joined. It was basically a piss-up. I stood there and realised... this just isn't my thing. I don't like going out and having drinks (I don't really drink) with folk I don't really know. I actually felt angry that I'd wasted my time. So I'm not going do do it again. It doesn't mean I wont hang out with friends or have my own sort of downtime... but that's their thing, and as they're out on the lash, I'll be true to myself (important, that...) and progress on guitar. Anything worth doing does require sacrifice, hard work and long hours. And I like that I'm not wasting my time and putting it toward doing something productive. 

Kids - I am immensely glad I've got my step-daughters. They're grown up, but the eldest (24) does need support as she is autistic. Unfortunately their dad doesn't grasp this and broke a death-bed promise to Sheena regarding her care (and then had the cheek to ask about what money he was getting), and it seems I'm the one doing all the heavy-lifting. It sucks for me in some ways because I'm a young guy still and taking on almost the entire parenting role - but I'm also sort of ok with it and it's better that I take care of her than him. That limits things I can do (she gets lonely a lot now her mum isn't here so I need to spend dedicated time with her) and places I could move to and work etc. It places me in a strange situation because IF I ever met somebody, they'd have to be the right person to accept all that. I actually went on one (just the one!) speed date a few months ago (I was sitting in the house depressed a lot and needed to get out and meet people) and I think this is what put off somebody who seemed interested. So I'm sort of resigned to being on my own. And most women would probably want kids of their own... I'm 34 next month... I'd want to know somebody for 5 years, I'll be too old (for me, anyway - I'm tired enough as-is!) ! When younger I thought I'd always want kids and then I went to uni and spotted "opportunity" and ever since I said to myself that I wanted to live a different sort of life - and I value that time I have to myself to DO things. But the responsibility is then on you to actually make those things happen and not waste the time. I think that if you make that decision, you ought to do great things with your time. 

Roland

Teetonetal said:

octatonic said:

The notion that you have to make effective use of every moment in your life is a just another societal pressure...

... Making the most out of your time is totally about focus, balence, priorities and knowing how to not beat yourself up when what you really want is a cup of tea in bed.

There’s an interesting way to set your own priorities, and not kowtow to the ones that advertisers, employers, friends, app writers, and society in general want you to work to. Write your own obituary: who do you want to be remembered by, and what do you want them to remember you for?

darthed1981

fandango said:

If by working out life's priorities, folk mean discipline, then I'm all for it.

"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction." Margaret Thatcher.

You are Mr Banks from Mary Poppins and ICM £5

gringopig

.

darthed1981

gringopig said:

fandango said:

If by working out life's priorities, folk mean discipline, then I'm all for it.

"Disciplining yourself to do what you know is right and important, although difficult, is the highroad to pride, self-esteem, and personal satisfaction." Margaret Thatcher.

Did you just quote Margaret Thatcher? I mean, she's not wrong but but but...

ArrGGhhH!

<conflicted>

To be fair that quote could be read as "Do what you think is right, be bluddy minded about it, and then get hubristic if it works out OK..."

Which was why she got Julius-Caesared by her own party.

JAYJO

TTony said:

So, I enjoy playing my guitar(s).  I realise that I'm not brilliant and that I need to practice/learn more.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

I enjoy making guitars.  I realise that I'm a mere amateur compared to some here and that I need to practice/learn more.   Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

I really want to get into the "of the month" challenges here.  Whether it's recording or mixing or covering other stuff.  I have a go sometimes, but I need to practice/learn more.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

I've got synths here that I want to learn how to use.  Properly.  And iSynths too.  Great fun when I get a good sound out of them, but it should be more by design rather than random luck, so I need to understand sound sythnesis.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

In fact, I'd quite like to learn how to play a piano/keyboard.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

I have other hobbies (no, really, I do) - photography, general woodwork and furniture making.  I know enough to know that I don't know enough and need to learn more.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

And a whole stack of books to read.  Some for fun or relaxation.  Some for education.  They need to be read.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

There's other stuff - life stuff - that I ought to do.  Like cooking (Mrs TT does 99% of it), which I enjoy when I do it, but my repertoire is limited and needs expanding.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

I've got 101 jobs to do "around the home".  And garden.  This place will be wonderful when it's all done, so I've got a long jobs list.  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.

There are loads of places I want to go and see.  Not remote, other side of the world places, just around and about here, to spend some time and "experience".  Which I'll do.  When I get the time.



Is there ever enough time?

I don't have time to read all the posts here. Maybe put some chords to your post and you will have a hit record. Dylans 
 Most of the time, springs to mind. See your already doing it.