Plectrum physics (like quantum physics but infinitely more weird)

HAL9000

1. Picks only exist when being observed. Look away for even a second and they will disappear.

2. Modern physics requires twelve dimensions to explain how the universe works. Plectrum physics postulates a thirteenth which hoovers up unobserved picks. (Dimensions five through twelve respectively explain right-hand gloves, Tupperware lids, odd socks, TV remotes, biros, 0.05” Allen keys, car keys, and items of cutlery.)

3. Every time a pick is manufactured, a quantum-entangled pair is created in an alternative universe. If that pick gets misplaced yours will get misplaced too.

4. Every time you put a pick in your pocket it creates a rip in the fabric of reality which it disappears into. In our reality the pick then never existed.

5. Half of all existing picks are actually anti-picks. When a pick comes into contact with an anti-pick they will both disappear.

Sometimes it really is easier to believe that picks exist only inside your head than to open the Pandora’s box that is plectrum physics.

munckee

Rule 6. If looking for your picks first point of call should be your daughter's bedroom in my experience!

scrumhalf

7. If you drop a pick it ceases to exist.

skullfunkerry

8. When you have a 7-year old stepdaughter, the number of picks you acquire at Christmases and birthdays will rapidly increase until you have to put them in a box to keep them from overtaking your office. in this case, rule #5 ceases to operate

Snags

Following a useful tip from this very forum, my picks now live in the "condom pocket" in my jeans.

The problem of vanishing picks has been solved by ensuring that there are a liberal supply in every guitar case, and scattered throughout every room in the house.

thecolourbox

Snags said:

Following a useful tip from this very forum, my picks now live in the "condom pocket" in my jeans.

The problem of vanishing picks has been solved by ensuring that there are a liberal supply in every guitar case, and scattered throughout every room in the house.

Or by playing finger style

monofin

1. Picks only exist when being observed. Look away for even a second and they will disappear.

This is the truest thing I've ever read on the internet

drofluf

Has this got anything to do with string theory?

Musicwolf

I now play with a tungsten pick with mother-of-pearl inlay

At £26 a time (I have two) you do not loose these.

Roland

Years ago I learned to buy six pairs of socks at a time. This helps ensure that I have one pair for each day of the working week. If a single sock goes awol I don’t have to throw its partner away. Whenever I had to get dressed in the dark at 4:00am then I didn’t turn up at the airport/station/office wearing odd socks.

I apply the same principle to picks. Last time I bought 20, and benefitted from a bulk price. They live in a tin which is stuck to my pedal board. There’s a second tin which holds all the free picks I’ve been given or found lying around. These are available for dealing with rule 9 If you lend a pick to someone they will only give it back if they’ve damaged it.

ROOG

Musicwolf said:

I now play with a tungsten pick with mother-of-pearl inlay

At £26 a time (I have two) you do not loose these.

I have a variant on your wise words @Musicwolf: "At £26 I would not dare to use these."  They do look very nice though :0)

jellyroll

Rule 34: Plectrum's Law states that the best way to change your mind about a pick and decide that it is no longer "the right one" is to order 72 of them.  

not_the_dj

Retrieving a plectrum that has dropped into the body of an acoustic guitar was to be the 13th task of Hercules, but was dropped due to being too difficult.

pigface

not_the_dj said:

Retrieving a plectrum that has dropped into the body of an acoustic guitar was to be the 13th task of Hercules, but was dropped due to being too difficult.

One of the reasons my only acousticy guitar is an Ovation with tiny wee soundholes.

Roland

Try a jazz guitar with F holes

Moominpapa

jellyroll said:

Rule 34: Plectrum's Law states that the best way to change your mind about a pick and decide that it is no longer "the right one" is to order 72 of them.  

So true it hurts.

stonevibe

I have an old jam jar full of picks and currently it is near overflowing. Never short for a plectrum in my house!

dano

If you cant find a plectrum..... look in the washing machine. They are very good at teleporting into it.

uncledick

My regular pick I bought when I was in a band at school - about 1978 I'd say.  I have spares but they just sit on the amp at a gig and go back in the box afterwards.