Wife and motorways

Hootsmon

wife is a good lady safe driver but the thought of driving on the motorways holds her back

If we drive on the motorway 40 miles to a nice wee spot for a 5 day break the thought of the return journey is uppermost in her mind for the duration of the holiday and ultimately ruins the experience for her

I have watched her take a wrong turn on a motorway and you would think she as being led off for execution

It's not just wrong turns, it's driving on the motorway that does it for her......the fear has deprived the pair of us from making many,many trips

I don't drive.......thoughts......hypnotism?

Thanks guys

strtdv

Advanced driver course or a few additional lessons seems like a good plan. After all, when she was doing her lessons she would have never been on the motorway

BluesLover

Definitely a few lessons. My wife was the same. It was a confidence issue I suppose?

ICBM

Motorways are, by far, the safest roads in the country statistically - they carry 20% of the total traffic but have only 6% of the fatalities, compared to 40% each for rural and urban roads, with 62% and 32% of the fatalities respectively - in other words motorways are almost three times safer than urban roads and more than five times safer than rural roads.

https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/448037/road-fatalities-2013-data.pdf

Not that this will necessarily help, people who are afraid of flying don't seem to be swayed by the statistics either...

EricTheWeary

My sister in law is 65 and has apparently never driven on a motorway. I only found this out a couple of years ago at some family do when I was making small talk and asked if they got stuck in the jam on the M42 and she said no as she's never ever driven on a motorway. My brother can't drive for long periods due to health reasons so their going on holiday involves long complex routes. Although she has also avoided calling my mother anything to her face for forty years. Struck with early indecision between Mum and Jean she has simply avoided calling her anything directly. 

You can certainly get lessons in motorway driving. Hopefully a few of those would help Mrs Hoots.
I like motorways best in our camper as you get that higher view. Perhaps trade the Hootsmobile for an old ambulance.

RedRabbit

If she isn't already using one then a satnav takes a lot of the stress out of motorway driving for me.

munckee

Are you able to physically drive, if so why not pass your test if it makes her uncomfortable?

Hootsmon

^ No can do

RandallFlagg

Bin her off and get a new wife

Hootsmon

Fretwired

Motorway driving course. My niece was scared to go on a motorway after she passed her test. She had some motorway driving lessons with a driving instructor and she's now fine.

trolley

Complete opposite. Our youngest learned to drive at 22. Drives his mum home from work & bugger all else (doesn't 'like; driving, it's a necessary evil). A month ago he had to go Ikea. When asked if he went on the motorway, said yeah no worries (he's now 26)!

But when learning he went on a dual carriage way near us, so he's used to driving at 70.

You can have motorway driving lessons - get her a few of those

S56035

Don't use motorways?  Obviously not as quick but you can get anywhere without using a motorway.

stickyfiddle

Some sort of advanced training would be a good bet. It's bonkers that you're not allowed on motorways until you pass ut after you do it's basically just "Good luck - don't crash!!".

Does she struggle to match speed with everyone else? Often this is because if you're doing 65 and everyone else is at 80 it feels really scary, but once you push past the initial nerves and match speeds everything gets much calmer because there's no speed differential so it feels like everything else is moving much less relative to you.

sev112

Take the time for a nice slow drive on pretty roads and avoid the motorways

S56035

sev112 said:

Take the time for a nice slow drive on pretty roads and avoid the motorways

Oi!  That's what I said, just not as eloquently.  Get your own inspired advice!

westford

I did a couple of motorway lessons on the M25 after I passed my test, motorways don’t bother me. Driving as a whole is fine. I hate parking though.

chillidoggy

RandallFlagg said:

Bin her off and get a new wife

Bastard, I was just about to say that!

axisus

Avoid motorways. When I was a kid my mum would get stressed out in many driving situations even though she wasn't the driver. I have a distinct memory of my mum getting suddenly stressed and tearful when we were in a country lane and following a big lorry up a country road hill. I'm digressing a bit here, but my mum didn't like motorways so we never used them, and she didn't like the car going over 50mph. The bottom line is that we still got to everywhere that we were going, it just took longer.

My sister in law didn't like motorways. After she passed her test she would only drive on the inside lane, and if she was stuck behind a caravan doing 30mph so be it. Many many months later she finally plucked up courage to pass a vehicle and then she was OK after that.

mart

I know quite a few people who are terrified of motorway driving, and I can understand why - you have to negotiate fast-moving traffic in a way that you can avoid on pretty much any other sort of road. But with a motorway, even to get on you have to speed up to 70 and pray that a gap opens up before you get to the end of the slip road. With any other road you can just wait for a gap that’s big enough for you to be comfortable with.

That said, some lessons are probably a good idea, if you can find a sufficiently sympathetic instructor. Otherwise just keep to the A roads - they’re usually nicer and it won’t make much difference to the time if you’re only talking a 40 mile trip. And even for a 400 mile trip, they’re fine, you just need to allow longer, plan in an overnight stay, etc.

ICBM

mart said:

I know quite a few people who are terrified of motorway driving, and I can understand why - you have to negotiate fast-moving traffic in a way that you can avoid on pretty much any other sort of road. But with a motorway, even to get on you have to speed up to 70 and pray that a gap opens up before you get to the end of the slip road. With any other road you can just wait for a gap that’s big enough for you to be comfortable with.

In all seriousness, if you aren't confident enough to use a slip lane on a motorway properly you're far more likely to get killed on a rural road by not being able to judge speed and distance correctly where you might be pulling out in front of someone doing 60. In fact you're probably just not good enough at driving to be really safe anywhere.

mart said:

That said, some lessons are probably a good idea, if you can find a sufficiently sympathetic instructor. Otherwise just keep to the A roads - they’re usually nicer and it won’t make much difference to the time if you’re only talking a 40 mile trip. And even for a 400 mile trip, they’re fine, you just need to allow longer, plan in an overnight stay, etc.

And factor in the five times higher chance of dying as well.

I do agree that there is a big problem with learner drivers not being allowed on motorways though, so that the first experience they have of them is *after* they've passed their test. This needs to change.