Medical advice ?

Emp_Fab

I don't know why they sell them.  They're £70 too.  Who is going to be in LIDL's that a) has a use for a boroscope and b) can afford £70 for a spontaneous purchase !

As for the Lidl catalogue.... I have a Lidl APP !

I have to pass my local Lidl store on the way home from work and used to pop in now and again to see what daft gadgets they had that I could easily do without, but just had to get.  Now... I can quickly check the app to see if it's worth stopping or not.  I mean... I'm not going to waste my time if they have a sportswear or bicycle thing on, but if they've got a garlic crusher that can also open cans, that can also pick up Freeview - I'm in there !

Myranda

You have a lidl app so you decided to look up boroscope - on the offchance

shobet

I'd get a lady doctor to put her finger up your starfish to give your prostate a good old rub-a-dub. 

johnnyurq

@Emp_Fab

Definitely building up to an Elvis style incident.


In seriousness I got this a while back and after investigations (yes involving butt and cameras) and after ruling out cancers etc they concluded I had IBS or was low on the spectrum for Crohn's (thankfully not Crohn's I reckon though). Need to avoid stress though as it inflames things somewhat.

Difficult with your job etc but getting a bit Buddha like and learn to let stress wash over you and smile.

Dietary changes and avoiding the bad artificial sweeteners (sorbitol based sheeeit) have all but sorted that.

But get thee to a doctor to at least rule out the real nasties

chillidoggy

It's OK, you can all rest easy, because Dr. Chilli has diagnosed the problem.....

Emp's full of shit.

mike_l

Myranda said:

And why does Emp know the Lidl catalogue well enough to have spotted that?

See CHilli's diagnosis

 

@shobet he does that himself....

shobet

@mike_l, where's the fun in that! 

I suggested it, as years ago whilst in school I was rather publicly dumped by a girl. She'd always wanted to be a doctor and to my surprise about 20 years later she and joined the local practice as a GP.

Never being one to miss a trick I duly made an appointment to see her about some back passage problems. So the day comes for the appointment and I go in, we exchange pleasantries and progress to getting my y-fronts down. She gets me on my side, lubes up her gloved fingers and proceeds to have a good rummage around the shob poop chute, she even has a good go at my prostate whilst she up there. Which was nice. 

On finishing the examination she says she can't find anything wrong with me and asks me to take some meds and come back in a few weeks if the problem persists. 

However, I never did go back as there wasn't really anything wrong with me, I only wanted to have her fingers in my arse. I did however feel a lot better afterwards and if gave me closure on an event that had haunted me for a long time. 

I smile and wink at her when I see her in the local curry house with her hubby.  

Yes I am a cunt!   

mike_l

@shobet ; You'll have to ask Emp where the fun is....

 

I've had a few docs do that to me.

Sadly cos my body is fucked.

Emp_Fab

johnnyurq said:

Dietary changes and avoiding the bad artificial sweeteners (sorbitol based sheeeit) have all but sorted that.

Sweeteners eh ?  Interesting....  I have a lot of those in my diet - Aspartame based ones for drinks and Sucralose based ones for cereal.

I didn't know sweeteners caused bowel problems.

johnnyurq

@Emp_Fab

Yeah I had an extra strong mint habit (a hangover from stopping smoking years ago) and since I substituted better options I have to say it has helped a great deal.

But it would seem so and a lot of support places for gut/bowel/arse related problems say to avoid sorbitol at any cost because it is a trigger, even for folks that don't have a big problem gut wise.

It is similar to that US dietary things that gave people a torn holio which weeps with constant use of it, now banned I believe and we did have it here for a while.

They advise following the FODMAP diet where you cut out the trigger foodstuffs and the like.

This is the FODMAP things they recommend avoiding, there is an NHS site that also details it but cannot find it at present.

Any sweeteners that are derived from Stevia and natural plants etc are sound though.