Weirdest thing that's broken/gone wrong mid gig?

Cols

Lebarque said:

I remember at a @fastonebaz cock rock gig once, he came to the front of the stage and let rip with a fire-breathing solo.

A keen groupie leaned forward and undid his flies as he widdled away. In his scramble to do them up again, he caught his tallywacker in the zip and recoiled backwards into the bass player, who was creasing up.

The pair ended up on the floor, Baz still with half his mangled maggot hanging out. Five stitches and it's never pointed the same way since.

I’m assuming that you’ve stood beside him at the gents and marvelled at how he’s hitting the next urinal over from his one?

Lebarque

Cols said:

Lebarque said:

I remember at a @fastonebaz cock rock gig once, he came to the front of the stage and let rip with a fire-breathing solo.

A keen groupie leaned forward and undid his flies as he widdled away. In his scramble to do them up again, he caught his tallywacker in the zip and recoiled backwards into the bass player, who was creasing up.

The pair ended up on the floor, Baz still with half his mangled maggot hanging out. Five stitches and it's never pointed the same way since.

I’m assuming that you’ve stood beside him at the gents and marvelled at how he’s hitting the next urinal over from his one?

Nah, he pissed on my shoes.

Roland

Venues on the toilet circuit don’t feel right unless the toilet floor is wet.

Stratavarious

I did cough out my dentures from an accident as a teen right in front of two pretty girls dancing.

That was embarrassing scrabbling between the monitors to find them.  

We were almost ready to have to do some Pogues.

Lebarque

I remember one time @fastonebaz was doing a rare solo jazz gig at a coffee shop in Swindon. He was so chilled that he actually fell asleep half way through his set and had to be revived with a quadruple expresso. He then proceeded to play a legato version of Boy from Ipanema to critical acclaim. 

fastonebaz

Lebarque said:

I remember one time @fastonebaz was doing a rare solo jazz gig at a coffee shop in Swindon. He was so chilled that he actually fell asleep half way through his set and had to be revived with a quadruple expresso. He then proceeded to play a legato version of Boy from Ipanema to critical acclaim. 

These flashbacks are getting out of control, you may have PTSD.  I can put you in touch with my therapist if you like, Dr Ingrid Von Fiistin.  She's very thorough and gets deep into the issues.

MikkiMcMurderer

Half way through a residency at an Italian nightclub one summer, our bass player successfully scored with a bar woman in after many nights of spade work and went off somewhere for a bit of hide the sausage. Sadly a security guard felt strongly that this was in fact his girlfriend and he went on the war path round the club all night trying to find them. We tried to find him but didn't know where he was so we got the van and started to try and search wider and make a break for it as the other bar staff were telling us, he was going to get killed if the bouncer caught him. We went round the block and out of a side door came our bass player being pursued by said doorman brandishing some kind of metal baton. So we opened the side door and he jumped in and we turned the taps on with his legs still hanging out and scarpered. Our manager amazingly negotiated that we could return to finish the residency which was lucky as all our gear was still set up on the stage and the bouncer was dismissed but we all kept expecting to be whacked by the mafia after that.

ICBM

Reminded by the thread about mixing and playing guitar at the same time...

While I was playing with a band where I did the PA mixing as well, at one gig we got a constant feedback that just wouldn't go away, despite me quickly - and at first unnoticeably - moving each of the five vocal mic faders down slightly one at a time between chords strums . No luck - it continued even with much larger movements, until the mix was totally buggered and we just had to stop. I pulled down the guitar amp and drum mics too - still no luck. At this point the whole band were looking daggers at me, especially the keyboard player... until finally in desperation and not being able to think of anything else, I pulled the keyboard DI channel down too - silence. Followed by a round of applause from the audience . Carefully pushed it back up again - and the 'feedback' came back. It was a stuck key - not physically, so not obvious, but an electronic glitch so the note was just sounding continuously. Turning the keyboard off and on again fixed it.