Band falling apart…

HAL9000

Inevitably I guess. Two of us turn up when we say we will, learn / know our parts, respond to emails, etc. One almost never responds to emails, and usually needs reminding what key songs are in, and one has his finger in too many other pies. I know this isn’t a unique situation but why, oh why, do people even join or audition for bands if they’re not then going to put in the time and effort?

Obviously I’d like band mates who can play well but right now I’d take commitment over musical ability any day of the week.

Grrr - rant over.

Musicwolf

HAL9000 said:

Obviously I’d like band mates who can play well but right now I’d take commitment over musical ability any day of the week.

There's probably far more scope to work around people's lack of ability, by simplifying arrangements, than there is to move things forward whilst carrying band members who won't put in the effort.

When my current band was forming the other guitarist was keen to bring in a drummer with whom we had both worked decades previously.  I was dead against this, as this guy had let us down in the past, but he was technically very good.  It was a case of 'X is very good, but........'.  My argument was that we should get Neil Peart in as he was a better drummer, but - dead.  This meant that he was, only slightly less, available than Drummer X - but since we were placing more emphasis on talent than on reliability..............!

CarpeDiem

I would call a meeting of the band to discuss what everyone now wants from it. It’s possible that there are other priorities/commitments you’re not aware of or that others don’t have the same level of motivation. A face-to-face and hopefully calm discussion should hopefully get some answers. I can share your frustration as I’ve been in the same situation as you and it can be frustrating. Last time it happened two of us formed a new band which worked out better.

theatreanchor

Sympathy @HAL9000. Recommend you take charge of the ship and expel the lazy crew into space. 

mudslide73

When auditioning for our bass player, we opted for the guy with a keener attitude and a willingness to improve, rather than the one who had been in 15 bands. We've had him for 6-7 years, and he is now a real driving force.

midiman1962

Enthusiasm should trump talent as per @mudslide73 ;having done this for a few years. You and buddy need to reform with new bods imho . Sounds harsh but if you’re having to hammer 2 others then you’re just prolonging the inevitable.

HAL9000

midiman1962 said:

Enthusiasm should trump talent as per @mudslide73 ;having done this for a few years. You and buddy need to reform with new bods imho . Sounds harsh but if you’re having to hammer 2 others then you’re just prolonging the inevitable.

theatreanchor said:

Sympathy @HAL9000. Recommend you take charge of the ship and expel the lazy crew into space. 

Absolutely what I’d like to do. Unfortunately it’s far more the other guitarist’s band than it is mine (he’s part of the original lineup; I’m not) so I feel constrained in what I can do. 

I guess we could both leave and then start a new band - I know that’s the time-honoured method for getting shot of iffy bassists ;-)

midiman1962

HAL9000 said:

midiman1962 said:

Enthusiasm should trump talent as per @mudslide73 ;having done this for a few years. You and buddy need to reform with new bods imho . Sounds harsh but if you’re having to hammer 2 others then you’re just prolonging the inevitable.

theatreanchor said:

Sympathy @HAL9000. Recommend you take charge of the ship and expel the lazy crew into space. 

Absolutely what I’d like to do. Unfortunately it’s far more the other guitarist’s band than it is mine (he’s part of the original lineup; I’m not) so I feel constrained in what I can do. 

I guess we could both leave and then start a new band - I know that’s the time-honoured method for getting shot of iffy bassists ;-)

Are you or the other guitarist the singer as they usually hold a chunk of the cards?

Moe_Zambeek

Who owns the van / pa / rehearsal space is often the other set of factors

theatreanchor

Our bassist always tells me that when it stops being fun, then it's over. And your signature implies you enjoy playing. The politics of being in a band is absolutely the worst part of it. If that's killing it for you, you're better off finding your enjoyment elsewhere.

HAL9000

midiman1962 said:

HAL9000 said:

midiman1962 said:

Enthusiasm should trump talent as per @mudslide73 ;having done this for a few years. You and buddy need to reform with new bods imho . Sounds harsh but if you’re having to hammer 2 others then you’re just prolonging the inevitable.

theatreanchor said:

Sympathy @HAL9000. Recommend you take charge of the ship and expel the lazy crew into space. 

Absolutely what I’d like to do. Unfortunately it’s far more the other guitarist’s band than it is mine (he’s part of the original lineup; I’m not) so I feel constrained in what I can do. 

I guess we could both leave and then start a new band - I know that’s the time-honoured method for getting shot of iffy bassists ;-)

Are you or the other guitarist the singer as they usually hold a chunk of the cards?

The other guitarrista is the main singer. My singing is a bit rubbish so I don’t sing so much. I realise that singing would make me a more useful proposition since guitarists that don’t sing are two a penny. Maybe I need to spend time developing my vocal skills. 

HAL9000

theatreanchor said:

Our bassist always tells me that when it stops being fun, then it's over. And your signature implies you enjoy playing. The politics of being in a band is absolutely the worst part of it. If that's killing it for you, you're better off finding your enjoyment elsewhere.

Thanks. I totally agree. I do attend a few local jam nights each month. I enjoy the lack of politics, but I miss the structure and the song development that happens in a band situation.

fretmeister

theatreanchor said:

Our bassist always tells me that when it stops being fun, then it's over. And your signature implies you enjoy playing. The politics of being in a band is absolutely the worst part of it. If that's killing it for you, you're better off finding your enjoyment elsewhere.

This, this, and thrice this!

I'm about to quit my band after our Xmas shows because I'm just not feeling it anymore. It's been 10 years so it's time.
I love to play, but I need to play something different now, in a different environment.

If I stay I'm going to end up damaging my love of playing and I can't let that happen - it's my main downtime activity from work and the antidote to the shite of life.

I'm going to take at least 6 months off from anything remotely band related and then go from there.

Stratavarious

Yep.. it needs to be fun.   

Do suggest a chat to see if anything can change, then if no positive movement, leave on good terms.   Assumption of other’s motives is not enough to quit over though. You might not be alone in wanting to kick some pants.   

HAL9000

Stratavarious said:

Yep.. it needs to be fun.   

Do suggest a chat to see if anything can change, then if no positive movement, leave on good terms.   Assumption of other’s motives is not enough to quit over though. You might not be alone in wanting to kick some pants.   

Thanks, I think a chat is in order with the other guitarist. However I suspect he feels he’s flogging a dead horse. I don’t think it’s worthwhile talking to the others though - if they’re not committed now then any change from them is only ever going to be temporary! 

HAL9000

HAL9000 said:

Stratavarious said:

Yep.. it needs to be fun.   

Do suggest a chat to see if anything can change, then if no positive movement, leave on good terms.   Assumption of other’s motives is not enough to quit over though. You might not be alone in wanting to kick some pants.   

Thanks, I think a chat is in order with the other guitarist…

Done!

HAL9000 said:

…However I suspect he feels he’s flogging a dead horse.

Exactly this. Looks like he’s given up on bands to concentrate on other (musical) stuff.

Oh well, at least we tried.

CaseOfAce

90% of being in a band is just turning up.

jeztone2

My band just sacked it’s bass player. An amazing musician, but incredibly moody & sullen. I’d sooner work with someone with less ability and better social skills.

pintspiller

Bandmates - can't live with them, can't live without them.

shufflebeat

It doesn’t matter how good a player is if s/he is isn’t there.

Traditionally the only indispensable member of the team is the van. Modern digital technology means it’s now the estate car and the iPad.

There has to be a reason to stay together (often ££s), otherwise there are much more fun/important things to do.