Friday humour

Hootsmon

Hootsmon

Fretwired

Fretwired

Hootsmon

Fretwired

Fretwired

Where the chords have no change

paulnb57

littlegreenman

You can't spell subtext without buttsex

axisus

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”

The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”

There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”

fob

TheMarlin said:

Kittyfrisk said:

Brilliant. First post in this thread that’s made me chuckle in weeks 

But... you've been posting!

ESBlonde

paulnb57 said:(

Maybe it should be
She"s alight, she"s alight.....

HAL9000

Apparently there's rather too much demarcation in bicycle factories (says a spokesperson).

Kebabkid

I've just joined a reggae band and I'm playing the triangle.

I just stand at the back and ting. 

HAL9000

I've just left a reggae band that wanted to do a boating vacation in Scotland - I dread loch holidays.

Kebabkid

What time does Sean Connery like to watch Wimbledon?

Tennish!

Burt Bacharach: Who's your favourite composer?
Sean Connery: Schubert
Burt Bacharach: Why thank you Sean. That's very kind of you

SNAKEBITE

Fretwired said:

Where the chords have no change

The bloke in the picture below (Obvs) is my mate Brett, he's a bass player.

We don't hold that against him though.

crunchman

https://www.bbc.co.uk/cbeebies/grownups/my-favourite-piece-of-child-logic-is

Fretwired

Hootsmon