Friday humour

Winny_Pooh

guitars4you

Shrews said:

 

love that

crunchman

guitars4you said:

Shrews said:

 

love that

I know we keep seeing the same things recycled in this thread, but to do it the next day is probably a record.

springhead

There was a young woman from Bude
Who went for a swim in the    lake
A man in a punt 
Stuck his pole in   the water
And said you can’t swim here love it’s private. 

boogieman

There once was a girl from Devizes
Who’s tits were different sizes
One was so small 
You couldn’t see it at all
But the other won several prizes. 

Philly_Q

I think perhaps we should have a "Friday Saucy Limericks" thread....

kaypeejay

Philly_Q said:

I think perhaps we should have a "Friday Saucy Limericks" thread....

I don't get it!

Adey

There was a young man from St Ives

Who got stung on the arm by a wasp

When they asked "did it hurt"?

He replied "no it didn't"

"It can do it again if it wants".

Shrews

 

swiller

There was a young gent from brazil
Who swallowed a dynamite pill
His bum backfired
His tummy retired
and his willy shot over the hill.

nero1701

There was a young lady from Ealing
Who had a funny feeling
Sat on a chair with her legs in the air
And pished all over the ceiling

Chalky

The deckhand's name was Topper
By God he had a whopper!
Twice round his neck
And once round the deck
And back up his arse as a stopper!

Twas on the good ship Venus....

HAL9000

Adey said:

There was a young man from St Ives

Who got stung on the arm by a wasp

When they asked "did it hurt"?

He replied "no it didn't"

"It can do it again if it wants".

There was a young man from Dunoon
Who used to eat soup with a fork
For he said since I eat
Neither fish, fowl, or flesh
I should otherwise finish too quick.

HAL9000

There once was a man from Japan
Whose limericks never would scan
When asked why that was
He said it’s because
I always try to cram as many words into the last line as I possibly can.

boogieman

There was a young lady called Ransom
Made love several times in a Hansom
When she clamoured for more
Came a voice from the floor
“The name ma’am is Simpson not Samson”
 

I have no idea how I remember that, it sounds Victorian. It seemed terribly naughty when I was a schoolboy. 

Sassafras

The more limericks you hear, the less they make sense.
The words just get all jumbled and meaningless. Like when you repeat a word over and over and over and over and over and over and over.

bluecat

Mary had a little lamb 
She also had a duck
She put them on the mantle piece
To see if they would fall off.

NothingOnTheTele

There once was a man from Calcutta

Who spoke with a terrible stutter.

'For breakfast,' he said,

'I'll have b-b-bread

And b-b-b-b-b-b-butter!'

DefaultM

There once was a man from the fretboard
Who thought he did funny limericks
He didnt

hollywoodrox

swiller said:

there was a young lady from ealing
who had a peculiar feeling
she lay on her back
and opened her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling.

I first heard that in the infants around 72 73  amazing to see it still doing the rounds