Friday humour

mgaw · May 4

/\ not in American !

guitars4you · May 4

mgaw said:

/\ not in American !

Exactly- otherwise 9/11 was in November

Brio · May 4

crunchman said:

Brio said:

5/4 is the 5th of April

You trying to sink my funnyship? :-)

DesVegas · May 4

crunchman said:

Brio said:

5/4 is the 5th of April

Nerd

Emp_Fab · May 4

He is right though...

littlegreenman · May 5

Electric cars, the truth...

I'm fed up of comments from people ridiculing EVs. They don't know what they're talking about.

Personally, I own two top of the range EVs, a Jaguar and a Porsche.

Their acceleration and handling is fantastic. They look brilliant and they're really cheap to run. They need hardly any maintenance and haven't depreciated since I bought them.

Literally the only criticism I could make of them is sometimes, if I really push them into a corner, they can fly off the track and get stuck under the sofa....

Sporky · May 5

Emp_Fab said:

He is right though...

How about we celebrate it in April, and our American chums celebrate it in May?

Someone should redo the Star Wars theme in 5/4 as a tribute.

Haych · May 5

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled----WHAT?" I then said "honey, I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial means as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either. Women......!