The philosophy thread

monquixote

A contraction may or may not be a similar pain level to a kick in the bollocks, but I think it's more that it's like being kicked in the bollocks every 5 minutes for 20 hours. 

jd0272

monquixote said:

A contraction may or may not be a similar pain level to a kick in the bollocks, but I think it's more that it's like being kicked in the bollocks every 5 minutes for 20 hours. 

You choose the job, you accept the terms and conditions. "I've been thinking................" as I recall she started.

chillidoggy

Drew_fx said:

ROOG said:

Mind you it was a bit of a shock to find that walls in maternity departments are thicker than most.

Struggled to get a glory hole going???

LOL! Tea on keyboard moment!

Col_Decker

holnrew said:

When I had surgery to block a varicose vein in my ball, they had trouble finding my balls

Oh Holn, how awful

Col_Decker

Mother Decker said breaking her collar bone hurt much worser than giving birth.

 

What I don't get is why some womenz brag about not having drugs or pain relief during labour. "Oh I had no drugs blah blah blah". Yeah well you're a f**king idiot then.

 

I had a sneaky go on the gas & air while Mrs D was in labour. I tell you it was was some great shit. Like drinking a whole bottle of red wine in 5 seconds, being smashed for 20 seconds, and being sober with no hanger over after 30 seconds.

holnrew

Col_Decker said:

holnrew said:

When I had surgery to block a varicose vein in my ball, they had trouble finding my balls

Oh Holn, how awful

Lol, not too far from the truth. If they needed to find them they would have had an issue I think. Nothing like lying exposed on an operating table to cause some shrivelage.

ddlooping

I passed a kidney stone a few years back. I did wonder what it was doing at the side of the road.

chillidoggy

I got fed up with waiting during labour, went down the pub and came back to find the missus talking a load of shite about taking an apple pie out of the oven. The gas and air must be some good shit. Or maybe it was a euphemism. Nah, she's not that clever.

chillidoggy

And I'm nominating Drew's comment about a glory hole as the funniest thing I've read on the FB so far!

jd0272

I'll go with that.

Hootsmon

the worst pain ever was when I sprayed aftershave up me arse.....unintentional ,honest! ( I was onto a promise of some midnight gobbling, so I thought I'd give me baws a nice crop spraying of some expensive Jo Malone aftershave) I screamed something like "Nnnggg" and scratched my way up the bathroom wall, all the way to the ceiling

 

 

jd0272

hootsmon said:

the worst pain ever was when I sprayed aftershave up me arse.....unintentional ,honest! ( I was onto a promise of some midnight gobbling, so I thought I'd give me baws a nice crop spraying of some expensive Jo Malone aftershave) I screamed something like "Nnnggg" and scratched my way up the bathroom wall, all the way to the ceiling

 

 

Bucky has a lot to answer for..

octatonic

Thing is though women LIKE children.

There is a reward at the end of the pain.

Would you be happy to be kicked in the bollocks every 9 months if you got a Fender Strat or a sloppy blow job afterwards?

monquixote

octatonic said:

Thing is though women LIKE children.

There is a reward at the end of the pain.

Would you be happy to be kicked in the bollocks every 9 months if you got a Fender Strat or a sloppy blow job afterwards?

Not if it was immediately afterwards, I'm not sure I'd enjoy it.

PolarityMan

monquixote said:

octatonic said:

Thing is though women LIKE children.

There is a reward at the end of the pain.

Would you be happy to be kicked in the bollocks every 9 months if you got a Fender Strat or a sloppy blow job afterwards?

Not if it was immediately afterwards, I'm not sure I'd enjoy it.

Why? do you play guitar with your wang?