At ease ICBM, stand down y'all...

thebreeze

As you will know from my other posts re my first gig in 30 years, I was going to get some advice re my amp which completely went berserk at the end of the gig - into a wall of distortion, which I couldn't make head nor tail of in the heat of the moment.

In the cold light of day and on closer inspection it turns out that there is nothing wrong with my amp at all (quite a relief tbh) and the problem was down to some serious (and amusing) user error.  

Having taken some of the "top tips" to heart, we thought it would be a good idea to have a kind of "stage look".  Dinner suits and brothel creepers were the verdict (don't ask).  In all the excitement of an encore and being unaccustomed to brothel creepers (something else that only come out every 30 years) I'd kicked the pedals all over the place (a knob had even come completely loose) so that all of a sudden nothing made any sense anymore.  Sign of a great gig.    

ESBlonde

Ha, novice.

Despite many years experience, we had a gig this Saturday where we had to set up in silence behind the stage curtain while others performed acousticly in front of it. No chance to test the pedal/amp features properly. I have amp hiss and the signal into the tuner is good.
Curtain goes back, band exposed and I have no sound! Panic sets in when obvious things (at the time) are checked, i have an input switcher with mute so several possible combinations possible. Still nothing more than very faint signal. Guitar straight into amp - fine! tuner reads. All patches checked and secure but wont pull out because of screwed down location. Finally after what seems like an age I realise the input volume on the echo unit is wound down. Also in all the bending over etc. I've upset the traditional Tele jack socket too! Longest 15 seconds of the night.
After that it got a lot better very quickly, so even us old hands get it wrong sometimes.

Alnico

DO NOT arrange that as the curtains go back, it exposes the band but not you and then you walk on from stage left while playing (Playing and walking is not as easy as you think when it's planned) and just as you get 1ft from the mic stand and the big 'Wallop' of vocals, you stand on your lead and THEN realise you forgot to loop it round your strap.................

Epiphone 335 Dot,.................................No Noise, ...................................Massive "Clunk" as the jack plug hits the stage, ..................Shocked look on guitarists face,.......................Extreme laughter.

That was the first song. The Gig was a nightmare. It was the early 90's at 'The Corn Exchange' so not a little venue, stage or audience. IN fact i feel bad just thinking about it...........................

"WHERE'S TEDDY ???".........................................

DesVegas

Classic(s)

ICBM

I had quite a good one many years ago.

Came back on after the souncheck, launch into first song - silence from my amp. Band comes to a halt.

Guitar up full - check. Signal level lights on FX unit - check. Amp volume turned up - check. Just to make sure I turn it up further. (ie pretty much full.)

I think something must have blown in the amp, so lean over the back to look at the valves - glowing normally and lighting up really bright blue when I strum the guitar - amp definitely working.

Then I look down and somehow spot that the speaker cable is pulled halfway out of the jack in the cabinet - an old Marshall 4x12" so it's at the bottom - it turns out the drummer probably caught it with his foot on his way back behind the kit. I can't reach it so I ask him to push it back in, which he does.

Now bear in mind that as the cable goes back in, I am leaning against the front of the cabinet with the guitar directly against the top two speakers and everything turned up full... and it's a Telecaster with a slightly microphonic bridge pickup .

cbilly22

Playing at the Yorkshire House in Lancaster one night and we sound checked before the headliners. Their guitarist innocently shoved my pedal board to one side while he did his check and wandered off to the bar. We launch into the first song and everything sounds great until I realise the pedal board in front of me is not mine. Spent the first two songs hopping from one foot to the other and leaping out from behind the side curtain to get to the mike like some sort of LP toting Phantom of the Opera...all I needed was a cape!!

Roland

You're lucky the cones didn't come out.

DesVegas

cbilly22 said:

Playing at the Yorkshire House in Lancaster one night and we sound checked before the headliners. Their guitarist innocently shoved my pedal board to one side while he did his check and wandered off to the bar. We launch into the first song and everything sounds great until I realise the pedal board in front of me is not mine. Spent the first two songs hopping from one foot to the other and leaping out from behind the side curtain to get to the mike like some sort of LP toting Phantom of the Opera...all I needed was a cape!!

brilliant!!

thebreeze

These are some great tales!.....and make me feel a little less foolish to boot (pun intended).

ICBM

Roland said:

You're lucky the cones didn't come out.

If you mean me, I was quite lucky I didn't end up doing a Marty McFly and leaping backwards twenty feet - just from the sheer shock if nothing else . Unfortunately my hands were still over the back of the amp so it must have taken a second or two to grab the guitar and turn it off.

I was probably more concerned that the amp had been running at full volume with no cab connected before that… although being an old Fender Bassman, it came to no harm - they're tough, luckily.

slacker

Many years ago I joined a band on bass. I'd been in a couple before but only one gig, and some 8 track studio recordings. The moron of a lead singer made many many mistakes (which led to me leaving after the gig). However the ones relevant here are that without supervision and against what was agreed he booked a really expensive venue that meant we had to sell 200 tickets to break even. So new band, first gig, 200 people, brain dead singer/self styled band leader what could possibly go wrong?

BDS decides he needs an entourage so he gets two teenagers to be our soundmen. THe fact that they had never done it before and didnt have any sound gear wasnt a problem. He gets someone else to do sound and transfers these lads to roadie detail. SO here's getting to the actual point. 

The big plan is that the stage curtains are shut the stage is filled with smoke from two smoke machines and we play the first song with solo guitar intro and the curtains open, smoke ensues we are all rock stars. 

What happened is that the stage was filled with smoke, no guitar noises. More smoke. No guitar. More smoke. People cough. Finally some guitar. Yay. Let's get this over and leave the band. 

What actually happened is that the roadies were let loose with gaffa tape and taped down all loose leads. Including the one to the guitar. The guitarist tried to remove his guitar from the stand and it wouldnt budge an inch. 

Fez

At gig last year I broke a string at the start of the second verse in Californication, yes on a strat so you know what happens to your tuning. Turn round quick to swap to second guitar but the lead is tangled up in the stand PANIC! Bass players usually recalcitrant daughter to the rescue back up and running just in time for the solo Phew!

Cabicular

Very first gig I did was in a town hall in Lennox town
The opening tune of our very first gig started with me playing a D to E riff and then the band come in
After being announced by the host I boldly stride to the front of the stage, raise my hand to the air and adopt the pose
Only when striking the strings did I realise I'd left my amp on standby ....
And I thought the walk to the front of the stage was long .......