How to overcome stage fright?

SquireJapan

After not playing out for many years, I did a bit research on the same question. Lots of good advice on here. What worked well for me was:
1. Practicing the whole thing with a metronome to highlight the bits I was a bit crap at (awkward changes and slopping timing)
2. Starting at random points through the songs to make sure I could recover from messing up
3. Practicing standing up and "pretending" I'm performing (including trying to make myself nervous)
4. Videoing myself and watching it back (which was cringe inducing for the first few times, as I was singing - and for the first time in front of anyone). That actually was one of the best ones, as when you hit record, your performance nerves kick in. Especially if you imagine putting that straight on Youtube ... you'll start bricking it.
5. Standing like a capital 'A' - face the audience and practice all this standing up
6. Practicing playing without looking at the guitar

The list makes me look like I'm a bit anally retentive .. and reading it myself I'd be inclined to agree.

Went incredibly well, as by the time I played, I'd pretty much gotten out as much of the anxiety before hand, plus the mistakes I made were all easily recoverable.

FreddieVanHalen

Alnico said:

@sporky nailed how i was thinking about this.
The stage fright is the drug and the more intense it is the better the free rush.
I have always dealt with it by looking at it as free drugs...

This is a lovely perception shift, simple, beautiful. Using this :-)

Alnico

SquireJapan said:

After not playing out for many years, I did a bit research on the same question. Lots of good advice on here. What worked well for me was:
1. Practicing the whole thing with a metronome to highlight the bits I was a bit crap at (awkward changes and slopping timing)
2. Starting at random points through the songs to make sure I could recover from messing up
3. Practicing standing up and "pretending" I'm performing (including trying to make myself nervous)
4. Videoing myself and watching it back (which was cringe inducing for the first few times, as I was singing - and for the first time in front of anyone). That actually was one of the best ones, as when you hit record, your performance nerves kick in. Especially if you imagine putting that straight on Youtube ... you'll start bricking it.
5. Standing like a capital 'A' - face the audience and practice all this standing up
6. Practicing playing without looking at the guitar

The list makes me look like I'm a bit anally retentive .. and reading it myself I'd be inclined to agree.

Went incredibly well, as by the time I played, I'd pretty much gotten out as much of the anxiety before hand, plus the mistakes I made were all easily recoverable.

I see all of that as perfectly acceptable and methodical systems for getting it right on the night. Nothing wrong with any of that at all and great advice for someone who's learned the songs but needs some structure to what happens on stage and in terms of the actual performance.

Really well written and great advice.

I will add the one my Dad made me learn when i joined / formed my first band in 1986.
Play at night in a pitch black room with only the lights of your amp and pedals to see the guitar with.
In my Dad's words............."What are you going to do at the NEC when the lights go down, stop playing ???"

It's as relevant in the club circuit as it would be to supergroups. Don't just learn to play with your eyes shut, actually learn to play in the dark. It's great fun and you see your guitar in a new light...........literally.

SquireJapan

Alnico said:

I will add the one my Dad made me learn when i joined / formed my first band in 1986.

Play at night in a pitch black room with only the lights of your amp and pedals to see the guitar with.
In my Dad's words............."What are you going to do at the NEC when the lights go down, stop playing ???"

It's as relevant in the club circuit as it would be to supergroups. Don't just learn to play with your eyes shut, actually learn to play in the dark. It's great fun and you see your guitar in a new light...........literally.

That's awesome! It's actually a bit like something off Star Wars or something ... become one with the gear.


Next time I'm in a band I'm going to do that at practice. Love it, honestly!

Alnico

SquireJapan said:

Alnico said:

I will add the one my Dad made me learn when i joined / formed my first band in 1986.

Play at night in a pitch black room with only the lights of your amp and pedals to see the guitar with.
In my Dad's words............."What are you going to do at the NEC when the lights go down, stop playing ???"

It's as relevant in the club circuit as it would be to supergroups. Don't just learn to play with your eyes shut, actually learn to play in the dark. It's great fun and you see your guitar in a new light...........literally.

That's awesome! It's actually a bit like something off Star Wars or something ... become one with the gear.


Next time I'm in a band I'm going to do that at practice. Love it, honestly!

Don't wait until you're in another band, do it as soon as you like. It's loads of fun because you can see the strings and the fretboard but only highlights. It's a good skill to hone by doing it a lot and getting used to it, but it is loads of fun to do anyway.

Maynehead

Lots of comments about staying sober.... I used to religiously stick to water only before a gig, and did that for years. Thought it made sense since alcohol slows you down.

Then one time I had a beer before rehearsal, and played the best I've ever played! (No, I did not just think I did.) I realised that a beer actually focuses the mind, and stops it racing ahead in mid song, worrying about solos etc. It just allowed the music to flow out naturally, without thinking.

I now have one and only one pint before a gig, which seems to be the optimal amount. You obviously don't want to get too pissed. Interestingly tonight's gig I only had water and I felt like I was not as relaxed as usual, and started thinking too much mid song again.

Probably will work for some but not others, worth a try before a rehearsal though.

Alnico

Maynehead said:

Lots of comments about staying sober.... I used to religiously stick to water only before a gig, and did that for years. Thought it made sense since alcohol slows you down.

Then one time I had a beer before rehearsal, and played the best I've ever played! (No, I did not just think I did.) I realised that a beer actually focuses the mind, and stops it racing ahead in mid song, worrying about solos etc. It just allowed the music to flow out naturally, without thinking.

I now have one and only one pint before a gig, which seems to be the optimal amount. You obviously don't want to get too pissed. Interestingly tonight's gig I only had water and I felt like I was not as relaxed as usual, and started thinking too much mid song again.

Probably will work for some but not others, worth a try before a rehearsal though.

I went through a period of doing this with a smoke and then i realised something. Unless I know the song backwards, having any stimulant in me goes against me however if I *really* know it inside out, it does help me play way better and more confidently. 
For me it was a double edged sword it would either be totally the best i've ever played and perfect or it would be monumentally shit.
Since i stopped doing that, i've found (The last few times i played live) that i'm more relaxed and less nervous about the actual gig but i do find it a bit harder to get into things the way i used to.
I personally like a whisky halfway through the gig. Just one shot to give the second set a bit of fizz but again, i have to be really careful about knowing the songs or even that one drink will cause a stumble.

My biggest problem whenever i've played live is remembering what comes next. Lyrics, riffs, chords, the lot. My actual playing isn't that bad but my 'Freeze up' if you like is when i haven't learned the songs properly and it just clouds over in my mind. I remember things with pictures and sounds so i remember lyrics by visualising the piece of paper (Or screen) they are written on. My memory is photographic based after years of glancing at a map and then having to remember it without looking again. I use all kinds of STUPID mental things to mark reference points around the neck and ways of remembering things but if i lose sight of one thing, it's just gone and then there is just tumbleweeds, whistling and dust................

For this reason i advocate listening to the song you want to play as many times as is humanely possible. You will know when you know the song properly because you will want to scream if you hear it again. When you're that sick of a song, you know in your minds 'Ear' what it should sound like so actually playing it now is only that last half of the battle. For me, if i don;t know the song *that* well, i can learn all the riffs i want to, i will just forget them.
Listening and playing are and always have been just as important as each other.

Hope that helps someone.

vasselmeyer

Thanks to everyone for contributing to this. It's all really helpful, including the comments from @Sporky which I didn't read properly the first time around!

In terms of material this is all their own stuff so they have to learn it themselves. Some of it's overcomplicated, but I guess you do that when you're 17 don't you? You learn how to pare down your stuff to get the point across.

Anyway, they've agreed to a couple of dress rehearslas in front of people they trust. The lad I'm looking after should be fine with that. I've told him he can turn his back on us if he wants, he can hide behind the PA if he wants, even play somehwre out of view if he wants to borrow my wireless system. At least he'll be able to play in the same room as someone else apart from his bandmates.

He doesn't want to join theFB so I've copied and pasted your comments and sent them to him. We'll sit down in a couple of days and go through them and discuss then and get his thoughts. I think the main thing is that he can see he's not alone. Many people suffer from nerves and a few less get stage fright, but the number is still considerable. If other people can get through it, I'm sure he'll make it through.

Thanks, all.

Sporky

vasselmeyer said:

Thanks to everyone for contributing to this. It's all really helpful, including the comments from @Sporky which I didn't read properly the first time around!

Some might suggest that many of my posts aren't entirely serious! I can assure you that that one was - it may sound silly, but I honestly find ridiculing fear quite effective. Different things work for different people, of course, but once you know and understand what you're up there to do the main thing is to make sure you do get up there.

I had a shift recently in that I used to prepare all my own material for presenting - I'd have content outlines and go from there. New job is more tightly "scripted" for presentations - there isn't a script per se, but slides are fixed and demonstrations pre-set. My first one for this job was really worrying because it didn't flow naturally for me; concepts weren't introduced in what I thought was the "right" order, the slides had too many words and it was a much more technical audience than I've dealt with before.

Going through the two approaches I mentioned got me up there and started, and suddenly it was all OK again.

Once you've done a few successfully the other approach is to focus on the facts of previous performance rather than any expectation of the next.

digitalscream

vasselmeyer said:

I've told him he can turn his back on us if he wants, he can hide behind the PA if he wants, even play somehwre out of view if he wants to borrow my wireless system.

It's worth noting that focusing on your bandmates can be a good thing from a stage perspective - as soon as he gets to a point that he's not 100% confident about playing in front of people (or just a complex bit), he can just turn around and play at the drummer or the singer.

vasselmeyer said:

He doesn't want to join theFB

WHAT????

...you could just send him the link. He can still see it even if he's not a member