What to do about a pessimistic, sceptical, unenthusiastic boss?

p90fool

RandallFlagg said:

p90fool said:

You work for Tesco too, huh? 

No but Mrs Flagg has just started at the local Tesco supermarket and enjoying it. The Managers are pretty good and are always on the shop floor and praising good work, exceptional efforts are recognised with a thank you card and round of applause by the Management team. They appear to get the 'positive reinforcement' consequence management behavioural psychology practice.

I was joking really, ours is actually a great place to work. I'm not there much these days because of music commitments but the dealings I've had with management right up to director level have almost always been respectful, well informed and relaxed. I've met the occasional jumped-up little prick on my travels around the country, but they either never seem to survive for long, or they grow up and relax a little.

I am also the sort of person who gets a shudder up the spine when I hear about some positive reinforcement techniques, but when it's sincere it's hard to be too cynical.

When I was asked to put a band together from our small store to enter a national competition almost the entire workforce were bussed to the venue 70 miles away to support us, all expenses paid at a giant pissup.
Free booze and food = proper team bonding, as everyone knows.

professorben

Placidcasual79 said:

Shit in his top draw 

Obviously don't get caught, that could be awkward. 

Nikko

And make sure your balls are clear of the drawer when you close it.

professorben

Nikko said:

And make sure your balls are clear of the drawer when you close it.

Bonus points for tea bagging your bosses drawer tho. 

DrJazzTap

My boss is useless. Has this vacant look on his face like he's listening but not taking anything on board.
Main reason I'm looking for a new job. Five bosses in four years...And no it's not me!

richardhomer

I'd go out of my way to undermine him at every opportunity - people really respect that in subordinates. 

It'll make you look strong, tough and perceptive.

People will realise that it is YOU who are the true leader in their midst - and will reward you with promotion and untold riches....

slacker

RandallFlagg said:

My boss is pessimistic, always sceptical, slow on the uptake (I have to explain things 3 times before he gets it), and has a generally unenthusiastic outlook. Oh, and he doesn't read emails and is a poor communicator. He also cannot review documents electronically, he has to print it off and scribble all over it and scan it back.

I find this uninspiring, tedious and generally hard work.

I've been with this company many years and bosses have come and bosses have gone, some better than others. Any tips for managing him until he moves on, gets the sack or is pushed out of a top floor window?

All sarcasm, wit and absurd replies are welcome as I need cheering up!

There's not a lot you can do, if you make a complaint it will probably be to the person who employed or promoted him, so that isnt going to work. sporky suggested make him look awesome or play it for laughs, i'd suggest both with a little passive aggressive thrown in. Oh add some malicious compliance. 

Have some fun as he will be promoted or sacked in the near future. 

richardhomer

slacker said:
Have some fun as he will be promoted or sacked in the near future. 

To increase the 'fun' element, may be we could run a Fretboard sweepstake on the outcome?

ourmaninthenorth

I find a simple question like "are you OK? " can often reveal surprising results,and context. 

thomasross20

There's a guy in my office who causes problems for lots of people. He is loud and aggressive and thinks he knows it all when he doesn't. After a particular incident on Thursday I literally got up and walked out of the office. I'll be back in on Monday. The office manager doesn't appear to be doing anything about it - I think he's more technical than "people." It may mean I am forced to move.

TheBlueWolf

Make a video of you giving his wife a good rogering. Then torment him not only with said video but the knowledge that, if he were 'capable' his wife wouldn't need to look elsewhere.

RandallFlagg

OK so far I've got shit in his drawer, teabag and then slam his missus on video and then ask him 'How are you?'

Do I ask him "How Are you?' before or after I show him the video of me balls deep in his missus?

Sporky

Both, so you can gauge the impact it has on him.

RandallFlagg

OK but I haven't seen his wife so may be a right munter so will need 5 pints before.

ourmaninthenorth

RandallFlagg said:

OK but I haven't seen his wife so may be a right munter so will need 5 pints before.

Have you considered your boss is this way because he's forced to spend time with you...?

I know I would be.