Work/life Issues...bit of advice please?

Niallmo

Well it's been a horrendous couple of weeks my "holding" role as Store Manager came to an abrupt end, pretty much out of the blue and I've been moved to another shop that is technically closer to my home. I was not asked or consulted about moving and it's being done to satisfy a return to work process for another manager who has been off for nearly two years. It's complicated, it's also political within the company and in my head it all keeps coming back to a feeling that it's just "not right".  

I don't feel I've received any support in the role to get me towards full store manager sign off as it is and was only told that I was in my "accountability" period for sign-off on my role, halfway through.  My change of details papers were only submitted after two months and I had no clear idea about what I was aiming for or how the process was going to work. This is inspite of clear guidelines about weekly review and 20,40 and 60 day meetings that technically should happen before any accountability period....you can see where I'm going with this can't you?

 Unfortunately due to having to take my wife to work and kids to various nurseries/grandparents it'll now take me about 90 minutes to get to work as it's in the wrong direction to where my wife works. She's a teacher, earns more than I can even as an SM but there is no way for her to get to work on time by bus etc. I'm basically being told that that is my issue and I need to sort it or leave as I "have a contract that states I will work between the hours of an8am-8pm rota" with mobility clause.  I'm going to request a copy of my contract for more detail.

I feel miserable and it's giving me real anxiety, the type you can feel in your chest, and has set me back enormously on my battle with stress/anxiety/depression to the point where I was at my lowest about 18 months ago. I feel like it's going to end very badly no matter what.  

I have a be to go to work now...I'll talk to my manager, a guy I like and was supportive but he's already taken a bit of a company line...there is more but I've run out of time....

mgaw

if its was me and it was affordable i would probably be looking for a more convenient job to fit in around the kids etc....
First thing though is to chat with your manager and ask him ...got to go on the school run  ......

DLM

Wow, Niall, sorry to hear you're being treated so badly.

Niallmo said:

I'm going to request a copy of my contract for more detail.

This is insane. How do you not have a copy of your own contract? Is this a UK thing? Surely that is illegal under EU labour law, while that still applies to the UK...

Veganic

1. If you have stress/anxiety etc that is your biggest problem. This will cloud your judgement.

2. If you fight stuff like this there is usually only one winner except in exceptional cases.  You best option is to look for a better job. Maybe your state of mind means you don't feel up to that. If so then you better start enjoying the changes that have come to you.
Taking this on the chin might be good in the long run as long as the company is generally ok.  Friends will generally be supportive of your case which can strengthen the feeling of injustice but they don't have your bills to pay.

3. The journey to work.  This seems to be the real cause of you stress. Work is work, you were doing it before so you can do it in your new location. You can't say no to your wife.  This will come to a head sooner or later. Anxiety etc usually comes with disrupted sleep making mornings a flash point. You don't mention the journey home and you have posted this in the morning.  Option 1: accept the challenge, internalise it and do it.  Option 2. Talk to your wife about the opportunity to learn to drive or to get taxis (not that expensive if you do the sums and consider the alternatives.)

4. I could be wrong. 
 

gusman2x

You have a right under law to request flexible working. Company does not have to honour it, but they do have to consider it and fully justify their response. It's relatively new. Google it.

And good luck!

Nabokovs_Monkey

Hey man, sounds rough. 

What is is that you want?

Snap

Niall, mate, you need to take a moment. Find a quiet spot and do some deep breathing, and do this several times a day. That will put the dog at bay for a while, give you a breather.

Its the stress you need to sort out. If you can't alter the situation that's causing the stress, you need to remove yourself from it. If you can't sort the job situation out, leave. Get another job. Your health is the most important thing. Your family will want a fit and well Dad, not an ill Dad, who is bringing a wage in.

Jobs come and go, but your health is precious.

You could of course go sick, seek advice saying your job condition changes are making your life intolerable - that could be constructive dismissal. I don't know, not being an employment law specialist.

maltingsaudio

Some companies use their staff as tools others treat them like people, my GF worked as store manager for one company for a year but they still didn't rubber stamp it so when she applied for another job as a Store manager she couldn't put her last role down as store manager. She got the job with a much better company at a much better wage with better people to work with!

Thing is when we are in work and jobs are scarce its very difficult to think in terms of its just a job I can get another one. 
Best advice from here is start looking for another one which suits you better

p90fool

Your wife has a decent job, can you take a temporary step down while you sort things out?

I work for Tesco and have plenty of managerial experience from previous jobs and would never put myself on their Options scheme, as the only thing they require for sign-off in my opinion is a 100% commitment to working for free whenever and wherever they tell you to. 

FWIW nobody I've ever met within the company who has stepped back down a grade for life/personal reasons has ever regretted it - they all wear a perpetual smile of relief at being allowed to go home at the end of their shift and to make plans with their family and social lives. 

thermionic

Are you in a union?

I guess you'll say no, but this is exactly the kind of situation that I'd be seeking help from my union. Good luck.

Niallmo

Thanks guys, very useful and a welcome reality check!

i probably do have my contract somewhere, but I'd like to know that they do too! I signed it five years ago before I had kids. I would have also expected my wife to learn to drive by now as that was the plan. At that point I was doing an eighty mile round trip to take her to work!  I e changed store five times since then. Always been punctual, always worked to the needs of the business.

Travelling home is about the same time as my other store. That's not an issue.

ive had a long conversation with my SM who knows me well. He basically had the same thing done to him at a higher level and his boss had it done to him!  The company is supposed to have concrete procedures and sign offs in place but they seem to change on a whim and my ex-regional manager who may, or may not be coming back after a serious illness seems to have made some decisions and promises that the company is now going back on.

overall I know the job well, I'm good enough to be a Store Manager but the company is really pushing its luck with some very good talent that it needs to nurture and support rather than piss off and leave in the wilderness.

I think my idea is to just be signed off as a store manager, I'd done 90% of the process, it can be finangled,  and I'd just like some acknowledgement and an apology for the way I've been treated. 

Jalapeno

Forget apology - won't happen.

Your boss, and his boss are the ones to sort out acknowledgement - mention it, often !